Why do guys lie to me?

I met a lot of guys recently from dating sites and such and hey are not truthful about there status and I find out after we been out sometimes. Why do guys do this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Those guys are lying because many of them have a different goal than you have, and they know it, and they're trying to get what they want (which if you haven't figured out is SEX). They'll lie because they want to impress you, or make themselves seem more attractive. But the more attractive they are naturally, the more likely they're just after sex, especially when they are young. And most of them know that they're less likely to be successful if they say "not looking for a relationship - just a hot girl to bang a couple of times before I move on to the next one."

    That doesn't mean that dating sites can't be a good resource, but you have to be suspicious and you have to TAKE THINGS SLOWLY and spend a LOT of time getting to know the guy. The player types aren't going to like that in most cases - their goal is to hurry up and bang, but know that the "expert" players sometimes see this is a challenge, and will play your "taking it slow" game while they bang easy girls to pass the time.

    There ARE guys who are actually trying to find a relationship, though. Most of them are going to be much less aggressive and will be fine with taking things slow. If a relationship is what you want, that's what you have to look for.

    The really attractive guys know they can have a relationship anytime they want one, just like really attractive girls know they can have sex anytime they want to, but in both cases, that's not what they want, and they'll use their attractiveness to get what they want.

    One thing you need to remember is that you CANNOT change other people, only yourself, so don't deceive yourself into thinking that you can turn a player into a relationship guy - you'll just get burned that way.

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    • thank u mroracle. i have so many bad and sad stories like this.. i am trying to learn really i am i need to use my head more i know. but i try to chaneg and look for better guys but nothng works

    • Approach finding a boyfriend the same way you would fill an important position in a big company: filter Filter FILTER!

      If you were hiring a Marketing CEO, you wouldn't give the position to the first guy who walked in the room. Instead, you'd collect 100+ resumes, give 20 first-level interviews, 10 second-level interviews, 5 third-level interviews, and then prepare offers for your top 3 candidates (or something very similar).

      Take the same approach with guys: meet a LOT of guys, and talk to them. Most will be eliminated in 10 minutes of talking. The 20% who "pass" get a first date, and half of them get a second date, half of them get a third date, and a couple of them you start to get serious about (not at the same time, of course).

      The key, and where most girls screw up, is that they RUSH, and in particular, they get emotionally involved WAY too early. Avoid that, and FILTER, and you'll be far more successful.

What Guys Said 12

  • I'l tell you the secret, it's not men being assholes... Its you attracting the wrong men. How do you attract the wrong men you ask me? I'l tell you;

    First it's all about how you dress, how you act, and how you look. If you dress super sexy cloth then guys will be like OH SHE'S FKINGGG HOTT, i wish i can just BANG HEr!! i bet i'l have a chance to get in her pants, so i'l just get in there real quick then leave... or i'l just enjoy being with her for a while and satisfy my sex urge cause she's HOTTT. I don't know why we do that, but when we see a woman dressing really sexy (sometimes even slutty) then we kinda just objectify her and think she's down for sex right away.

    If a woman puts waaay too much make up, we kinda feel she's fake. Also here SOME men kinda think she's slutty. I know it's wrong but that's how many of us think and you can't change it.

    How to deal with it? i'l tell you. if you want a guy who want's you for who you are and be in a long relationship (I don't know if that's what you want but if you do then keep reading). First thing is first, you get rid of the guys who are after you just for sex. And the way to do that is after seeing a guy or meeting him make it very clear that u won't be having sex anytime soon, this way you'l filter out the guys who just want sex because once they know that they'l distance themselves from you and not call you again. Some will keep trying and might act that they are bothered or mad when u tell them u won't have sex but that's just an attempt of them to change ur mind so this also tells u that they might be after u for sex too. The right guy who really wants a long relationship with u will stay and might even respect u more.

    2nd, i dont know how u dress but if u do dress really sexy stuff then at least now u know what it really does.

    Good luck out there.
    By the way, I realllllly lovvvve your eyes in the profile pic. but the other pic that i can see when i click ur name i think tht's really a lot of make up.

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    • thank u. nice u r honest :)

      i like to be pretty and like have my own style. i know guys i like do like it and it is hard to stop i duno. i never thought they think its slutty.

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    • i thought guys like it when i dress sexy

    • Ofc we do, it turns us on. But as you saw in the example i gave recently, that girl lost her chance with me just because she wore like that. If that girl was looking for a long relationship with a guy then i was the guy she's looking for but she already lost me. If i would ever be with that girl, it will definitely be only for sex. I promise.

      There is a huge difference between dressing sexy, and dressing pretty. I'm after girls who dress pretty not who dress sexy.

  • As long as you didn't get hurt from the lie you're fine. It seems like you managed to catch them before things got serious so it's all good.

    Truth is, you can't stop a person from lying. But you CAN sharpen your bullshit detector, and that very much counts for something. It's the best we can do in this life.

