You ever dated a "femme fatale"?

[Anonymous]

You ever dated a girl who was very physically attractive but also really toxic as well? Someone who uses their appeal to lure you in and make you feel special but once you like them, they ditch you, leaving you crushed.

My experience, I had a girl I met off PoF who was the first girl that I dated who had a ton in common and was very physically attractive but she just got out of a rough relationship.

Despite knowing she was newly single and that wanted to take things slow, I didn't think much of it. I didn't know what a rebound was. I had friends get into relationships shortly after ones ended so I just played it by ear.

We talked for a few weeks off Pof then she asked me to text her. We talked more and more and then she would start calling me every day, even to the point of begging me to talk while I was going to bed or out with friends. Never had someone I liked be that into me while having a ton in common. She'd also say things like wanna talk, mi love hearing your voice.

She did complain about her ex a lot. But I was naive and felt bad for her and tried to be the opposite of her ex. Boy, did that backfire. She was very manipulative. She begged for my attention but then once I showed interest back, she'd back off. She ended up going to the ex she complained about and it destroyed me. Made me feel like I was nothing to her and e ex is so much better than me. Having a 10 month dry spell before that didn't help either.

The problem with it all is even though I've dated many girls after her, she was still my closest to a relationship and it has left a lasting effect on me, that's in the back of my mind here and there.

I don't know why she's still on my mind from time to time. Even though she's very attractive, she's very toxic.

[harakiri]

she isn't a femme fatale. she's just a hot girl who also happened to be hurt in the past and is somewhat immature. the only reason you see her as toxic is because your ego was bruised since she went back to her ex. don't be a chump. you're better off.

[Asker]

Yeah well she used me to make this ex jealous and said fucked up shit like make fun of him for his babydick.

[harakiri]

Yeah she sounds like a psycho

[Asker]

Yeah, bottom line. Never overlook red flags because of someone's appearance. She might have been the most attractive girl I've dated but also the craziest.

[harakiri]

Yeah. Let's try to curb the shallowness.

[Asker]

I mean don't get me wrong, I didn't just like her for her appearance. We shared a ton of common interests, views on life, politics, etc. Felt like I could talk with her about anything. Her being very attractive on top of it just made it seem too good to be true.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

I think once u either get in a relationship or meet another girl u bond with you'll forget about her

[Asker]

Yeah but that's the thing. I've had a hard time getting a relationship. Usually the ones I wanna date seriously don't and vice versa. If a girl I don't like is that into me and I don't like her back I'm not just gonna settle just for he sake of dating. That's pretty desperate.

[kambo_trick3y]

Only morons who think with their dick first fall for femme fatale games.

Jedi mind tricks only work on the weak minded.

Sorry to say, but you're weak minded.

[Asker]

How was I thinking with my dick?

[TheWiseOwl]

No 'femme fatale' women sound like dickheads and I don't date dickheads.

[Asker]

Yeah pretty much. There's another word from them too. Rhymes with punt.

No offense ladies.

[TheWiseOwl]

Bahahaha! Allow me, CUNT. :')

[Asker]

Not to mention, she had the nerve to make Facebook statues saying why can't I find nice guys with tattoos, is that too much to ask for? And I'm glad I don't care about you anymore, makes it easier for me to find guys worth my time, in reference to an ex that she's back with.

Sometimes I think this song was written about her.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XvH-Da-rSjA

[TheWiseOwl]

She sounds like a goon, be glad she's gone.

[Asker]

Yeah, it's just tough because the ex she's now back with ran cross country with me in high school and him and his siblings are pretty close to my younger brothers so seeing him brings up bad memories.

[Klaatu51]

never,... basically i can't spot a femme fatal.

i'm not good at this :-(

[Asker]

I don't think you realize they are until they leave you.

[loveskittens]

That would be all of my relationships. You are not alone brother.

[Asker]

Yeah except I've never really had a real relationship, just hookups and flings at most.

[loveskittens]

Nothing to be ashamed of you'll find someone nice one day.

