Why is it so difficult for me to find a girlfriend?

I dont want to sound arrogant, but i do think i am a pretty good catch. I mean starting with myself: I do think i am good looking, maybe i do need to loose some pounds, but overall i think i am good looking. I get hit on by gay guys and even a few women as well. Personality wise, i am a friendly person, i love to laugh, i am intelectual as well, i love politcs and things like that, as well as caring and romantic. Also i dress well, i have a good job in an excelent place, i love to play sports, travel, i am from a very good family. I am confident about myself.

I don't even have high standards either, i have liked girls that other likes wouldn't think about dating.

I don't know what i could be doing wrong.

Any advice maybe?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Even the greatest players strike out ;)

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    • good point ;)

    • Thanks ;)

    • I was always afraid of rejection until I found that it only humbles me and makes me not care anymore.

What Girls Said 11

  • I have the same problem. I think I'm good looking, kind, smart and a decent person, I always try to be. But it's so hard for me to find a boyfriend, someone who wants something real. Every guy I meet just wants to have sex with me because of how I look I guess. But none of them want to get to know me for me. A couple of them I actually liked a lot but they didn't like me. And i think other guys are intimidated to talk to me. I kind of think it's due to our generation. Most people are just into partying a lot and sex. And there's a lot of people out here just giving sex up for free so there's no need to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think the only thing you can do is just try to be a decent person, be friendly to people everywhere you go because you never know where you'll meet your partner at and just pray to God that he sends you a decent person. You can also try going to events or going up to females that you find attractive and giving them a nice compliment and starting a small conversation. A lot of people see a pretty girl and think she's taken or stuck up but in reality she could be single and very kind. It's that way for me at least. But I'm sure you will find someone. Just stay hopeful, positive and keep a open mind. =)

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    • you sound like your talking to the wrong guys babe. x

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    • Hey guys I'm the same situation too. Let me join in! She gave some great advice. I have found that a lot of the girls that I talked to were fake and I'm real. Anyways, it's always good to hear there are still good women out there. I'm sure she will be worth wading through all the garbage for.

    • yeah absolutely

  • I think that no matter how hard it is to accept it, we always know what we are doing wrong. And if we really don't, then try to ask someone that you dated or a very close friend, they will tell you in a wink because is obvious and sometimes we don't even see it.

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    • To be honest i don't what is true and i get a lot of conflicting device. Some people tell me to be very aggressive, other people tell me to build rapport or wait until the girl likes you... its confusing to be honest.

    • It is confusing. Maybe you are a really authentic person and that scares everyone that is fake and has no good intentions. That also happens, I would say that if you feel thar way then you will find the right person when you aren't expecting it, this person will value who you are and will complement you, you just need to be patient, I know is hard, I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 26

  • Maybe you come off too strong? Or you simply sound arrogant?

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    • No i am not arrogant: What do you mean exactly by coming too strong?

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    • hmmm can you expand on that? I still don't understand

    • If you're too willing to do things with a girl. Or, i. e,
      You: Hey
      Girl: Hello
      (Main introductions are done)
      You: Wanna go out?
      Too fast and forward. Possibly a smile, and "I really enjoyed our chat. Would you like to get coffee sometime?" That sounds less desperate, and more cool and chill. I think that may be what @Account meant.

  • Sometimes it's all about timing. And timing is a bitch.

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    • Timing? How so?

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    • I see your point, but i don't like to think that way. I like to have control of my own destiny. I personally don't believe in coincidences, luck or anything like that.

    • Everyone likes control. But sometimes we can't have it.

  • Look in new places, don't being up how "good" you are in every area-- it does make you sound arrogant and conceded. No offense.

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    • New places like where?

    • Well if you look in bars-- stop. Look in bookstores, hobby stores and hell-- even malls work great. I've been a wingman to a bro of mine and we were walking through a store, passing dressing rooms when a girl came out to show an outfit to her mom-- I told him to make a move and now they've been dating for eight months.

