Am I really shallow because of this?

Okay so people always tell me that I'm shallow because of this: I have had a lot of guy friends who are really nice ask me out or tell me that they have a crush on me. And I have turned them down because I wasn't attracted to them. Okay I know that looks aren't EVERYTHING, but I can't say that they don't matter. For example, I wouldn't date a really hot guy that treated me like crap. But I wouldn't date a really ugly nice guy either.

So point is, I do think that personality is MORE important than looks, but I just don't think that I should settle for dating an ugly guy just because he's nice, when I could also find an attractive guy who is ALSO nice. I just don't feel like I should have to settle for just one thing. Does that really make me a shallow person?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're human. Everyone does this. There is a certain amount of physical attraction that is necessary to feel a romantic connection to another individual and if you don't have that you don't have that. It's the way we're all wired and honestly you're doing the other person a favor by admitting it up front.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Nope, perfectly reasonable. As long as you have actually found people attractive before and you can legitimately tell what you are innately attracted to.

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  • They're both important but for me personality takes precedence over looks.

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  • So all your friends are ugly?

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  • It is immaturity, not necessarily being shallow. You are probably very attractive, and is used to getting the guy you want. Or most, anyway. Most likelly as you get older you may find that the personality actually being a priority over looks. Unless you plan on playing the game for ever and have unlimited funds for plastic surgery. Because if you keep chasing looks eventually you your self will need to also keep up. And In that case you would be shallow. Because you base your life off of looks. And nothing more. And you will be chasing it for the rest of your life.. But you may be happy with that.

    Hope this helps.
    I do understand you may not like this opinion. But that's all it is. It's my opinion. Nothing more. And I do not mean any disrespect by it..

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    • I understand. And it's not like I would just be chasing looks my entire life. But I am only 20 years old, and I know that most relationships at this age won't go very far. So since I'm not currently looking for someone to marry, just someone to date, I think I should at least be attracted to them. If I had to choose someone to spend the rest of my life with, of course I would rather have someone with a good personality rather than good looks. Because we will all get old and ugly eventually. But that's not the case. If I'm just dating and I know it most likely won't go very far, I feel that I should at least be attracted to that person. But a lot of people seem to think that makes me shallow. I just don't see why anyone should have to date someone they're not attracted to, that's all.

What Girls Said 2

  • That's not shallow at all. Everyone has the right to be attracted to their (potential) partner, both physically and emotionally.

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  • Girl, I am the same way. NEVER date someone your not attracted to... I learned that from personal experience. I say keep your standards where they are. I'd rather be called shallow, for not dating a guy for no attraction, then a bitch, for dumping him and crushing his feelings.

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