Does a guy need to withold his attention to keep a girl interested?

I've told a few people here that I'd love to find love and make a girl happy. I've asked plenty of questions about being a good boyfriend. But guys have told me that girls will walk all over me, use me or get bored of me.

They say that if I appear to be too affectionate, most girls will just move on to a tough guy as they like to turn a tough guy soft.

So, should I withold my attention and affection in order to maintain a woman's interest?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Knowing what you're talking about when you say affection, I think you should be fine if you find the right girl. Of course some may get bored or use you, but some won't either - you just have to find the right girl. But as Flourish said, it's best to bring it on gradually - too soon will freak her out and make her think you're much more invested in the relationship than her.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Become more affectionate gradually. It's a delicate balancing act, but letting things ramp up naturally is the way to go. Follow her cues. Be too hot right away and she'll think you're clingy. Be too cold and you'll seem like a d*ck. Would you please think about my questions (see my profile)? Thank you!


What Guys Said 1

  • Yes and they are correct generally speaking. They may say they want a nice guy but clearly they don't as shown in their actions. Do you have exceptions, of course. Girls are grown up with makeovers and all. They like to change a guy in what he does. They call it usually sh*t tests. They ask questions or nag, or do whatever and see what you do. Tom Leykis talks about this, it's called compromise in his youtibe videos. I leaned a lot from listening and it's true. When you don't give a chick attention they go crazy. I was in my entrepreneurship class and I was in a group of 4, 3 girls and myself. I was nice, dependable and did all the work. No one was really talking to me and doing work. I had enough and decided not to do anything one day. Then after a while they started to look at me and one complemented my shoes and started to ask me questions. These guys are right and I just shared a real life situation to back it up. Listen to them

    • So I should just ignore girls and make them 'do the work'?

    • You should go out on dates with them. Don't look desperate and flock to them like the other guys will be doing at the bar. Them seeing you not do that will attract them to you. You buy a few drinks and talk. Then go and get laid. Once it's over you leave and repeat cycle with someone else. That's how you get laid. If your looking for a relationship then same procedure except maybe the drinks or just leaving her.

    • So yep