Should I date this Asian guy? PLEASE HELP ME?

He's an international student. All my friends don't like him cuz they said he's ugly and can't speak English . I used to think the same, but he asked me to be his gf and I told him I need time to think. He has waited 2 months now. He's so nice to me and I think I'm starting to fall for him. He cheers me up and makes me happy during my worst time. But, we have different opinions all the time. I support gay marriage while he thinks it goes against biology and therefore gross. But I start to really like him now. Should I agree to be his gf?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd say "I think you should give you two a chance together a see what happens :)" But then you said below that you're not attracted to him physically, just emotionally :/ Ok, so I'll be honest, I don't know if that is gonna work. Feel attraction for your partner is very important too. But well, only YOU know. You're the only one who can know if this will result. :) Just be careful to don't hurt his feelings.
    Anyway, If you choose try date this guy, I advice you to make it clear, from the start, that you would like him to accept and respect your ideals/opinions and let you dress like you always dressed. Other way, he may act like he own you and I'km sure we don't want that Lol :P
    Good luck :)

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What Guys Said 22

  • Why does it matter what your friends think? There are limitations to how much influence someone should have on your personal life. If you like him him go for it... not because he's Asian not because of how he speaks English ... go for it because you like him. Nothing else really matters.

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    • I imagine if one day he's not in my life anymore I'd be real sad and depressed, but again we have different opinions and cultures. One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/

    • He hasn't forced you to do anything... he only voiced his opinion.
      There is going to be multiple reasons on why you shouldn't date someone. I'm not going to answer that for you so ask yourself... do you want to go out with him or not? It's a simple as that.

  • do whatever YOU want without minding what your friends say about him. If you're really into him, then say yes :-)

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    • One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/ Plus we have different opinions on so many things. But still, I couldn't imagine not having him in my life now.

  • Are you dating him or are your friends dating him?

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  • Well ur friends are sum shallow bishes. Don't let their opinions get to u orn 'lol lose a good thing. Afterall, ur old enough To make ur own decision and what's good for u. Ur not a kid anymore having to listen to others opinion. He LUV u that much and u juz gonna hore him away like that at? at least he's human and not a ma kind of unknown creatures.

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    • I imagine if one day he's not in my life anymore I'd be real sad and depressed, but again we have different opinions and cultures. One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/

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    • But in the summer it gets up to 70F I suck at standing the heat.

    • I actually feel uncomfortable if ma gurl wear a really short shorts that reveals most of her thighs. It makes her seem easy and all that :/

  • the ultimate decision is ur's only, but all i can say that having contradiction opinions might be good because then u guys might have a topic to discuss to argue in a good way as it's so difficult to find what to talk. Also having contradicting personality gives u an opportunity to explore each other and that's what relationship mean according to me. Also about ur friends spealking ill of the guy , it doesn't matter as longs as u feel good about him because u gonna be the one that is going to be his gf not them

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  • first time i hear a guy is considered ugly just because the size of eyes OK. im ugly to you then lol.
    i just feel really bad for him
    if i were him, i wouldn't date you, im not attracted to girls that aren't attracted to me physically.

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    • Well I wouldn't date you either.

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    • i wasn't insulting you. i just told you i m not attracted to people who doesn't like me physically. your the one whos mad and blah blah blah.
      you think your a goddess that every guy would be after you like a clown.
      and of course i can't get any girl and i don't want to because nobody can.

      come on, stop trolling, why are you being anonymous? why do you think i am attracted to you?
      you are the one who consider dating an (you called ugly) dude not me.

      sarcastic!!

      by the way i forget you are a kid, sorry i was being so harsh to you, but you need to grow upXD

    • Haha you're as old as my niece ;)

      Usually mad people speak more. Calm people don't give a shit therefore ain't typing paragraphs. Grow up.

  • I say yes... why not date this guy?

    P. S. next time don't be so captive about your friend's approval about things like this

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    • One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/ Plus we have different opinions on so many things. But still, I couldn't imagine not having him in my life now.

  • There are but two questions to ask yourself here.

    1. Am I attracted to him?
    2. Is he a good man?

    If the answer is yes to both, than all other considerations can go to hell.

