It seems like guys don't take me seriously?

I am so confused. It seems that every guy I like, only likes me enough to hook up with me, but not for a relationship. I like to have fun, and go to parties, and bars. I like being around people, but I am nowhere near a slut, or sleep with many guys. I only slept with 2 guys so far in my life of 21 years haha. I am actually known for being the girl that doesn't "put out". I respect myself a lot, and I don't act flirty, but yet guys never take me seriously. They always say I am a "party girl", and they think I am "wild", just because a girl likes to have fun she's "wild"? She's a "partyer"? I wonder how guys think I am someone you don't take seriously? I go to school, and i am responsible. I am not slutty, or flirty. I am not easy, so why would guys think I am a slut? Or not take me seriously?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of people judge others based on what's on the outside, ie the way you dress, your hobbies, and etc. Honestly, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way so I'm sorry, but you kind of have that look a little. I'm not saying you look slutty, but you kind of have the "I want to have fun" kind of look you know? Again sorry if you feel offended or anything.

    It's good that you have your head in the right area though. That's definitely a very good thing for sure.

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    • Thank you. Sorry if I sounded like an ass, though haha. Another viable reason as to why they may do what they do may be in part to how attractive you are.

What Guys Said 8

  • If a guy thinks you're attractive but doesn't get along with you then he'd consider you a hookup.

    Pretty much being a friends with benefits is the guy's version of the friendzone, you're pretty, but you're not gf material, so you can hook up but not date.

    Also, if you're meeting these guys at parties, of course they're not going to want anything more. Guys go to parties to hook up with drunk girls, not to find potential girlfriends.

    What most guys look for in girlfriends are girls that don't party often, because to put it simply, we don't trust you. If you get drunk and meet random people every weekend, the odds are higher you'll cheat.

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  • If you want a serious relationship, parties and bars are pretty much the two worst places you could look for one. That's where you go for random hookups with drunk people.

    Also, why are you so defensive about not having sex with people? Sex is completely normal and natural, and there's nothing wrong with having sex with anyone you choose provided you're being safe and responsible about it. No guy worth a damn would look down on a woman for having had a lot of sexual partners.

    Also, aside from where you're finding these guys, whether or not people take you seriously is largely down to your attitude and mannerisms. How you carry yourself. When you speak, do you sound like you have substance? Do you have important things to discuss? And by important, I mean something outside your own life or the lives of your friends or family. Something bigger and more important than that. A cause. That's how you get taken seriously. Also, your screenname, "BrunetteBabe" is not helping.

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    • It's not that I am defensive about sex lol, I am the type that is very cautious, and I will only date guys who take me a seriously. I am not the type that can just hook up with someone. The 2 guys were boyfriends, so I was in a relationship with them. Not at the same time haha, but you get my point. I do have meaningful and thought-provoking conversations. I am not a shallow person, and I do try to engage intelligible conversations all the time. I am sometimes quiet, but other times I can be loud, and boisterous, and goofy. I stuck up for my friend when her boyfriend kept referring her to her as "my bitch", and he kept saying it, and so I jumped in and gave him an earful on how disrespectful that is. I am just a real person, if that makes any sense? lol. I am not gushy, flirty, or any of that. I am just real, I talk normally to anyone, and everyone. I am the type that is "hard to get", but it's not because I play games, it's because I need the person to gain my trust. Thanks! :)

    • Totally agree with you about not just hooking up with anyone. I need to have an emotional bond with someone before sleeping with them too. Thanks for clarifying. :)

      So perhaps seek more guys in relaxed situations? Where you can talk and listen and engage without thumping music and alcohol?

    • I do hang out alone, and talk to them. It seems that no matter what I do, I am not taken seriously lol. Thank you for commenting, and sharing your input.

  • These type of idiot guys, consider any girl that is

    1) attractive, and

    2) sociable in a party scene with alcohol,

    as a "hookup girl".

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    Not all guys are this way... you're just getting a bad draw of guys lately.

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  • Hey don't change for anyone, you're a good person so don't let anyone drag you down.

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  • Its actually really WHERE you're meeting the guys that don't take you seriously. Along with the way you present yourself.

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    • I guess. I met some of these guys at my college, and they all seem to be the same. I don't understand because I am not known for being a wild person, or someone who just likes hook-ups. So, it's bizarre to me. Thank you for commenting.

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    • Very true, my friend. Thanks for commenting! :)

  • Obviously the guys don't share your own opinion about yourself.

    Maybe you don't seems to be serious or relationship material, maybe the boys are the ones who are not interested in a relationship... hounestly we can tell based on this... only guess.

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  • I know how you feel. I've never had a relationship but just flings and hookups and even as a guy it still sucks because I can never find anything meaningful. It's like go with a girl and see how long she lasts until the next one and repeat.

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  • It could be the way you act and dress that gives off that vibe.

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    • I do dress in nice clothes, and maybe my bubbly personality gives off that image. It sucks though because i shouldn't be judged based off of that, but I guess it happens. Thanks!

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    • We all judge people based on appearance and observed behavior. That's how we adapt our own behavior to communicate successfully and get what we want.

      And clothing choices and bubbly personality can certainly contribute to your image. The clothing you choose is a reflection of you.

    • Yeah, I see what you mean. Thanks for commenting! :)

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