Ladies, am I undateable/doing something wrong, or have I just not given myself enough time when it comes to attracting a girl?

So I'm a 19 year old guy who did decent in school, starting college soon, got along well with everyone in my class-I was at the 'geeks' halo parties and later that night at the 'jocks' house party well received at both, was class Vice President, was viewed as an entertainer everyone loved when me and some friends did talent shows or videos for school because they pushed the border of appropriate, and I do crazy shit like skydive (may get licensed on it this summer) as you can see I'm pretty social and not afraid to voice my opinion-please don't think I'm full of myself from that list I'm just giving examples. But here's the kicker; I've never had a girlfriend, every girl I've talked to always rejected me (even when I wasn't 'friend zoned' ) a few girls were interested but were undesirable girls, I don't just mean looks they had serious issues. Girls didn't avoid me (I took the best looking girl in class to prom) but none ever seemed interested. Now I do have decently high standards I won't lie, but it's something I take seriously, looks factor in we can all agree-if I was with a girl it means I find her attractive body and mind, and I would never cheat on her, purposely hurt her etc and would hope one day marriage could happen. I know confidence matters but even so it's very hard to have confidence in a field you have no experience, and to top it off.. well I had to shave my head at 18, my Dad passed and I got a stress condition that made me lose head hair so I don't have much choice but to shave it to the skin at, people say it fits well on me (surprising I'm a skinny white guy) and I can pull it off decent but still, I feel like being 19 having no experience and having no hair will basically kill chances of me ever attracting a girl I'd find attractive. So to girls, and guys with experience who want to comment, what is the biggest issue for me? Is it standards, hair, view on relations too mature right now, or have I just not given myself enough time yet?

Updates:
As a note, I shaved my head at 18, and when I say my head hair thinned I mwanf just scalp, I didn't lose eyebrows or anything like that

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm... are you looking at ladies in your age group, or typically younger/ older women? You seem like a decent guy with a head on your shoulders, but maybe you need to branch out of where you are normally finding these dates of yours? Maybe skip over the age group that just wants to get laid/party/be a social bunny and go to women that are tad bit older... those are the ones that are serious about finding a good man. On the other hand, younger girls seem to like older men that know where they wanna go in life... just throwing it out there, I had dated someone like you in college.

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    • How much older were you thinking? I wouldn't mind a few years my senior but I have a friend dating a 29 year old and that would be way over the limit haha

    • Like I'm talking 2-3 years older... keep looking!

    • I would absolutely have no problem with a woman 2 or 3 years older if they took it more seriously, however I was always under the impression women always liked older guys, so I don't know how I'd succesfully approach them given that they probably could attract older guys, who despite more years have much more hair even you know?

What Girls Said 6

  • Maybe you just need to branch out of your typical and look elsewhere because you may just be looking in the wrong places. It seems like your a really great guy and just haven't found the one for you yet but you will. Just broaden your spectrum and look with wider eyes. You may be looking over some girls that do have an interest in you and meet some expectations.

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    • If you mean branch out of just people near where I live I agree, and have on occasion when I've stayed out of town, however if you mean what I find attractive well, I can't and won't change that, we all have standards and I take it very seriously, my father was an Army Ranger and his strictness is why I believe I care more about relationships, he did say however to never tell a girl I didn't care about that I loved them, and never tell a girl I didn't find attractive she was beautiful. Sounds cold but it had good intent, in the end it prevents hurting people even worse if you understand what I mean.

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    • Those are completely understandable and your preferences. So you need to be attracted to her right off the bat from her appearance , everyone needs that initial attraction. But maybe your overlooking some women that you could be attracted to if you literally saw them, for another girl you see that your attracted too. If that makes sense ?

    • You mean like girls I don't look at because I'm caught up with a different one I met or something?

  • Just give it time. I have a friend who is muscular (really big biceps) and good looking, and most girls drooled over him. He is smart, nice, and friendly. He started liking me at one point, but I wasn't attracted to him. Now he's married :) You'll meet someone when time comes. Enjoy doing what you're into in the mean time.

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  • Sounds like u haven't given enough time. Seems like u know how to treat a girl so just b patient, feminine intuition tells us what guys r jerks and what guys aren't. U will find someone, my mom says people who r really looking to date end up single longer so dont look to hard. (Also Don't worry about the no hair, my bf shaves his head and its not a big deal to either of us. he's still handsome far as im concerned)

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  • If it's your hair then you don't want her anyways. You just have to give it time. You're being saved for someone special :) Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll fine her when you least expect it :)

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  • Sorry i didn't read the rest of your story all i read was your 19.

    Give it time brah. Trust me the longer you wait the better.

    [ but jk i read the rest but yea give it time]

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  • you could buy a wig, sounds stupid but it is more normal than you think. it could also be how you present yourself- make it clear that your intentions are not to be friendzoned etc

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What Guys Said 3

  • Its not the hair, Neill Strauss (greatest pick up artist) shaved his head. What I found personally (as I am in the same fucking boat and learnt this late) is that many good, fun, social guys struggle with showing sexuality. Even ugly guys get laid because they know how to show this without being a creep. Its what gives that chemistry and not the friendszone. I used to always be out with girls and get nowhere. But then I started doing this: Instead of following the script "chat to her, have fun, maybe she will like me and give me signals for a date" go in with this frame "chat to her, FLIRT with her, have fun, ASSUME she finds you attractive and wants you, then ask for the number" I found that to be the difference. You have to show that you want her sexually in a passive way but also display that you are safe and cool. It worked for me. The funny thing is when you play it safe, you get tons of female friends but no lovers. When you for the flirt and show that you want her, some may reject you but some will be attracted to you fully. It all comes to confidence. But confidence that you know she wants you too (believe that whether she does or not).

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    • I do and have flirted, and I in the past I believed a couple were attracted to me and acted like it, I may not have relationship exlerience but I can and have flirted

    • I guess I also don't have experience spelling today

  • I'm similarly undateable but have a very different personality and a lot more hair than you do. So,... maybe that's a good thing. Maybe we have something in common that's not about looks or hair. Something that can be changed easily, hopefully. . . . if you happen to find out what the hell it is, let me know. Good luck!

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  • Women don't like walls of text. :/

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