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    • 1. I'm not attracted to him physically, but I do emotionally.

      2. He is a good man. He's very nice to me and everything, but he cheated on his ex with her bestfriend (he confessed this to me).

    • If you feel that your emotional attraction can outweigh your lack of physical attraction, then great. How a person treats someone they want to get with is not nearly as telling as how they treat everyone else. The fact that he cheated on his ex with her best friend could very well be a huge red flag, depending on how long ago it was.

    • It was 7 years ago. He's 26 now he was 19 at the time... I know it's a huge red flag because if he cheated on her what'll prevent him from cheating on me. But again, it was a very long time ago and I really don't know why he told me about it.

  • I personally say nah but it depends. How much do cultural differences bother you? It does to me, I couldn't date an Asian international student. Different sense of humor, table manners, music, views on major topics, hygiene, etc etc etc etc.

    Just understand that Asian culture is very conservative, it's not a surprise that he thinks gay marriage is gross and against biology. He's most likely close minded about many other things and I'm not down with such close minded views. Up to you.

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    • One thing that bothers me about him is he's... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/ But still, I couldn't imagine not having him in my life now.

      Wait aren't you Asian?

    • Yep, I'm Asian but even I couldn't date an Asian fob. I'm not a traditional person, quite opposite.

  • sounds like a pretty awesome dude, i say date him!
    if your friends dont like it, maybe they aren't really your friends

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  • If he makes you happy then I say go for it. Difference in opinion on things shouldn't get in the way.

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  • Yeah.. Give it a shot. It's better to know what the outcome would have been instead of wondering it could have been. I don't think you have nothing to lose.

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    • That makes sense. Thank you.

  • Don't do it. You don't really mix philosophically.

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  • Where is he exactly from? Why don't your friends like him?

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    • He's from South Korea. My friends don't like him because they say he's ugly (small eyes Asian) and can't speak English fluently. Also his opinions are very odd sometimes (as in gay goes against biology).

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    • One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/

      Regarding to his English , although it's not fluent, most of the time I can understand what he's trying to say. I have to repeat myself a few times but I think it's fine.

    • That could be a problem. It's due to cultural differences. I'd suggest that you tell him not to bother you about ur dressing, but don't compromise. If he's fine, give it a try else you're fine without him.

  • Sure. You can always part ways if it doesn't work out.

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  • I say, give it a try and see where it goes.

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  • Everything is a first ;)

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  • It's all up to you. Do what you believe is right and respect yourself

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    • I imagine if one day he's not in my life anymore I'd be real sad and depressed, but again we have different opinions and cultures and none of my friends like him... What should I believe is right now?

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    • Thank you! That helps. I'll try that,

    • No problem :)

  • If you like him more than your frnds opinion then i guess you should go for it!

    Good luck :)

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  • If you don't like Japanese, you maybe try me (Turkish) hahaha :D

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  • Why wouldn't you. if you like him, and he's attractive to you, why wouldn't you?

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  • can i ask what race are you?

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    • White.

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    • blah balh balh

    • Are you stupid?

What Girls Said 16

  • So my SO is also Chinese American and there are cultural differences to overcome, to be sure. But I love my man. I find that he is so very intelligent and kind. I like the cultural differences as it enhances my knowledge of the world beyond the USA. I think you should give him a chance. It is not like you are marrying him or something. See what happens!

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    • One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/

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    • Thank you so much. I'll have a talk to him about that. And yes you're right, we should never change ourselves for someone else.

    • wish you well!

  • No two people can agree 100 percent of the time.
    If you feel you both are compatible and agree on most things, then go for it.
    Who cares what your friends think!
    You will be the one that's dating him.
    It's hard to find guys out there that treat you right.
    I say go for it, and don't hold back !

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    • Thank you, That's true. It's hard to find guys out there that treat me right...

  • Two humans can think different, it's totally normal. Look i don't like the idea that two handsome boys f*ck each other with love but the boy that i like can find it normal. So what? Should i drive away the love? And he's trying to learn your language that's why he's an international student. I don't know him probably he's got slanting eyes and small height but you told he waits for you from 2 months, it's big thing girl.. I'm not saying he's the man of your life but it's worth to try..