      And also stop being conceded and self centered. Don't say shit like "your standards aren't high" and you've "considered girls other guys wouldn't" that makes women feel like shit. Don't make the girl you're looking at feel like you're settlig or pitying her. it's douchey. Really really douchey.

  • Maybe you are too confident or you look down on others or seem arrogant. I wouldn't be able to tell unless I met you.

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  • Everyone's depressed or taken. Fall in love with someone from another country?

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  • You just need to be yourself. You attract more with honey than you do with vinegar

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    • ehh good point, less stress right?

  • What did you do in order to find the partner? How did you approach the girl you want?
    Did you put yourself out there?
    many questions

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    • hmmm i don't know what i did or didn't do that is the problem.

  • If you like a girl but you think her so beneath you that others wouldn't even consider dating her , she's going to dump you and date a guy who thinks she's awesome.. duh. Also perhaps you're effeminate? Why doesn't it work out with the women who hit on you?

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    • i have never tought of girls beneath me, and well about other guys not dating them, it is not me that says that, these are friends and colleages. And well about other girls that hit on me not working out: it is usually me not knowing that they like me, me missing on opportunities because of thinking of other things that i shouldn't do, or i might just simply not like them.

  • I love how you say " I get hit on by gay guys and even a few women as well." Lol. Maybe you look feminine? Also, maybe you are too confident and a little self-absorbed? I don't know you, but that is what I gathered.

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    • femenine? Lol naaaahhhh i dress like most well groomed guys these days.

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    • hahaha no i don't

    • Phew. *Wipes forehead
      Thats good. Guys who dress like that with super gelled hair look gay to me haha.

What Guys Said 9

  • First off, dont listen to Virulent. Just the common bored 13 year old troll with nothing to do with his life. Anyways, your doing nothing wrong. Its just not your time yet. But you can speed up that time by putting yourself out there more, go to public places and make it a priority to talk to girls and get their numbers.

    Its all about putting yourself out there, and if you are as good of a catch as you say you are, it will come sooner than you think. I've seen some of the ugliest people get the prettiest of girls, all because they have confidence, and they put themselves out there. It doesn't take much man, you can go out right now, and get a girl in seconds, its that easy. Just talk to em.

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    • What do you mean exactly by putting myself out there? Do you mean to talk to random girls in public?

    • Yes! Go to the mall and start up conversations with them or something.

    • I see, that might be my problem. I personally only hit on girls on a "Safe" environment, like school, house parties, get togethers, or things like that... I personally think girls don't like public approaching, i might be wrong though. How would you approach a girl in public?

  • dont worry dude, i used to be a ladies man and get women now i can't. and i dont even know what im doing wrong or what changed, i think girls just expect way too much these days

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  • Welcome to my world buddy. Been turned down by almost every girl I have asked out. I am still single and a super virgin at age 20. While that is not too bad, the pucker factor comes in when I have a hard time finding a virgin girl to share my first time with.

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    • Let me add some more detail. The sole problem is finding a girl in the first place. It is hard to gain a perspective as to how many virgin girls I can come across if I have a hard time getting dates to begin with.

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    • for them to be dates?

    • Well often times a girl will not disclose something that personal immediately. Some are more than happy to let you know, while others see that as a private thing to share. You find out overtime. But once I find out, I immediately terminate any contact with that girl.

      The best approach I can take is date multiple girls at the same time and weed out the ones who are not until I narrow it down.

  • You get "hit" on by a few women... sooo you ask yourself why you don't have a girl friend.

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  • "I dont want to sound arrogant, but i do think i am a pretty good catch."

    And no one else does. Sucks to be you.

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  • I've gotten plenty of matches on tinder and I'm black. Try putting yourself out there more.

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  • how many girlfriends have you had by now?

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    • two girlfriends... why does that even matter?

  • at your age bro use the wealth you have acquired to pick up college chicks, like 20-22 years old
    If you want a woman around your age i suggest you use a dating site to make things really easy

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  • "I don't even have high standards either, i have liked girls that other likes wouldn't think about dating"

    You're pretentious and arrogant.

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