[Asker]

Well it's not that I'm ashamed of it. My issue is that I'll find girls that I'll hit it off with and will have up to 3-4 dates with and then they flake afterwards without any red flags that they're not interested anymore when were together in person. It's like I don't know if I'm not doing enough or doing too much if that makes any sense. Not to sound like one of those "why don't girls like me, I'm nice" guys.

It makes me think I'll never understand how relationships work.

[loveskittens]

It happens. Personally I don't want to change who I am just to please some girl I just met. It's somewhat of a good thing if it ends before it gets serious.

[Asker]

Yeah but here's the thing. I don't put it out there that I've never been in a relationship, but I'm worried about a girl asking me about my last/longest relationship and if I say I've never been in a relationship, they'd inheritly think somethings wrong with me as to why i never had a traditional gf. I feel like it has some 40 year old virgin stigma to it. Like I'm not a virgin, but you know what I mean?

Maybe it's about how the way I word it. If a girl does ask then I should say I've dated but nothing serious instead of I've never had a gf or relationship. After having a ton of hookups and flings, I don't get why guys brag about the number of women they get. It really means nothing. When I date/hook up with a girl, I'm happy the opportunity comes. It's not like oh man, this is girl #9! lol

[loveskittens]

I agree. If this is a serious problem you may want to speak with someone with more credentials than grade 12 psychology Lol

[Asker]

And that's the issue is trying to find out who to talk to. Anyone I've tried telling about this issue acts like I'm being needy and we'll say there's other girls, move on. Yeah there are tons of girls are out there, but the issue is it happens a lot and I don't know what I'm doing that's causing me to eventually fail and continue to get the same results.

[loveskittens]

I see. I was implying going for a few sessions with a therapist. I have seen a therapist once it's not a big deal. She just told me to stop being overly self critical and it helped a lot.

[Asker]

I'm not sure what your situation is but it's not that I'm self critical. I don't go into dating thinking is this gonna last, will i screw up? We'll just hit it off and then it'll end out of nowhere.

[loveskittens]

I'm just saying seeing a therapist was a good experience and it's not a big deal if you do decide to. I believe there as also specialized relationship therapist.

[Asker]

Gotcha I'll look into it.

[loveskittens]

Nice. best wishes

[bthomas89]

Did u ever meet her in person?

[Asker]

Yes.

[Asker]

Sorry there was a few things I left out. When we met in person, she was all giddy when she said my name and saw me in person for the first time. She even asked to go to my house and looked at family photos and commented on theme even the day after our date, she asked for a 2nd and said she wanted to make out again. I thought it was a bit much but I overlooked it because I liked her.

[Ihav2fart]

Go on dates with yes, seriously dating no.

[Asker]

What's your experience?

[Ihav2fart]

Well, in my case it's complicated. It was dragged on, I see her a few times a week cause her shop is down the block from mine. Our timing was always off. Now she has a boyfriend, and I moved on almost a year and a half ago. We're still friends, but don't hang out anymore.

[Asker]

That's good. Yeah I can't say the same about my situation. This girl manipulated me into thinking she wanted a relationship when really she just wanted a hookup and all the attention without the commitment that got me attached. And when I liked her back she made it seem like I was moving too fast and backed off, which was bullshit because if I did any of the shit she did to me, it'd scare a girl off. Ex: begging me to talk while im going to bed or out with friends. Saying i wanna be with a tall, cute, funny sweet guy before even meeting me. It is awkward seeing them after.

[Ihav2fart]

She's probably the type of person who's all about "me".

[Asker]

Yeah no doubt. It's funny when she got back with the ex who she told me to "make fun of him for his babydick" in case we ran him, I commented that on her status. I said you should tell her about the time you asked me to make fun of him for his babydick. Then she wrote on my wall saying hey asshole, you're the one with the babydick. You're being really jealous which is very ironic because she used me to make her ex jealous. She also said be a real man and I replied with, well I'm more real than someone who uses someone to get back at their ex and she said nothing back to that.