Did he have any feelings for me at all?

Me and this guy met in November. We were going on dates, and we had sex. He just he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. In the beginning he even said "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize" He texted me every day, told me he likes me a lot. We would hang out without having sex. He talked about meeting parents and maybe taking me to his best friend's wedding in May. He always holds my hand, and he called me his girlfriend to the waitress at one restaurant. When I was studying at Starbucks one night he came out to see me, no sex. one day he was acting distant and I went crazy texting him 50 times. he told me he was done. we went a week without talking and then we grabbed lunch 2 weeks ago. he paid, and we didn't have sex. The next day I invited him to my new years eve party, and he declined. he then told me he's not looking for a relationship. I asked him if there were feelings and he said "I did have feelings" and he said "Idk what I want and I dont want to lead you on." Then I asked if this was my fault and he said "it definitely isn't you" Then we ended up talking about meeting up to have sex and hang out. Before we met up he seemed hesitant and told me that he doesn’t want me throwing this in his face that all he wanted from me was sex. He also told me he doesn’t want me thinking this is anything more than what it is. We ended up meeting up to have sex and then we went to lunch. During lunch he said “you’re the best." Last week I asked him if he wanted to meet up to have sex and he said "can't have class" then I said "when can you" he said "idk shay in class can't talk" then I asked if he still wanted to have sex in general, and he didn't answer. Hours later I apologized for asking and he said "it's ok babe.” That was 2 weeks ago, and I haven’t heard from him since.

1. Was he using me for sex the whole time or did he have feelings for me?
2. Did he not want a relationship in general or did I do smoothing wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Was he using me for sex the whole time or did he have feelings for me?
    - no since you often didn't have sex

    2. Did he not want a relationship in general or did I do something wrong?
    - I think he wasn't ready for a relationship.

    the moment you said you started dating a guy who was in a 7 year relationship a month after that relationship ended the siren went off. after 7 years of dating, marriage, etc no person (man or woman) is ready for a relationship. he probably felt like he wanted one or at least companionship but it is nearly impossible to be truly ready to date someone after having been in a relationship for 7 years... or even 1 or 2 years for that matter

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What Guys Said 3

  • So:

    He told you in the beginning - "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize"
    But reading your question, i see the word "sex" over and over again. You used it 11 times. Maybe he didn't like that almost everything is about sex. Just read your question again and you will see what i mean.

    On the other hand - "He just he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before."
    Seven years. I don't know how old he is but I'm guessing that equals more than 1/4 of his life. And only a month has passed. How can you expect him to know exactly what he wants after such a long relationship? I find it hard to believe that he has already forgotten about his ex. If you want a real relationship with him you need to think about other things. It's not just sex. Be there for him as he will be for you when you need it. If you're only in for the sex, then keep doing what you're doing. (Didn't mean to sound harsh, just expressing my opinion the best i can)

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  • it wasn't you thats the important part, he might of been planning just to use you for sex and then wanted a relationship but freaked out and bailed on that idea. you did nothing wrong, i think he was trying to figure out what he wanted.

    if he did just use you than you deserve a better man, people who just use other people for sex are usually mean and insensitive jerks. someday you'll find the right guy :)

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  • Iam analysing __ wait for my answer

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What Girls Said 3

  • In my opinion, I really just think he's being true to his word and just doesn't want a relationship or isn't looking for a relationship right now so he needs his space. I think the whole "went crazy on him 50 texts spam" could have freaked him out which might have made him realize that you guys are going too fast, triggered him to want to be a little more distant from you, and got him thinking that he isn't ready for a relationship. Seven years is a really long time to be in a relationship, a serious one at that, and he really hasn't had time to heal. My best advice to you is to give him some space and avoid at all costs the sex hook ups because its confusing you and confusing him and just making this situation harder than it needs to be. Maybe (as immature as this sounds) try waiting till he initiates a conversation first or if it bugs you that bad do small check in's with him every once and a while (1 to 2 weeks); ask him how he's been what he's up to lately and if you really miss him and feel like you NEED to see, ask him if he wants to catch a movie, maybe get some dinner small things like that. Play some hard to get and if he's feeling it hell play along. Hopefully this helps but just all in all just try to not be clingy, get to attached, and give him his space in order to figure out what he wants and later on what you want. Goodluck :)

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  • I think he did care and liked you but a 7 year relationship is hard to get over. I think he probably felt like he was leading you on and backed away many times. He probably likes the comfort he feels from being with a girl (you). Also if you do panic or worry he's not into you, you never text him 50 times. Stay calm.
    Now I also don't think that he was after the sea only. But you shouldn't have offered it either. Let him be more interested in you were you can tell that he's into you and cares about you.
    From what you said and the way he acted seems like he did like you but he just needs some time for himself. Don't text him and if he does text you -no sex! Meet up for lunch or a movie but try not to have sex.

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  • Seems like he didn't have feelings

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