I think I'm done being one of those "nice guys" is it wrong I want to be treated like a human and not used like a slave?

It's getting me no where, I never use to think that women enjoy men who just treat that like complete trash and that they are always, ALWAYS tricked and deceived but its becoming quite obvious that these men are who most girls want and go for. Let me say this first, I'm not one of the nice guys that will do or say anything for a women then cry over rejection, but I'll be sweet, kind, honest, and loving to her and treat her like how I'll want to be treated. This is honestly how I thought how you attract girls when i had my first crush, but turns out i was drop dead wrong. I'm just tired of being used and thrown in the friend zone while the douche guy gets the girl that i should have, and any guy who is or has been in my position will agree that these girls always come back complaining to us saying "Why did he treat me so badly" or "How come I can't find a nice guy?" and all I have is a massive facepalm to that.

Ladies can I please know why most of you prefer jerks to guys who are actually willing to treat you right with nothing in return, you know the smart guys who are going to college and trying to make a future for themselves? I honestly cannot fathom why so many girls in my school like the same group of man-thots that only want females for their bodies and for bragging rights, then guys like us who are willing to treat them like actual living organisms.

Plenty of girls have told me that I'm really attractive, smart, funny, sweet, and overall a nice person to be around but then they always go to the guy that is a complete asshole - The kind of guy that no one likes at all.

I guess this explains why these girls always run back to us around their 30s and realize that the nice guys are the ones with money and careers and who can provide for them, not the popular sneaker heads with "Swag" who are not paying child support and own about 30 people money.

Updates:
I used to think that I really did and went for different types of girls in my school, but it still gets me no where. Even the girls who are respectable will tell a guy "They're to nice".

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Most Helpful Girl

What Girls Said 7

  • I think I'm done being one of those "nice guys" is it wrong I want to be treated like a human and not used like a slave?
    It's not wrong in my opinion I find most gals want to be treated like a human and not used like a slave/treated like an object.

    why most of you prefer jerks to guys who are actually willing to treat you right with nothing in return, you know the smart guys who are going to college and trying to make a future for themselves?
    Vastly different experiences/observations. Most gals I know do not prefer jerks to guys who are actually willing to treat them right with nothing in return. Likely because the latter does not exist just take a look at yourself you seem to want something in return for treating gals nicely.

    Most gals I know and I imagine most gals in general generally prefer decent guys but will choose a jerk if the jerk is more attractive, wealthier, or more interesting. However they will try to change the jerk to be nicer.

    "its becoming quite obvious that these men are who most girls want and go for. "
    More likely that's the gals you focus on. I find it odd that when guys lament gals are X most agree yet when gals lament guys are X most disagree claiming it's the guys she goes for.

    "This is honestly how I thought how you attract girls when i had my first crush, but turns out i was drop dead wrong."
    You are wrong as nice /= attraction. I doubt you are attracted to a gal solely because she's nice. Likely there is looks, personality, and compatibility figuring in there along with you want her to treat you nicely.

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  • You say you face palm when women go "why can't I find a nice guy". Well I'm face palming because your going "women don't like nice guys". Women do like nice guys, that's why a lot of those women for marry those guys, instead they date them for like 3 months.
    Lots of women (myself included) like nice guys. But if think that because your nice you deserve something then your not really that nice. Nice people stop being nice because they got rejected. Guys who pretentious their nice guys for relationships do though. Being nice should be a base line not something special.
    But maybe she rejected you because he doesn't find you attractive. Daring someone you like but aren't attracted to is basically like dating a friend. But these people are thinking "why would I date a friend if we're already friends" smother said no to you. These women dated the guys they're attracted to but not the guy they like so thy don't end up together either. The guy who they like and are attracted to (not just emotionally but physically as well) is the guys they'll date. That doesn't make them mean or bad it just means they want to be in a relationship they actually have interest in

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    • I never stated once that all women don't like all nice guys, but its quite obvious that most women go for people that aren't willing to treat them like nothing more then an object.

      I never expect somethign in return when I'm nice, I clearly stated that being nice to women and treating them right was how I first thought you were suppose to treat them when I had my first date until I started realizing more and more that these girls keep going for these asshole guys.

    • You do believe you deserve something, your not saying it directly but your actions suggest otherwise. "I'm done being nice", but your done because a girl didn't go for you. Aka your done because you didn't get anything from the work you put in and now you pissed.
      And look at your parent, look at all the people who are in healthy relationships that you know. And I'm going to assume you know a lot of people like that. So you know a lot of women who married nice guys instead of playboys, so don't play like it's just that uncommon
      Look your a young guy and honestly most of you aren't looking for anything serious. We're just figuring ourselves out an living life to have fun. And small little flings can be fun. These girls just want to live a little right not they probably don't want to be tied down to anything serious

  • You are nice to girls but expect dates and sex out of it. Being nice won't make a woman like you. Have you ever liked a woman JUST because she was nice? think of a woman who isn't attractive to you, then imagine her being nice and doing favors for you - is that going to make you like her? No! so why do you think women are any different. the problem is you don't understand women and keep thinking if you be our little bitch boys or pretend to be a true friend that eventually we will end up in bed with you and that ain't how that works. if a woman doesn't find you physically attractive or sees little red flag turn offs in your personality then she won't wanna be with you.

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  • Oh poor you
    media1.giphy.com/media/HZlTHYH90ahqw/giphy.gif

    Yes girls like nice guys. As long as they are not passive, ungenuine, self entitled, charmless, bitter and dull. You have to be more than nice to date a quality woman.

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  • Ever consider you're picking the wrong girls to date?

