Should I confront my boyfriend about going to Seattle without telling me?

So last night I went out for my friends birthday and while I was there I saw one of my boyfriends friends that I had met just the week before and I haven't heard from my boyfriend since Wednesday his phone has been going straight to voicemail without even ringing so I thought that maybe his friend would know what was going on or had maybe heard from him since they are in the same class so I went up to his friend and told him who I was his friend recognized me from the week before and said that my boyfriend had told him just yesterday that he was going to go to Seattle for the weekend and come back on Sunday so should I go confront my boyfriend about this when he gets back? could really use the advice please.

Thanks

  • Yes confront him when he gets back tomorrow
    74% (20)74% (14)74% (34)Vote
  • No don't confront him
    26% (7)26% (5)26% (12)Vote
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Updates:
Hey thanks everyone I finally got a text back from him I guess he was a bit upset with me for going to his house last week as when I asked was wrong he asked me what me and his mom had talked about that day he seems to be a bit upset still but agreed that we should talk and said he was busy but promised he would talk to me later its not all fixed yet of course since we still have to really talk but it is a start and thats good enough for me.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I do not get why people are being so rude. You are his girlfriend and haven't heard from him. You have all the right in the world to ask him why he went. You did the right thing, you were worried and ran into his friend so you asked a question any sane person would and he told you what was up. If my boyfriend went MIA and I couldn't reach him I would be messaging his best friend and ask him if he knows anything. It is a normal human reaction to worry about the one's you love and wonder why they do the things they do.

    So don't listen to these people and just ask him. You deserve to know.

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    • I know I was wondering why most people are being rude its not like I haven't tried to contact him and just be patient and wait a bit for him to call/text me I would consider our relationship serious by now as we usually see each anywhere from every other day to everyday and when we hang out/spend time together we end up spending all of 5+ hours if not stay the night together sometimes only a couple hours depending on the day but still we have already said I love you (I`m not big on the word up till recent mind you) and he was the one who said it to me first we seem to get through everything that hits us just fine plus in about 11 days we will have been together for 5 months when he first started showing interest I told him I didn't date and he said well I guess we will see if I can change that and then continued to try with me till I agreed I would be official with him before he wasn't good at telling me this kind of stuff like being busy or when his trip was but has gotten much

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    • I agree with you. It's good to set expectations for each other. But she should try to approach from an objective stand point.

      It's possible he was doing something for you or for eachother. Good luck. If he reacts weird then consider your options then. Let him know that it hurts you. But you won't let him control or miniapulate you.

    • What do you mean by he could be doing something for me? and true I will make sure I make it clear that I am not trying to nor will I control or manipulate him thanks

What Guys Said 8

  • Confront maybe not, but ask yes. But if he refuses to tell, then yes, switch to confront midway. Not telling you could be an oversight or blunder, but deciding not to tell you the reason why he did that, even when you asked him directly, yes that's being rude of him now.

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    • Yes I agree it is rude of him I can't think of any reason for him to do that but you are right I will ask and if he refuses to tell me then I will switch to confronting him his phones was on today but no answer or anything its now back off but his friends did mention he had another exam tomorrow so I will have to wait and see we are at the same school so I might try to see if I can find him or simply wait by his car to talk with him as I don't know what else I could do since I would rather not have to go to his house again thanks the advice is helpful I will give it a try

  • who the hell do u think u are u are not his freaking wife and may be he was busy not that you are his boss and he needs to say everything to you... one of the biggest reason men get annoyed at women like you is because of your constant nagging some times people need some privacy and their space ... , he should have told you about his trip provided you were his wife else it hardly matters

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    • Yes I know that but he could have simply told me as usually he does thats why I found it odd that he didn't say anything., as it is we already talked thanks

  • you're not his wife

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    • No but I just don't think its right to disappear without saying a word if he could tell his friends surely he could have told me but also good point thanks

  • I don't see how it is a big deal. If you really care, just ask him calmly why he didn't invite you or tell you.

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    • Well he knows I don't have a passport and he was going there because his mom and sister live there so I guessed why I wasn't invited which is fine but yeah his phone is on again or at least was he has it off now but haven't heard anything from him yet since he got back today I was hoping he would answer but apparently he has an exam tomorrow is what his friends said so who knows I guess but for sure I am just gonna calmly ask him why he didn't tell me about it I hope I`ll run into him at school so I can just ask him and thanks :)

  • You shouldn't confront him! Just play bit cool and ask why the phone was going to voicemail. Wait until he either tells you the truth or lies, then you know he is hiding something. Think people think damn.

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    • Well he's back from Seattle now his phone was on and he has clearly checked his voicemail since he can get new voicemails now where as before he couldn't get any new ones but he still hasn't answered I ran into his same friends again who mentioned he had another exam today I`m not asking him to do much just sending a quick text telling me whats going on would be nice about now but yes I will try to play it cool a bit more but what if it gets to a week or just past a week? thanks

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    • *sighs* *facepalm*

    • What? sorry I just don't know what to think I`m getting so many people saying so many different things about this to me that I just don't know how I should feel right now

  • No, if he wants you to know what he is up to he will tell you.

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    • True but its not really right to just disappear

  • Yes confront him if he truly loves you he would be more respectful

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    • Yeah I`m thinking of waiting for him after school today or tomorrow so we can talk thanks

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    • Sure I`ll message you on here

    • Thanks

  • Well, why does he HAVE to tell you where he's going?

    You could, but I think you'd be making more drama out of something simple

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    • Hmm good point and he doesn't have to tell me but he told he's friends and not me I guess it just makes me wonder why everyone was told but me

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    • True but its also just out of character for him as he just always tells me this kind of stuff even if I don't ask him

    • But never know I guess

What Girls Said 4

  • Honesty is the best policy.

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    • So does that mean you think I should confront him about it? and yes I agree when you are dating someone you should just be honest about this kind of stuff thanks

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    • He can't understand you if you don't tell him what you want. Guys don't know what you're thinking.

    • Yeah true but he once had to go to Seattle cause his mom had an accident and she lives there he left without saying anything because he didn't know he wouldn't be able to text when he got there it was a whole week till he got back and after that I told him to please tell me whats going on from now on when he plans on being gone for a long time he has improved and been doing so ever since up till now

  • no dont worry maybe he tell you when he is back dont worry too much.

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    • Yeah maybe I will try not to worry thanks :)

  • Confront is a strong word. I'd ask him about it for sure. You can't be that close if he goes away for a few days and doesn't tell you.

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    • Yes it is a strong word I guess at the time I was just using the first word that came to my mind to explain it but who knows whats going on I will ask him tho for sure thanks

  • I never ask my SO where he is going to be, I'm not a paranoic stalker, who wants updates every day.

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    • I am not a paranoic stalker or whatever that even means its just that when you are with someone you don't just have your phone going straight to voicemail for almost 3 days when you tell your girlfriend you will call her in a hour he knows I am ok with him having his own life and things to do but the only thing I ask is that he doesn't disappear on me for 3 days to Seattle at that since he knows that if he just said something I would simply say have fun and I will talk to you when you get back I don't really need someone being just out right rude tho

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