What's the best thing to give up on when looking for a partner?

You can't have everything, right? What's the best thing to give up on?

  • Sexual Attraction/Chemistry
    10% (7)15% (13)13% (20)Vote
  • Sense of Humor
    7% (5)6% (5)7% (10)Vote
  • Financial Stability
    34% (23)32% (27)33% (50)Vote
  • Common Interests
    28% (19)23% (19)25% (38)Vote
  • Other: Please Explain
    21% (14)24% (20)22% (34)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Common interests. I don't care if she likes what I like. As long as she doesn't insult them I'm three sheets to the wind.

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    • Does that mean something different in Canada? :)

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    • Haha, yaaaaaaaaaa after looking it up I may have used it out of context... Whoopsie doodle

    • I was just curious - I don't know many Canadian sayings.

What Guys Said 31

  • I know people put common interests, but for someone with a personality like mine you NEED a partner who shares at least a few things in common with you

    I say financial stability. She doesn't need to be rich in the slightest.

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    • Stability and wealth are different, of course.

    • Anonymous, stability and wealth are different but they go hand in hand. It's getting to the point where you have to be wealthy to be financially stable.

  • Sense of humor. I will just have to crack out the industrial grade funny gear then.

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  • I don't need someone with the same interest as me... as long as we have chemistry and an open mind we can create new interest for the both of us.

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    • ... funny, that's what I said when I was about your age and before nearly two decades of a crappy marriage. Long term, chemistry ebbs and flows. I guess your mileage may vary as they say. Today, I say, yes we need things we like to do together.

    • Well relationship are exactly what you put in. I'm the guy who is always expanding on his interest... I don't keep a closed mindset on things such as this so it wouldn't be hard to find new interest for the two of us. Let's not forget this is a hypothetical situation and in real life I'd still aim for a girl that has everything I'm looking for.
      @xHeyUX

  • 1. If one is looking for a partner then it's best to look into each other for compatibility
    2. If you have to give up something to acquire and/or retain a partner then best not to have that partner and it goes both ways
    3. Look for intent first other things come later

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    • All of the above is not likely to come in one package, despite being most people's ideal. Not giving up on at least one seems to be unrealistic. Which would you choose?

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    • Or do you let them come to you?

    • For one there's no runners up (I did mention I'm not into shopping & hence comparing) :-)

      it just happens and it's generally something mutual.

      Ah I'm a typical Taurean alright, I'd rather let them come to me than chase. But when I've chased anyone I've (by the book) been blind and oblivious to everything else lol

  • Once the ring goes on the finger or some other life - changing event, it's not the same relationship.
    Marriage is a classic example. In my case it was as obvious as night and day but in most stories I've heard, the change is gradual.
    The "giving up" part of your question is what you decide to do about it. You can change, you can confront, you can ignore but you can never be assured an absolute over time in a relationship.

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    • It's true - starting with all the things that make a person feel happy is no guarantee that they will last.

    • What can last is your love and attention to those things that change. It is easier to change with him than it is to do so alone. When he reciprocates, a relationship begins.

    • "If" should probably be a key word in there!

  • Never understood the whole common interest bit. Not trying to bang bros.

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    • You want your life partner to have some common grounds, such as a bit of a bro thing,
      Like if she were to just let loose her fartbox, you can be like. BREH, check this one out!
      or vise versa, if you made a manwich, and she made a better one, you'd both be fat. together. <3

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    • Damn we have to spend our free time together now. Fuck that shit.

    • It's good to have things in common the you like to do together if you plan to be married (or why the hell would you marry) and things you like to do apart (tends to make your rounded and bring something fresh back to the relationship). My x and I had chemistry but not friendship. Kidding aside (looks sternly at @dudeman) some common interests are important IMHO - which took nearly two decades of marriage to form.

  • I would say to just let go of whatever idea you have of how they are going to be. When its right, you'll both know.

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  • I voted for option "C"

    Sexual attraction and chemistry are almost crucial. A sense of humor is a great trait to have. Common interests makes conversations easier and more enjoyable. I can think of anything "other" than financial stability I care LESS about.

    Financial stability is ideal, but it's so hard to make it in this economy. I can't penalize for someone for not having much money.

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    • Stability would be more of good money habits and reliable income of some kind.

    • Anonymous, you can have great money habits AND a reliable income, and still be financially unstable. Trust me, I've seen it several times. I used to work with a guy who worked 40 hours a week or MORE every single week. He even worked his vacation-pay weeks to make double money. He's STILL not financially stable. He was also cheap and paid his bills when he could.

      Of course, that's just one example but it happens all the time.

