My girlfriend wants to have sex, but I'm uncomfortable with it?

So my girlfriend and I were discussing our relationship last night, and I told her that I'm not going to have sex with her. She wanted to, but I have a moral qualm with pre-marital sex. She said she was disappointed but that it's alright. Lately she's been VERY physical with me (trying to grind on me, French kissing, laying on me, etc.), and it's really bothering me. Any ideas on what to do?

Updates:
I wound up breaking up with her, just an FYI. She was constantly nagging me about it and arguing with me, and I was done putting up with it. I'm better off with someone else.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you explain to the reason you are holding off rather than saying 'no' maybe that will penetrate her thick skull. She clearly is not dignified or respectable towards herself. Pre-Marital sex is wrong on so many levels while some just overlooks it.

    But let go of her as soon as you can, she'd probably get her fix elsewhere.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Son you better pop the question now or dump her because when a woman turns her wiles on and focuses on a man it's damn hard for him to deny her.

    No in all honesty I get where you're coming from. I do. I'm also waiting for marriage to have sex and my boyfriend understands this. He (somewhat begrudgingly) respects this wish of mine. It's very tempting to just go for it sometimes but I can keep myself in check.

    You really need to sit her down and really get her to see your view on the topic. She doesn't fully understand it. You need to show her that it's not that you're not attracted to her. You need to explain really well your position and WHY you have that position. You need to tell her how you'd feel about yourself if you were to compromise your position and you need to make her understand.

    And if she can't then you need to do the right thing for yourself and end the relationship.

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  • As your girlfriend she should respect your wishes especially if she loves you. But getting physical after you said no it just showing that she doesn't respect it and is trying to change it. Just sit her down and talk to her again and let her know you do not want anything physical like that to happen until you are ready and if she does not respect that, there's the door don't let it hit you on the way out.

    You said nothing wrong to her, you just told her how you are feeling and she is choosing to not respect that. So you just have to give her a warning because dating you means she signed up for all your view on sex.

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  • If she wants sex and you don't want it until marriage, then you are not compatible and you should end that relationship because it will continue to be a problem. You need to date someone like-minded.

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What Guys Said 7

  • you are doing very good, i am proud of you and very glad to read that there are still some people who thinks that sex should be delayed, i know why some people don't like this idea, people who are more concerned about sex and sexual desires are not really lovers they just try to fulfill their physical needs whenever they get chances, they never get attached emotionally once they get laid with you then everything is over they try to find someone else they never last in relation they find single partner too boring their main focus is fun and being mean for satisfying their body desires, people who support sex before marriage are sex focused, pervert nature, there is nothing wrong in keeping controlled your desires for the right time, there is a right for doing everything in life, it is not always good to let your desires fly, you must know the difference between good and bad and act accordingly that's what make you a responsible citizen of your society who doesn't only think about himself that's what make us good humans, people who says just do what your heart says what is the need to control are fools, if so? A rapist would say it is my desire to rape, A theif would desire for stealing, then is it good or bad? If you say thry are doing wrong then wouldn't it be hypocrisy? Isn't it a desire or need of them? The truth is we need to keep some desires under control and must know what will be good or bad and their effects on society and our life, if we not just get busy thinking about ourself and always consider others also in our thoughts then we can make a clean society which will be free from all problems and rubbish. Also if you are sleeping with many then it reflects your character how dirty it is no matter how much you sugar coat the issue, if you are one then you have no right to call any girl a whore or slut because what you are doing? You are doing the same then how they can be different from you, so i support your decision bro.. Proud!! :)

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  • What is your reason? Are you waiting for that right person? Or because of Christ? For me... I lost it when I really didn't want to. Once you experience it your going to want more of it well for me of course... The worst/good thing is probably knowing how good sex feels...

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  • Sounds like you set her free.

    I'm sure you'll both be happier.

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  • have you ever heard of asexuality? I happen to be asexual.

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    • It's not a matter of not being sexually attracted to her (I am), but it's more of a matter of moral conscience.

  • She's eventually going to leave for someone who is willing to show her physically that he loves her.

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    • Oh, you broke up with her. She's lucky, she deserves someone who is willing to trust her enough to have sex with her.

  • Your fucked buddy!!!

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  • I would just dump her. If you want to wait for marriage that is your prerogative, but denying her desires is just plain rude and disrespectful in a relationship. You have different core values, let he go and find someone who shares the same values you do.

    I personally think waiting for marriage is really stupid, and comes from archaic religious rituals. Think about it, people were getting married at 12 in biblical times, no sex before marriage meant no sex with children. They got married at 12 and started having sex. That is when puberty kicks in an sexuality begins anyway. Now things have changed, people got smarter, and start getting married much later, much after puberty, and they hold old useless traditions because they think they have to, but religion is stupid and so is waiting for marriage.

    If it has nothing to do with religion, then forget what I just said, but I still think it is stupid to deny yourself your desires. If you don't even have desire, you might be asexual, which is totally fine too.

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    • On the contrary, I'd find that her not respecting my views towards sexuality to be rude and disrespectful. I broke up with her last night, because she was being exceedingly rude and naggy about us not having sex. I was done putting up with it, now it's over.

    • And also, if people didn't have sex before marriage, it would drastically reduce the chance of a person contracting an STD such as AIDS. Also, there are studies that show that people who have had multiple sexual partners are less satisfied with sex, and can suffer from major mental/emotional damage when such relationships are cut off.

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