Been talking to and hooking up with this great guy. He says he doesn't want a relationship right now, as we both got out of them semi recently. He says he could see us dating down the road... whatever that means. Do you think it's all BS? Should I walk away?
Most Helpful Girl
Hmm, if you are 'hooking up' you have a relationship... for his convenience. It's sex without obligation or commitment. Which, in reality, is kind of crazy, since any relationship, even non-sexual ones always involve some kind of expectation, i. e., courtesy, honoring one's word regarding mutual activities or providing some service. Even children develop them. It's normal. What your 'great guy' wants is a concubine... a vagina to release sexual tension. Now, the 'friends with benefits' thing would be ok if you just wanted a male sex organ to relieve your sexual needs as well... and only that. You know what I mean... it's like having a dildo in the flesh, lol! But it sounds like to me you want something different... a boyfriend, which is a whole other kettle of fish. A boyfriend will not 'use' you for sex or just passing the time entertainment. He is invested in being with you and developing such things as mutual interests that tie you into a bigger picture like school and career goals, social justice, or even something spiritual. I don't want you to think that I'm being judgmental by what I'm going to say next. If I were you I'd read some books or talk to a counselor and find out for yourself what it means to have a healthy self-regard or self-esteem. The guy you are sleeping with is neither a 'friend' or a 'boyfriend.' My opinion... walk away!1