Why is online dating hard for curvy and thick girls?

I had one man tell me that my profile avi decieved him. That I'm bigger then the picture suggests. We were having good conversations before that. He even said he felt that he loved me. And then we met and he never wanted to talk to me. He said I lied to him. I didn't know men only want skinny girls. This happens a lot. The men meet me and don't ever message back. It is hard to find love.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • because many guys on those sites are jerks and they only want to fuck girls that are not usually in their possibilities.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I like thick girls. They make life easier. What gets easier to pick up, the heavier it is? Women.

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  • Yeah? I had a girl show up for a date from an online dating site, and she'd carefully concealed the fact she was 300lbs with clever camera angles, carefully selected pictures and basically yes, lying.

    Since you're going Anon on this I'm going to conclude that you are doing the same thing - no full body shots, high angles, etc. Stop complaining for a second and ask yourself what kind of relationship you're hoping to find if you're dishonest and deceptive from the very beginning?

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    • PS: Curvy and thick does not equal obese not matter how much you want it to.

    • All girls do that. Skinny girls take lots of pictures, apply filters, take different angle, crop out, and pick the best ones to post. Its only bad if I do it because I'm not skinny?

    • It's bad if the point of your editing is to hide what you actually look like.

  • In order to answer this question, I'd need weight and height data rather than just "thick" and "curvy" because those honestly can mean anything you want. But yes, there is still a maximum threshold for fat quantity that people do find attractive. If my body could fit inside your hip width twice, then that isn't exactly normal.

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  • Next time, make sure to put up at least one full body picture (not just from the neck-up or the boobs-up).

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    • I put curvy and thick on my profile. Did men really expect a size 0?

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    • Them looking like the person in the pic would be nice prof_don lol

    • @cavmanier I agree... all us guys want is recent pics that show both the face and the full body. 8-)

  • Online dating is just hard, in general.
    It's harder to get a read on people, there are way too many people to make things anything but complicated, yadda yadda.

    Personally, I prefer girls with a little thickness to them but, you know, I'm not your average white guy xD

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  • People don't like to be deceived. Imagine if a guy lied to you about an important detail. Weight is a very important issue to both genders. We want to be sexually attracted to the girl we date.

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    • How can pictures be decieving? Pictures show exactly what we look like.

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    • All the men felt deceived. Why is it so hard to find love just because Im not a size 0?

    • What size are you? You need to post more accurate photos

  • Certain people like him want a thin partner. They find it more sexually attractive obviously. Also there are several times more overweight people so a lot of men that like bigger women I imagine would be more likely to be with one.

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    • I put curvy and thick on my profile. Why are they surprised to see I wasn't a size 0?

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    • It sounds like that could be why he was confused.

    • Skinny girls do it all the time.

  • Thin is a common quality that men want their partners to have, but there are guys who love bigger girls too, make no mistake. You just gotta keep at it.

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    • They meet me and then never talk to me.

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    • I'm sorry, but there are no guys who like "bigger" girls when they have a choice in the matter.

      There are certainly lots of guys who like curvy girls, with voluptuous tits and ass, and small waists.

    • @koko124 That's not true at all. I'm guessing she's more like a chubby build, which I like and I know other dudes who do as well. But I do agree most guys are probably more into smaller waists and flat tummies.

  • To find love... you gotta get out of the house... you can't get everthing sitting at home!

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  • Yeah, if it's happening a lot there's something wrong. I can't tell if you're deceiving people or not as I haven't seen any pictures of you myself. But the thing is that curvy isn't fat or obese and there's definitely difference. Also, I don't know what dating site you are using but some I don't even check what the body type is, the pictures are usually enough and the body type selection can be chosen incorrectly. I definitely don't think this is a matter of guys being dicks, that's too simple if it's happening all the time. Look, if it's there's some differences in reality compared to pictures, that's fine, it's pretty much gonna happen in some way. Guys aren't expecting you to be a size a "size 0" but if you use curvy they aren't expecting fat or obese (not saying you are but it does sound like this is what's happening) relationships are built on honesty and if you show up looking a lot heavier than picture suggest and the body type you chose, that's lying and it's not a guys fault if he's not attracted to you physically, personality is definitely huge in attraction and a romantic relationship but if i only like someone's personality than I'm just gonna be friends with them. All this might be hard to hear but I only say it because you say it happens all the time. There is something you can do about it, take what you can control. Look at your weight honestly, and choose the correct description of your body, and have a picture showing your full body, this is will yield much better results and you avoid all of the trouble you have been experiencing.

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  • It's not for curvy girls, curvy girls are the hottest girls around

    But if your using curvy as an excuse for being overweight then no one wants an overweight person, clearly

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  • because you aren't curvy or thick you are fat.

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  • Let's define our terms here. In this context, are "curvy" and "thick" euphemisms for "fat?"

