So, my friends found my boyfriend on Tinder. When I confronted my boyfriend about it, he said that he had told me he joined it but i don't remember him saying that and that he was on it just to look at pics and get a confidence boost. So we talked about it and I thought we would move on. The next few days, things seemed off. Now, he is upset that my friends even told me and that he hates them. I asked him what i should do, get of my friends? He says he doesn't want to dictate my friends. So, I said ok then i don't know how to fix this. Now, its just getting more and more ridiculous. So, do you think he has more hiding or what do i take from this? It seems he has been cheating and got caught but I need some advice.
Most Helpful Girl
His weird defensiveness is a red flag. He isn't being responsible for his actions, he's instead projecting the blame to your friends (who were just being good friends). I don't have Tinder, but isn't it a little more than just rating pics? Did your friends find any possibility of him seeking out women? Can they see if he's chatting or looking at other girls or if what he is saying is true- he is just accepting compliments?
Why would he hate your friends? That doesn't make sense, except for the fact that they're the reason he got caught. I think you have options here. You may not see it, but you're the one with the power right now. You have lots of options.
1. Is he really that fragile? Ask yourself, does this statement really reflect who he is, that he needs a Tinder account to boost his pathetic ego? Do you really want that on your hands, because I can tell you that in the future a person like that will cheat and then blame you for not making him feel attractive enough... That's how it goes. This is the statement for someone who is fragile, not sensitive, but emotionally immature. The question is- do you really believe him when he says he needs this account only to have women rate how he looks?
2. You could fight fire with fire for a bit and see how it goes. Frankly you're a pretty girl, I can see your profile pic. Post your own Tinder account, with some hot pics, and get some good ratings in the first few days. Then reveal your account by rating him. See how that works on his delicate ego. While anyone with common sense would be able to see that it's fair, a narcissist (such as your boyfriend) would see this as unfair, an attack, and turn it into some sort of all-about-him drama. Research narcissism.
3. Stalk him out. You didn't do it before, but quite frankly if you're going to continue here, you really should take a good close look at your boyfriend. I think you might discover a few things that could lead to heartbreak.0