I can't afford a nice gift for my boyfriend on Valentine's Day, he's expecting something, and I don't know what to do. Advice?

I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is getting me this bikini that I've had my eye on for awhile. It's $90, and I never outright asked him for it, but he has seen me post about it on tumblr and he asked me what size I would order if I were to buy it.

He's asked me twice now, "have you gotten me anything for Valentine's Day yet?" and "what are you thinking about getting me?" and I tell him not to worry about it, it's none of his concern.

We had this dumb ordeal over Christmas about me not being able to pay for a trip Disneyland even though I told him I would treat him to a trip, not specifically for Christmas, but just one day in the future in general. When I was unable to afford that, he said "at least I know you got me an expensive Christmas gift." I was so angry at the time, but I have gotten over it and he has so many other amazing qualities that I was able to over look his tactless approach to gifting.

He bought me hundreds of dollars worth of make up for Christmas, and though I really appreciate it, I wish he wouldn't have because it's not coming from a genuine place. He is very concerned with what he will receive in return and that's a really shitty outlook on gift giving.

Anyways, I'm flat broke. I can't afford a lot this Valentine's Day at all, and I know that he's expecting something. I tell him that I'm really tight on money right now, and he says "you'll make it work, you always do."

He makes it totally not fun or meaningful when holidays like this come around. I'm actually just stressed about it.

Any cheap ideas that can look not so cheap? Any idea how to avoid the passive aggressive argument that's sure to come when I show up with not a $100 gift? Please help me out. Thank you! Have a great day :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't find that he basis Anything on your relationship but material things, here, dear, and it's all about the Dead Presidents, which is telling me he doesn't love you Unconditionally, it's all based on the bottom buck Of------ How much you can do for me today and in what way.
    You have openly admitted 'He makes it totally not fun or meaningful...'It sounds like it is More like a Chore in store and nothing more and you, being 'Stressed about it,' is the One who is getting not only the short end of the stick but getting it Stuck up you... I don't find it fair to you, more like disrespectful.
    You should have set the buying boy straight that money doesn't buy happiness, that you are not Made of money. It's fine that he spends money on you, if he has it, and if he doesn't, then I am sure, you being as 'Flat broke' as you are, you would have been able to 'Over look' having a tactless approach to gifting.
    He is the one with the 'Really shitty outlook on gift giving,' and with Sweetheart's Day coming up in a few weeks, you now are sitting there, on pins and needles, scared to death of what he will say if the Gift of Giving isn't Something "You'll make it work, you always do..."
    Might I suggest a two dollar box and a one dollar card: Tell him to buy himself a Person Personality because this is what he is worth to you, and money bags and this big mouth isn't proving to be his own Wad weight in gold. You will not only feel better but you would have saved $100 dollars that you don't have, and even if you did have, he would have found fault with It, fault with You And----Another dumb dollar dollar ordeal.
    You deserve better than someone who sees you as a dollar sign. This relationship is ready for a train wreck just waiting to happen and as far as Disneyland goes... he must be in his own Dollar sign Dreamland of what a girlfriend is and a true love relationship is and it's with Mickey Mouse and Minnie.
    Good luck. xx

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What Guys Said 1

  • You got a hot friend? That would definitely clear up your gift debt. But in all seriousness gift giving is such a personal thing its no way of knowing without knowing what he likes his interest etc

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's being kind of selfish here. Expecting you to buy him nice things, not understanding your financial position... he's only thinking of himself. I bet he thinks that by getting you a nice gift, he deserves something in return. If this is how he acts every time a holiday / gift-giving occasion rolls around... well, I wouldn't last very long in this relationship.

    Anyways, gift ideas... something meaningful doesn't always have to be expensive... think back to anything he's talked about or had his eye on lately, or something unique related to one of his hobbies. Cologne's another idea, it usually doesn't cost too much.

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