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  • I guess we find 'bad boys' to be more upfront passionately and sexually, we do like that sort of attention because it's adventurous - Ofcourse I'm only speeking from my opinion but even we don't know why we go for those sort of guys

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  • Well you always get used, that's on you. Some people get used all the time and don't learn from it, that's males and females. How are you any different to the girls going after guys who use them then crying about it later? Don't you see yourself being the male version of that? Because that's what most people who don't get that treatment see. Choose better girls, or don't blame anybody else.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Howdy.

    "I'll be sweet, kind, honest, and loving to her and treat her like how I'll want to be treated. This is honestly how I thought how you attract girls when i had my first crush, but turns out i was drop dead wrong."

    Well, I'd say at least you now know you were wrong on that account. You attract girls by being attractive, physically and emotionally. However, if you think that by becoming a jerk, you will attract women, you are wrong again. Women, like men, are attracted to someone for physical and emotional reasons.

    I understand that you are hurting, but I think you are allowing this hurt to come through in the form of bitterness. Believe me, I'm not berating you for feeling bitter, but it won't serve you well to act on it.

    So I think the thing to do is to start making yourself more ATTRACTIVE to women. What, if anything, are you doing about your physical appearance? What are you doing to make yourself an interesting person? I'm glad to hear you have your career on track. That's good. It will help you. What are you doing to make your life an adventure?

    Be good to women because it's the right thing to do, not because you want some tail.

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    • "Be good to women because it's the right thing to do, not because you want some tail."

      THANK YOU! This is what I've been saying in a crass, bitchy way. Being nice to be nice is a good and very attractive trait. Being nice to get some pussy or a relationship, is the most annoying and fake thing ever!
      THANK YOU Bluemax, you should write a myTake on this lol You said everything I wanted to say in a nice, polite way.

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    • I'm mean. I told you that already lol I don't know why people think I'm nice.
      Your method works better. But I just can't help it sometimes :/
      I admire mature answers like yours or the DodgersGM guy. Cuz y'all say things in a completely respectful, mature way and I wish I were more like that. But I'm not lol Oh well.

      I forget things a lot too. I guess I'm senile as well :/
      I'm a bartender.
      You?

    • You know, now that you mention you're a bartender I think you have told me your profession. My niece tends bar and coordinates catered events. She is a bit older than you.

      My job? I put 10 and 11 year olds to sleep, er, I mean I am a 5th grade teacher. ;-D
      I teach math, science, language arts, and social studies. I don't do music, art, P. E., or computer science.

  • Dude, I feel your pain. The worst is when your chick friend says "I wish there were more guys like you" and then fucks the other guys. Anyway... do it, be more of a dick, but do it right. You see those douches sometimes arnt really that douche. They love themselves too and that's the difference. If some girl gives them shit, they dish it back because they have their boundaries, their needs etc. nice guys seem to sacrifice more than they should for a woman and it's wrong... and boring. What I can say really man, you got to sort this shit out now because you will end up like me... and it's hell. Get the book "no more mr nice guy" by Robert Glover (trust me it's brilliant and the only book that tackles nice guy syndrome). Then ask your more successful friends (with the ladies) how they do it? Mentors make the best teachers (if you don't have friends then there is your problem, not women or being nice) if you can't find one, get a dating coach or join a pick up artist community (there are loads in the world... it's actually funny) but get out there and make a plan.

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    • I am deeply skeptical about the pick up artist community. Most women can smell them a mile away.

    • Dude... whether the pick up artist community is good or bad, you are changing your variables and they do give objective advice on what you look like when you try date. And no... women only pick up on the bad ones, the rest actually achieve results. Its all about how you want to play the game. Great pick up artists don't even refer to themselves as such.

  • Usually when women go for the jerks its with the motive of changing him, you know, taking a tough guy and softening him up. something to do with some sense of accomplishment. Dating a guy like you would offer up no challenge. they get sweetness, kindness, love etc from everywhere anyway. So you become a statistic, not a desire.
    You don't have to be a dick to get a girl, there are easier ways.

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  • Yeah dont be nice. Dont listen to women listen to dudes that slay ass

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  • Girls will never admit this but being nice makes up so little of what attracts a girl that it's barely even a factor. Its more of a small bonus... a VERY small bonus. No, what you need, sir, is IT.
    IT is made up of four parts:
    -Looks
    -Charm
    -Mental dominance
    -Physical dominance.

    Looks are self explanatory and, not surprisingly, the most important factor as whether or not you are able to even get away with having the other 3 factors depends on how good looking you are.

    Charm is the next most important. It covers the ease of which you interact with others and your ability to get people to do what you want. Increasing your alpha rating.

    Mental and physical dominance go hand in glove here. Mental dominance is your ability to not take shit from anybody, to take the lead and to put on an aura of power over others, something that almost every girl gets wet over regardless of if she admits it or not. Physical dominance comes into play when your mental dominance fails. The guy girls want deep down (some deeper than others) will enforce his power over other males and females first with his commanding presence and then, if they refuse, with brute strength. Why do you think girls love rapists so much?

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    • You are making broad generalizations and honestly can't know enough women to make those statements accurate or mean anything. And they're also a lie

  • The woman in this video TELLS THE TRUTH!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESYK8fCEHUQ

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  • Why would you even WANT to marry a woman who has been around the block with every bad boy in town (the infamous "cock carousel"), only to then decide to "settle down" with a nice guy who has his life together (who she ignored before)?

    Seriously, let them lie in the bed they made.

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  • I think most of women dont say the truth or they dont know it but in my experience women love and like push and pull women dont like pull always or push always

    They still need to see the animal man every now and then but just over do it

    Dont be what they want be urself be urself be urself

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  • Im a nice guy and I've never been used. I've had long-lasting relationships to random make outs to steamy flings. The term "nice guys finish last" only refers to the fact that a nice guy cums last, after his significant other reaches orgasm.

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