Not making a move on the first date?

So I went on a date with this girl I met online. We had a great time, talked a lot (although I feel I spoke more than her.. oops). I got her number, and we agreed to a second date this week, not sure which day yet since we are both busy with university, work and/or moving.

But to the point: I never made any physical advances, but we both made a lot of eye contact every time we spoke. There was definitely at least some chemistry.

So is it weird for girls if us guys don't try anything on a first date? I just feel that it's a bit weird and borderline inappropriate to be touching or making moves on someone you just met, regardless of the fact that she was a kind beauty :)

I had been planning on making at least some sort of move on the second date because I do like her.

What are your thoughts?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Ok, Eye contact. Is natural, It's a date. By not making a move, it shows restraint. It shows your interested in her, not just for sex. Which is really reassuring for a girl, especially if she's not looking for sex. Most girls are looking for actual relationships, and I mean long term, not short. So, you have to be ready for commitment if, it actually lasts. When guys "make a move" it usually means he's only aiming to get in her pants, and well it's never really about the relationship, if it's purely based on sex.

    It all depends on what you want. If it's sex, then don't beat around the bush; if she want's it, she'll be clear about it, and return the hints. If you want a relationship, then respect her. If respect is mutual between both, then the relationship would be based on more than just sex.

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    • Thank you for the insightful comment. I am interested in a long term relationship, personally I don't think I could ever go out with someone with the intention of a quick lay, that is just way far outside my comfort zone.
      My concern comes from the last girl I dated, we went out a lot, but I never felt like it was right to make a move, so it went nowhere and but she still wanted to see me all the time, but it didn't work out.

      I just don't want to wait too long and at the same time, not offend her with being too up front and/or physical.

    • So, I got a text essentially saying that she'd love to keep hanging out because of how great I great I am but doesn't see this turning into a dating relationship. Ouch... -.- I must be doing something wrong.

    • You didn't do anything wrong. It's her way of basically saying that, she's merely interested in just the sex. I'm going to assume you backed off, and made it clear you were aiming for a relationship, not just friends with benefits. Which in turn, isn't your fault for her reaction. It's her, It was mainly her intention to get in your pants. :(

      If you really do, see it becoming a real relationship, then it's on you to make the attempt. That is, if your up to it. It's hard to say what she wants without really, knowing her intentions full on, but like I said. If you feel it could be a real relationship, then give it a date or so. If she seems to want to give off the main signals of wanting sex. Then you'll know it won't go anywhere but there, before the relationship even becomes that, but if she really seems to like being friends, and there's a possibility of there being more. I say go for it :) There's no harm in trying, especially if you think its worth it in the long run. :) Good Luck.

What Guys Said 1

  • 1st date i'd make a small move unless things took off on their own. But it's a toss up, as long as you were flirting.

    Part of the issue is that the longer you wait, you don't become more relaxed, you become more freaked out about it.

    You want to test for some mutual physical chemistry before you invest too much emotionally. Doesn't mean you have to have sex with her this week, but you want to know she's into you that way before you get really attached.

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