So background story: I was seeing a guy for a little over a year, not exclusive but not seeing anyone else and no he wasn't using me/it wasn't a friends with benefits situation as he was a virgin. Things sort of tailed off for a year and I got into contact with him to wish him a happy Christmas, not expecting a reply. We've been talking everyday since, so a month and he asked to hang out this weekend. He decides to leave it til today then backs out, saying he's sorry and really really wants to see me but is kinda scared or something and can't do this now and says maybe in a couple of weeks. Then he continues the conversation as normal as if he hasn't just dropped a bombshell. I haven't replied yet. I don't understand, whys he scared? of what? I'm not a stranger. Does he really want to see me or is he just trying to find an excuse? I've been crying ever since.. I just don't get it, what have I done wrong?
He's scared? Of what?
What Guys Said 2
You haven't done anything wrong - that's the one thing you have to realize. Don't blame yourself - he's capable of making his own decisions.
It sounds to me like he's uncertain I would definitely back away - don't allow yourself to be a victim of your environment. To get pushed and pulled around always wondering.
In my experience people who back out at the last minute are generally not interested but aren't able to say no or they ask you out then immediately feel like it was a bad idea but are too afraid to back out until the last minute. You'll see this behavior over and over in this situation.
It's ok to cry about it - there is no shame in how you feel, but decide now not to be exposed to this again. It's too easy to give in on a false hope - he'll lead you along then dash you again in two weeks.
It's not easy but deciding to step back now will be best in the long run and you won't be feeling this way.
Remember sometimes you can do everything as perfectly as possible and still end up in this situation. It's simply life - I hope those tears dry up soon! You're stronger than you know I promise!1
Maybe he got a crush on another girl, and he is scared to lie to her/you.0
What Girls Said 0
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