    What would you think of a guy who tried to pass himself off as more muscular/fit than he actually was, using... strategic cropping techniques? People want to know that what's being presented to them is what they'll actually encounter. That applies to both physical appearance and personality.

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    • I'm thick. How do pictures decieve? Pictures are what we look like

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    • I'm guessing "size 0" is your catch-all phrase for what pisses you off since you're using it all over the place. You can cover your ears and keep repeating the same things to yourself over and over, but you're going to keep getting the same answer from everyone here because as much as you want to deny it and cast blame on the men you hook, your approach is the cause of your failure: you're practicing the dating equivalent of false advertising.

      You have exactly two options here: Take a full-body photo and present yourself as-is on your profile so your dates know what to expect ahead of time, or get used to getting a negative reaction when the guy meets you and your deception falls apart.

    • And... MHO goes to the person who tells you what you want to hear instead of one of the many who said what you need to do to fix the problem. I wish I could say I'm surprised.

  • Because overweight girls are delusional for using the word thick and curvy.
    You're showing pictures of your face in an angle without a full body picture, it's lying.

    It's if a guy told you he's a doctor who is 6'3 and you show up to the date and you realize he's 5'3 and works at McDonalds.

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    • How is it lying? I never said I was skinny. I put curvy and thick on the profile. Did they expect to see a size 0 if I said I was thick? Lots of girls take pictures from different angles, apply filters, and take lots of pictures to find the best ones and only post the best pictures. Why is it bad if thick girls do the same? Because we aren't skinny?

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    • I am honest.

    • Okay tell me this then since you're honest.

      How much do you weigh and how tall are you?

What Girls Said 8

  • He is one prick out of a lot of decietful men. Guys may not lie about their weight but they decieve their height just as much and their income and so many other things. They exaggerate more than anything. It's a good thing that you found out what a shallow jerk he was straight up.

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    • It happens all the time. The men never want to talk to me after we set up dates.

    • The right man for you will accept you as you are and it's better that the shallow arseholes take themselves out of the running, so you don't have to wonder. Keep being opptimistic and remember that you only need the one guy, just one. I do know how you feel.

  • It's stupid, but they're allowed to judge on face value. You're not getting an opportunity to get to know each other personally, but only through a laptop screen. And to be honest, isn't it kind of good that you found out what a jerk he is the first time you guys met, than a couple of weeks in after you had fallen for him (or started to care for him).

    Maybe leave the online dating for a while. Relearn to love yourself, and be confidant in yourself, and maybe you'll even meet someone WORTH knowing and getting to know!! And if you don't you can always go back onto online dating but this time you won't care about what the jerks think because you are happy with yourself the way you are!!!

    Good luck!! I hope you find someone worthy of your time

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  • Why doesn't anyone use the F word? What's so bad about it?

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  • Kinda reminds me of this: http://youtu.be/2alnVIj1Jf8
    You probably aren't that fat, but maybe the same kind of effect happened to you. I would post a better picture.

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    • I feel that's what happens to me.

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    • I take pictures from breasts and up.

    • I only watched till 1:39 but I'm surprised, those guys were much nicer to the girl than I thought they'd be. They actually tried to avoid hurting her feelings. Their shock is totallllly understandable - there's a HUGE difference! Haha. I'd be weirded out too.

  • He sounds like a real gem :/ toake the dating site best work for you I would post only 2 pics. Full body and forward facing facial shot. That way the guy who visits your profile knows who he is physically talking to.. Most guys justbjump without looking 😐

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  • Curvy =/= thick.

    And the guy you were talking to was an asshole. You may want to put a full body photo of yourself on the site so there are no "unpleasant" surprises.

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    • My body is an unpleasant suprise?

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    • Skinny girls always apply filters. They take pictures from different angles. Why is it bad if I do it? Because I'm not a size 0?

    • I'm a skinny girl and I never use filters. Stop generalizing. I understand if you're bitter about your experience but it's obvious that I'm telling you that filters and angles can make you look like someone you aren't. If your photo is highly edited, you can't really blame the guy for being shocked when he meets you in person. Please think rationally.

  • There was a video that did this. They had 2 fit good looking people take a photo and set up dates with the opposite sex, they then put them in fat suits and recorded the dates reaction. Ill try adn find the link.

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    • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8
      Here it is there is a guy version too. Sorry I don't have an answer though.

    • I feel that's what happens to me.

    • I think its just that those guys are dicks. in fact most guys on dating sites (like tinder) are probably dicks. Not saying girls aren't, i don't know.
      Maybe it's the diamond in the rough kind of thing. Gotta put up with assholes till you find the one.

  • Be straight up with your pictures so you don't have to be hurt like that.

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    • I am. How can a picture decieve? A picture is worth a thousand words.

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    • What size are you?
      A lot of fat girls call themselves curvy/thick.

    • Asker, like I already said, you need to get your definitions straight. Curvy and thick are not the same things. There is a huge difference between someone who is overweight and someone who has natural curves.

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