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  • hahahha it's the internet you know... people can say whatever they want ;-)

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  • Same as women they do it cause they wana try something new and we fall victim to it for trusting stupid people we think will be real. Remember this 99.9% of today's women and men are not trustworthy they all lie and cheat there is 00.1% of people out here that still believe in a relationship a serious and honest relationship and won't lie that's why I always say stay out of dating sites mostly all people lie on those is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack just wait for the right time it will happen in real life not on a dating site or fb I learned that from experience.

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  • Depends, you could be a poor judge of character. People lie for different reasons and tell different types of lies. Dating website men can usually be catergorized: Player, Nerd, Crazy, Old, Specialist. Because if a guy is normal he's not going to need the web to get a date.
    Figure out which one the guy is and you'll know why he is lying.
    Out of those player is the one you want to avoid if your looking for a real relationship.
    All of them will lie because they are either insecure or they want sex. It's very individual why people will lie, but everyone does lie at some point or another.

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    • what's specialist?

    • Someone who is looking for marriage, but they want someone they have a hard time finding in their location. The chick could be of a race that the man finds particularly attractive or could be of a personality type or career path. It depends. Usually it's a combination of traits.

  • dating sites are the worst place to meet and talk to guys
    you need try joining a bowling league, go to a club located
    in your area , try a social group

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    • They figure if they lie to you they can get sex from you
      they are good manipulators

    • opinion owner. i dont believe they are all like that i think they are hurting or sumthng

    • i pray for you cause i been on them
      chatlines for dates and met women
      who did nothing but lie so they are all
      deal breaker ;/

  • I would have to say the same reason you lie about your age, and you pretty much lie about the way you look with all that makeup on your face. Nobody but you knows what you look like under that makeup mask you have on.

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    • im not lying the way i look it is me. why guys need to be dishonest is my point

    • oh really, so the little Kim lookin shit is really you. The Nicki manaj wanna be shit is really you too? see my point now? if you have to work that hard to not look like you, why would someone take you seriously and why would they be honest to you when you're not even being honest with yourself?

  • Because they just think of themselves and want to get in your pants.

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    • how do u know that gap? how canu tell?

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    • Just being 100% honest.

    • i guess i dont always understand what they want , anybody know a good site to get help in love.

  • people are ashamed of a lot of things they do when no ones looking.

    if they told you the truth, they wouldn't get any pussy.

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    • but dont u thnk they shud tell truth?

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    • so you pretended to like her to get her pussy?

    • i dont. i dont even cheat or have sex outside of relatinoship. yes guys lead girls on to have sex first and to see if hed wanna do it again and keep her for something more... i know it sounds messed up but girls are just as messed... so its just a way to get what they both want...

  • Whats the lies give some examples

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    • They lie about there relationship status, i met 5 guys from okcupid and pof who were like that. Some lie about there jobs. and i met guys who lie about there feelings. I think theyknow better then what they told me.

      some i can't tell in public. if you wana know private you can message me.

    • If they told u they had important job they did it to increase ur interest in them

      If they told u they're single but they're not they want sex with u only

      Lie about feelings I think it's for sex also

      In general if the guy lie too much usually he just want sex but rarely they do it for normal reason

      Example if the guy have no job and he really like the girl maybe he would lie and tell her I have job not to get her on bed but just for keep her interest high

      In the end lie is lie ,, I lied once with a girl but i was just embaarasing to tell her I have no job and she forgive me bcoz it was only to not embarass myself I didn't do it to use her at all and I was faithful and once she loved me I admit it

  • Nice fb profile you got yourself a perfect name candy doll. Once try showing guys your pic where you are using make up and trying to make yourself look natural instead of a doll. I hope you have seen movie toy Story - toys are something people enjoy and play with then don't care about what happens when toys are left out of sight.

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    • why are u hating on mwe anonymous. you can be nice and help me understand stuff to. just sayin

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    • what part of my personality they see in me think they can hurt me.. is there a good site for therapy questions. im being serious.

    • Do not know about that sweetheart but surely. I can tell you one thing stop looking on dating sites and go and look for real.

  • If guys told the truth they'd get nowhere. Women make lying necessary.

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    • how do i make it necesary. i duno.

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    • i feel so stupid that maybe i been played by him :(

    • The world is cruel, you only learn through mistakes so I wouldn't feel bad about it.

What Girls Said 3

  • Guys lie a lot, it's something you have to accept and deal with unfortunately. In terms of dating sites, it's to make themselves appear more interesting. To lie to make yourself better means more chance of a date but lying is never a good foundation for a relationship, but they don't care about that.

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    • The problem is the guys i like and attracted to act liek this

    • they won't be like this if women didn't give them interest. men who you like will be liked by other women... men you dont like won't be liked by many women.

  • maybe because they find you attractive.

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  • get to know them for a while.

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