Infidelity?

well first off I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. I'm completely head over heels in love with him. I still get butterflies and all that mushy stuff. Now the commitment on his end is a little different. I don't think he actually considered me his girlfriend until probably a year ago. I've always had the suspicion that he has been seeing other people. I know he talks to other girls online and on the phone. I've read his texts, emails and online conversations and he is kinda a sleaze. I've overlooked this for a long time. out of sight out of mind basically. But recently I found out he sleep with someone else for sure in the beginning of our relationship, but granted I think he didn't consider it a "real" relationship yet. He Doesn't know I know, and I'm sure that there has been others. we have fought about this many times. He always reassures me that it doesn't mean anything and he is sorry, loves me and wants to marry me someday. But why keep doing it then? He has changed his passwords, is secretive and says I"m a crazy bitch because I have no right to go though his stuff. I'm completely open with my phone, email etc. I have nothing to hide. I have been completely faithful to him and the thought of cheating on him makes me sick. I don't believe him cause of he lies to me all the time and hasn't been faithful to me. I'm also 8 months prego now. I work and go to school full time. I cook, clean, do laundry, basically all the housewife duties. My friends refer to me as stepford wife without the actual wife title. I go out of my way to do nice things for him even though he very RARELY does the same. I do everything I and my power to make him happy. I even let him talk me into a 3some. I offered to let him see other people as long as he stopped lying to me. Now I have no desire to be with anyone else and I don't really like the thought of him doing it either but I'm trying to make this work. But he claims he is happy and doesn't want to sleep with other people. He is still talking to other girls and I found him on dating sites. So why is he doing this? He knows it hurts me and when I ask him why he says he doesn't know but I should have trust in him that he wouldn't cheat on me. He has accused me of cheating on him numerous times and every time is proven wrong. Is this guilt on his part? I don't even talk to other guys cause I don't want him to feel insecure. I'm an extremely sexual person. I love to have sex all the time so I know that its not that I don't put out. He doesn't even really seem interested in that anymore, and I get it I'm a fat cow and not as attractive as I was. But I still have feelings and needs and miss the intimacy. He says he doesn't want to sleep with me cause its weird for him but I know its cause he thinks I'm gross. How can I get him to connect with me again and help him overcome this? Why do guys do these kinds of things. Is it possible that he really does love and care for me even if he is unfaithful? Or am I just stupid? Thanks all advice is appreciated


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What Guys Said 1

  • If you had no boundaries in the beginning of your relationship, you can't hold the fact he slept with another girl over his head. I dated a girl for quite some time who I was in a very similar situation with. I did the exact same things almost to a T. Checking his phone and emails though? That's crazy. No way. If you're head over heels for him, and he's apologetic of his past, you should trust him. Why would you offer to let him see other people? You're digging your own hole. If you want him to change, and be a loyal loving guy to you, just as you are to him, there needs to be exclusivity. I don't think you're ever going to get that with him, he sounds like a douchebag.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Wow so many things I could say here,noe of them particularly constructive,but to put it simpley...You have los your self respect,he will never respect you now because you have made yourself "doormat" in his eyes.

    Your carrying his child,yes? you should be the most treasured thing in his life atm,he should be adoreing you and making you feel good-as for what you saying about being fat,its unavoidable-i put 4 stone on with my little boy lol,but he should still find you the sexiest woman on the world.

    do yourself a favour and walk away now-he is dead wrong and youve got a child to think about now and if your not happy,the child won't be either.

    This guy is a joker,and youve played along nicely,so pack it in and find your respect-betcha a score you already know all this though deep down you just don't wanna face it xx

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