I've been working with this girl for 2 years now and we have amazing chemistry. Any possible sign you could think up that shows a girl is into a guy, I swear this girl gives. But I'm willing to be corrected here.
She's basically attached at my hip at work, following me around, using any excuse to do things alongside me. She's constantly touching me subtly, my shoulder, my arms, even grasping my waist, running her nails along my skin, etc. We eat lunch together every day. She confides in me. Changed her phone number and only gave me the new number. Etc.
Now this girl is gorgeous and gets approached and hit on 24/7 but legit hates the attention and is a secret introvert. She only reciprocates with me.
I was initially in a relationship with someone else when we started working together, then recently I broke up and after the Latina made it clear her "it's complicated" status was definitively single I asked her out--and she said no.
Her explanation after a lot of ums and wells was "we work together and all..."
Now I also know incidentally that all of her exes are black and she is very attracted to black men. She grew up in a very rough low income city that is predominantly black and that has been the pool her relationships have been from. I can even go the extra step to say she tends to pick "troublemakers" with several of them in jail or facing trial as we speak. I'm getting the impression she thinks I'm "stereotypically white" which is absurd and wildly inaccurate, yet I'm definitely not a "troublemaker" for what it's worth.
So here are my questions: Do you agree that she's attracted to me or do you think I've been friendZoned this whole time without realizing? If a girl was REALLY into a guy don't you think she'd go out with him even if it was a coworker? Do you think race is playing any role in this at all and she's just not attracted to me in "that way?"
I've since backed off my approach. Is it game over or should I keep showing interest?
Most Helpful Guy
Don't show you're interested, because she said no. The train has left the station. She's very touchy feely and is obviously comfortable with you, but if that's as far as she will go then that's as far as you should take it.
You seem to be handling this with more poise and class than I would, but understanding the extent of this relationship and not going any further will serve you in the best way. As another commenter said, women are complicated. Some can ignore you yet dream about you, while others can be like this Latina and never be willing to take that next step.0