  • Partner who will truly love you and not just use you and say good-bye!

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  • I wouldn't say "give up" but find the right balance. Kinda like this

    i230.photobucket.com/.../equalizer07.gif

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  • I voted E because I just wanted to see the answers, but am surprised and the results so far. I have been through a failed marriage and the humor and chemistry didn't save the day. I'd say you'd better get along in the day to day. That's the most important and what I've been trying to focus on in my new relationship. ... still gotta have chemistry though.

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    • Chemistry is what feels good at first, despite not helping relationships last. It's tough to negotiate on, despite possibly being necessary to live without.

    • Are you saying it's possible to love a SO without chemistry? I'd need to think about that one. I agree that it is something often front loaded in a relationship, but the good relatioships I see that are enduring have an ongoing chemistry. Without it, you are only friends, right? I think the marriages like that often end as well - though perhaps they end the most equitably. Friendship and chemistry - both seem pretty important.

    • A lot of dating advice says so. Or at least to not expect a lot of it. I'm not an expert, but it seems to make sense.

  • haha women need to stop looking for money, they are fiends for the cash!
    i am glad i am 18 and girls don't care about that as much but my brother has it rough...

    A women will date a man solely because he has wealth...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iyeUcFKRv4

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    • Some women - but they are usually trading on a guy's strong attraction vs. their own weak or non existent attraction.

      In this poll, stability simply means the ability to take care of themselves. It becomes a priority to both partners with age, as financial problems lead to marital problems. Which do you choose in the poll?

    • i chose common interests, i love when my partner does her own things, it allows a couple to still be individuals while being together

      And yeah sorry for the generalization of women wanting money but my brother is having a really rough time, so i kind of take this a littlepersonally

  • Getting along personality and mentality wise, similar enough morals and outlook, trust, sexual attraction and >>strong<< sexual and affection compatibility are some things I find really important. I'm not sure what I'd give up. Having a job in a sense of humor are nice too.

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    • It's definitely a difficult dilemma, but common.

    • What's difficult? Choosing what to give up? Yeah it probably is.

    • This I find to be very correct.

  • Sum one who is nice, caring, and respectful is all that matters. No excuses.

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  • This is an amusing question.

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  • Of course Financial Stability. I got enough money. Other things are very vital in relationship.

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    • Stability isn't wealth - it's the ability to take care of their debts and spend/save wisely.

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    • The very wealthy do have more wiggle room on this one.

    • Yeah I played it a bit unfairly. But the truth is truth for me. :)

  • for me it's the selfishness... I mean you need to give up some of your time/things for yourself... and give that time/things with your romantic relationship... you should also consider the value of give and take in any kind of relationship...

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    • That's a must, even when (often inevitably) also giving up one of the above. :). Sounds like you're on the right path.

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    • @brutaladvicsir Fully agreed, Thanks for explaining and also making me even more aware.
      Some need to devote more time to them self Cause they are too attending and giving a lot. Balance is needed, And being too attentive and devoting too much of your time is in fact upsetting the balance. But just the other way around we can be too selfish, but we can also be too unselfish. Someone might say, no you can never be too unselfish, Give and you shall receive. Smiles, Maybe, maybe we should give more instead. Maybe its just our ego that says i am giving too much and that i should be more selfish. But don´t be a doormat. I think everybody should have high selfesteem and selfworth, Be confident and expect to be treated equal and well. And don´t manipulate others with emotions or whatever can be used. Time to our self is good.

    • Hi Sir @kingalex very well said... thank you for adding more helpful advice... I do hope everyone can find their true love and maintain a healthy, wealthy, and balanced relationship... God Bless us all... :)

  • Depends on who you're asking, doesn't it?

    Men and women have our own weaknesses. We're different.

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    • What about you personally?

  • Financial Stability. If she's not sexy, entertaining and fun to spend time with, it won't last.

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  • Ego, give up your ego and share with your partner.

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  • Common interests sine its really unlikely you two will have everything in common.

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  • Financial stability for me

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  • Sexual freedom. That's what I give up when I commit to one partner.

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  • Nothing. I will not give up a damn thing for anyone.

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  • Good personal hygiene habits !!!

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  • 1. Reflect on what drew you together.
    2. Try breaking your routine.
    3. Determine if your past is impacting your present.
    4. Recognize your fears of intimacy.
    5. Unilaterally disarm.

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    • Often, though, only one person instigates the relationship and the other just goes along.

  • Ohhh to GIVE UP on... Crap I saw I read the question wrong just after I voted

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    • Ahh, which would you vote for if you had a re-do?

