Why won't he start a conversation with me?

It's always me being the one to start all of the conversations and he told me that I don't annoy him and he likes talking to me, but I don't understand why he won't start a conversation. We seem to have pretty good conversations too so do you guys know why he won't? And how often should I text him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's probably super shy, and clueless how to be a man.

    Maybe his family isn't one that encourage him to approach people and initiate conversation. Maybe he's just afraid.

    I know of many guys who are really good conversationalists and great at listening, but because of being scared etc, they end up not daring to start a conversation incase they bore the girl or scare her off.

    (probably a reason why many girls end up getting fed up of 'nice guys' and the next man that talks to they, BAM relationship... I know some girls do this to 'SHOW' the 'nice guys' what to do to get girls like herself. Said 'nice guys' still don't get it though, cos they're oftentimes cowardly idiots. I was once like that too.)

    Best thing to do is start a conversation with him, listen VERY INTENTLY and PRETEND TO BE SUPER INTERESTED in whatever the crap he has to say. Get a few other girlfriends to do the same shit for him in 1 on 1 type conversation, don't do it in a group.

    Basically some positive psychology study conducted on men who were crap with women found that when these men were exposed to 'interested and sexually attractive women' for 12 minutes, consecutively for 6 times, and then again another set of 6 times 12 minutes the next day... something in them changed and they became great with women for the rest of their lives.

    How often should you text him? Less is better.

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What Guys Said 8

  • If it's something long distance, I suggest you try to find someone else to talk to. If you know the person, you should confront them in person. There is a possibility that this guy is just one of those guys who is really bad at getting back to people and probably wouldn't even have friends or talk to people if he wasn't so good friendly/charming/easy to get along with, etc... I know I myself am like that. (not to sound egotistical.. I'll admit, I have a really bad habit and I'm even pretty close to losing friends because of it sometimes. sadly though, chances are, he just isn't interested enough to keep things going with you. He might not know how to tell you, and hell, he might even like you a lot as a person... but sometimes people are just looking for specific things. (and no, I'm not suggesting sex) some people look for specific people and just want specific things. Don't take that personally though! There are other people to talk to, and you deserve someone who is just as interested in you as you are in them 100% of the time! Go talk to that guy in person. If he is just some guy across the country, go and try finding a guy closer. You won't get left hanging in person, so try to make a closer, more intimate, and especially, a more mutual relationship.

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  • He expects for you to be the one to make the convos happen cuz that's how it's been. Don't start any convos for 48 hrs and by the third day he should be checking up on you. If he doesn't it means he likes you but on a small scale where he's unfazed if it ends

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  • If he says he likes talking to you, then trust me, he does. Men and women are just psychologically wired differently, and that is a scientifically studied and proven fact of life. We think differently and generally look at the world differently and handle things differently. It could be that he simply doesn't know what to say. Many guys simply aren't very graceful at starting conversations. For example, I don't start many myself, but am happy to keep one going an talk for hours. If could be that he simply prefers that you start them and by now even expects you to. Tell him how you feel and maybe he'll make an effort in the future.

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  • He's probably just shy. I wouldn't read too much into it. When he does not acknowledge you, Then you might want to re evaluate the situation.

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  • He doesn't start conversations because he doesn't know what to talk about. My conversation starters consist of worldly events, politics and of course asking how whoever I'm talking to day is going. Also I'm just a good listener. If a girl like sports/music/Jeeps/WalkingDead/Supernatural/SonsofAnarchy all are a HUGE plus!!! As for texting thats just personal preference. I always ranked #1. face to face conversation #2 Talking on the phone #3 Texting Maybe im just old. Cheers.

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  • It seems he gets blown away every time he sees you

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  • Just doesn't want to be desperate most likely, or doesn't know how to start a conversation. You can text him whenever you want. It doesn't mean he'll reply but at least you took a shot, right?

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  • Text him every couple of days, he just is scared to start off convos but probably likes you.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Try what GeoffryCrayton wrote. His is the best opinion thus far.

    1) keep initiating the conversation and don't think about it again
    2) stop initiating the conversation and see what happens, if he comes to you/initiates a conversation, then you know he is interested. If he doesn't, you have your answer.

    also, teenagers are so fickle. The way I was as a teenager, is so far from who I am now. If the tables were reversed, and a guy always spoke to me first and then stopped. I would never have initiated the conversation because I was so shy. Now, you can't keep my mouth shut! lol.

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  • The same thing is happening to me! He just never starts the conversation but when I do he doesn't seem annoyed. I was pretty sure he just doesn't want to talk to me and just does it because he's nice but then I overhead my brother saying that he (my brother) isn't the texting type. He said that if people don't text him he won't because he just forgets. He said it's nothing personal and that he realises now that it does kind of send the wrong message. He said a girl that was interested in him thought he wasn't and just stopped texting him because of that. But he's like that even with his friends so I guess that's why your guy won't start a conversation with you.

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  • May be he feel a bit shy to start a conversation its ok you can text him whenever you are free or if you want him to start a conversation first thn you dont text him and see what will he do!! :)

    if he really likes you then ofcourse he will text you first :)

    All da best

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  • stop starting the conversation.. see what he does then.

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    • That won't do anything if he's shy. The op hasn't clarified what type of guy he is but shy ones need the help for a bit.

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    • True but how long has she known him? How shy is he? Some guys are so shy they require hit on head before they see it as their confidence is low and if she doesn't show interest at all or does an about face that can really hurt him. Depends on which type and how long and all. All info the op hasn't given. Of course the decision is ultimately hers on what she decides to do. All we can do is advise.

    • yeah exactly she didn't mention what he's like so we can't make assumptions based on nothing lol but yeah it is up to her :)

  • I can totally relate to this! don't worry he's just shy and maybe not used to... But don't worry coz once you guys get along well he'll initiate the convo you'll just wait and see.

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  • Just keep being the one to start the convorsations, there's no problems with it.

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  • He could be shy. If he's told you he likes talking to you. .. Then you are fine. Shy guys can take some time and plenty of strong hints you like them before they will take over...

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