GUYS, would this "intimidate" you at all?

I recently started talking to a guy about three weeks ago. We went on a date and he asked to make plans again before the date was over. Well, I then found out the next morning that one of my old friends was tragically murdered.

Obviously, I was and still am upset. Well, I told this new guy about my friend being murdered. He gave me his sympathies and we moved on from that topic. All of a sudden, the plans that were made for our next date never happened and now he's being really standoffish. I don't know what I did wrong. Because everything seemed to have went so great.

I was told by some friends that he could be "intimidated" by the fact that I still obviously have feelings for this guy who died because I'm taking it so hard. No offense to him, or to my friend who died, but HE DIED. He's not coming back. So what is there to be "intimidated' by? And the fact that I'm still trying to initiate conversation with this new guy should tell him that I'm interested.

But, he hasn't been responding to texts and I even told him, "Look, I'm not trying to bother you, but if you rather not talk to me, I'd prefer you just tell me that." His response was, "I would tell you. I'm just backed up at work right now, I'm not trying to ignore you." (He's working a turnaround and he's on nights).


Most Helpful Guy

  • To be honest if something really bad happens at the start of dating I always call it a day. Mental trauma means the other person isn't really a viable option anymore. I hung around a couple of times when I was younger waiting for them to get over it and pick things up again but I learned it doesn't work that way. I cut my losses and walk away, plenty more fish in the sea. Maybe he sees things the same way.


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What Guys Said 1

  • He is saying truth and I think he is giving you time to mourn. As he think you cared about that old friend a lot and now you will need a new friend and he is afraid you might Friend-zone him.


What Girls Said 1

  • So, he's lying to you about work. Clearly an excuse. But maybe he thinks he's doing the right thing for you by giving you some time, time to grieve time to heal, just some time. No one really wants to get into a relationship with someone who just lost a person close to them. That could be a lot of emotional baggage he's not willing to carry.