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    • At 17, it isn't an issue. :). When you get older and need to live together or have a family, it unfortunately does.

    • God if I could only stay 17 for the rest of my life... Life is so easy right now

  • Common interests 😊

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  • If you want a good girl you might have to give up on money you should get a good job so you don't have to worry about how much she's making lol

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    • Even if you do, make sure she's smart about money and doesn't drive you into debt. :)

    • This is true

  • Love. A man with a brain won't fall for it.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 19

  • Shit, I meant to vote Sense of Humor and I voted Common Interests instead. Sorry, I messed up your poll ;_;

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  • Common interests for sure. Everyone's different and you can have 100 things in common, but there will always be different interests and traits. I don't even consider them when I'm dating, I like to find out and appreciate their unique interests and who knows, I might take it up!
    Financial stability shouldn't come into dating. You shouldn't rely on someone else's wage, earn your own and make yourself financially independent. If they want to move out with you, they need to get an income, not live off you.

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  • I don't think you should really give up anything. It is important to compromise. People think they need to give up something in order to be with someone and next thing you know, you don't know yourself anymore or you start to lose yourself. The only thing I see myself giving up is just being by myself or with friends all the time but I don't have those right now anyway but for those that do it seems to be a major issue.

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  • I don't want to be dependent on his economy anyway, so I will have my own money. That is the least important.

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  • I think that sexual attraction and chemistry kind of applies to some of these. If you have chemistry with a guy you're likely to have some similar interests, and you obviously find them appealing. I love when I get to know a guy and we just get along great and we click. At least with a current crush now, we have common interests, and he has a great sense of humor that always makes me laugh.
    I guess it could vary from person to person.
    I am a little surprised to see financial stability as one of the top selections though.

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  • Don't give up anything.

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    • Of course that's ideal, but not common. Which would you choose if you have to?

    • Um either financial stability or common interests I suppose.

    • @ Prettygurl12 Agree with you,
      @ Asker So don't give up on anyone

  • I picked common interest because you're not going to have absolutely everything in common and some of the things that are different you may love about that person. But think something you could also give up on is them not having kids because the way things are going now a lot of people are going to have kids before they get married. I found myself liking a guy with a kid and we're still seeing how things are going.

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  • perfection:)

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    • No dodging the hard question! :P

      If you had to choose, what would it be?

    • I don't think that I could give up any of the above. I have given up though my sense of what it means to be clean. We live together and he tends to be a slob. So I have bathrooms to clean (which is hard cause he is a man) I have all of his dishes to put in the dishwasher etc etc etc... So I gave up my woman's sense of tidiness for this slob. And I love him!!

  • I don't know why women always want funny guys. They're not clowns. If you want to laugh watch a funny movie. He does have to be easy going but not exactly funny. He's not they're for your entertainment you know? It would be nice if u had a funny guy but that shouldn't be a reason to not date someone.

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  • Too hard! A can't pick one... Tried not much interests in common and didn't work.

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  • I said financial stability. I need all of the other things.

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  • Never look for perfection. It does not exist. Never try to change a person. If you do not love them as is and cannot accept their flaws, move on.

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  • I don't think that economy is that important as long as we're happy. And common interests has never been that appealing to me either

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  • I didn't give up anything. What I found was that I needed a lot of self reflecting, n I had to make a lot of chances of my own, not for a man but for me, I'm a better and happier person for it.. After that things just started falling into place

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    • Every relationship requires compromise - and usually not just on small things. Maybe yours was something not covered above?

  • Ego
    vote e

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  • Common interests. So what he likes different activities. Make sex the common one. And it's ok if the person you're with doesn't improve your financial situation so long as they don't make it worse. You can do bad all by yourself.

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    • Haha. For sure. Stability, in this case, means just that. Not wealth, but taking care of themselves.

  • I say financial stability because that has nothing to do with a genuine connection to someone.

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  • Intelligence

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    • That's a unique one so far.

    • Er thanks? I just prefer a guy who can keep up with me in a conversation and can prove that he ain't dumber than a box of rocks.

    • So you don't want to give up intelligence?

  • I'd say financial stability. It's getting harder for people my age in my area to get jobs and I can't expect people my age to have all the cash in the world after paying for their rent, cars, school and supporting their parents. Most of the guys I dated only had minimum wage jobs and almost always had to support their families with the money they made. Which means I wasn't exactly a pampered girlfriend. Which I was fine with but ideally I would like to be taken care of but that's what I'm willing to give up on.

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    • Stability would be getting those bills paid. :)

    • You're right. Then I guess I would go with common interests. We can find/create our own common interests when we begin our relationship.

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