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    • Yeah. He waited a little more than 2 months after the day he asked me out. He never tell me to hurry up and give him the answer blah blah that's why I'm considering whether I should say yes to him.

  • if you both have a lot in common I say go for it. Looks aren't everything. Most Asian guys are extremely nice to women especially those that are from a different country. It never hurts to give him a shot though especially if you are developing feelings for him. To hell with what your friends think. You're 18 right now so trust me most of them won't even be around you by the time you are 28. It happens to everyone. Just go with your gut.

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  • u are not the one who going to date him, not your friends.
    Friends' advices are not always good especially when they criticise him on his look and his English skills.

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  • Why not if he's nice and makes you happy go for it (: As long as he speaks fluent English because honey that would be a problem if he didn't lol

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    • One thing that bothers me about him is he's a bit... conservative if not controlling... He doesn't want me to wear shorts or sleeveless shirt :/

      And lol his English is... hmmm... not really good... But although it's not fluent I can understand him most of the time :)

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    • How do I confront him though? I mean during the winter I wear jeans and long sleeve thick jackets. But when it's summer it's like 70 F I need to wear shorts I can't bare the heat! But he gets really uncomfortable about it and always bring extra jackets to cover me up @@ I understand he was raised in Asian culture for over 20 years so I can absolutely understand. But how should I confront him about it?

    • You. Cannot. Change. Him.

      As an Asian myself, imma say you're getting into a world of disappointment. I've known Asian people my entire life and even I CANNOT stand the conservativeness. This whole thing about not being able to wear shorts or sleeveless shirts? Yeah, you're only scratching the bare surface. Oh believe me it will get worse, consider his current views as a warning flag. Once you're in a relationship, expect to be even more limited. You're not gonna be able to do this, you can't do that, you must do this, you must think like this, etc etc.

      So the question stands. How much does his conservativeness/controlling affect you? Can you look past it? Maybe you should just go for it and find out for yourself if it's worth it. A learning experience :)

  • If you like him then date him if you don't then don't :) what your friends think would not matter if you like each other!

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    • I like him one same part but don't like him on other parts. I'm confusing myself now I don't really know how I feel and what should I do.

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    • Thank you. I guess I would take your advice :)

    • Good luck!

  • Why shouldn't you? Has he done anything that would harm you mentally or physically? Was he ever disrespectful toward you? If no, then I don't see a problem in dating him. It's not like you will wed

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  • Dude, that's up to you. Personally, I don't really see why not. But it's your choice.

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  • Go on if you really wanna and say no and make him go away if don't want to, don't get hopes high... listen to your heart and let the mind do it's work.

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  • You're probably another gorgeous girl falling for the fat oafish stench of an ugly male just because he makes you giggle. Build some standards, pls. We dont need anymore ugly babies because women don't give a shit about looks.

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    • Well yeah. My friends told me if we get married I'll have ugly babies. But it's not like we're going to get married! He has a good personality that should do him more good than hot cheating bastards.

    • Guys don't date girls that are ugly af just for their personality, so why should you grant them the honour of being open minded? Those disgusting flabby pieces of shit get all the hot girls they want, but it's never the other way around. Sick of women making life easy for them. I doubt if he didn't find you pretty he'd still be nice.

    • Wowwww lol

  • Forget your friends there not gonna date him lol

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    • Makes sense haha but yeah my bestfriend doesn't like him either. I imagine if one day he's not in my life anymore I'd be real sad and depressed, but again we have different opinions and cultures I don't know what to do arghhh.

    • See how it goes :) gdluck

  • I don't know, sounds like things are a little up and down right now. If he's controlling and disagrees with a lot of things.. then it sounds like you both don't have much in common. I suggest just being friends.

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  • To the earlier response...

    Well... if he doesn't want you to wear short sleeve shirts you shouldn't be giving him the time of day. Listen, it's good that you're considering the pros and cons... but he does not OWN you dear...

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  • It seems like he makes you happy. :)
    There's not too many guys willing to wait on a girl.
    Go for it.

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  • That's not love. It's about control.

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