How can I get out of this friend-zone? I'm so in love with my best friend and don't know how to take it to the next level?

So my best friend is a girl and we've known each other for about 2.5 years now. We've become super close and see each other almost everyday. We talk on the phone everyday and we're practically inseparable. She's 4 years older than me, 30 & I'm 26, and when we first met I told her I liked her but she said, "we should just be friends, you're too young for me".

I was able to move on, but now that we hang out so much, and she's so beautiful, I have really fallen in love with her. We get along super well, and her family loves me. I was invited to go to her mom's birthday dinner, and it's like I'm the boyfriend and part of the family.

However, when my friend went to the bathroom, her mom was saying how we need to go out more, and that I could find girls, etc. I know her parents probably encourage her to date me, because we're pretty much perfect for each other.

Anyways, I want to get to the next level with my friend, but for one, I am worried of ruining our friendship, but at the same time I do want to take this to the next level. I did get jealous the other day when she was texting another guy she met online. I told her that i got jealous and she said, "really? why? your my bff!"

Also, she invited me to dinner, but I was already going out with another girl and i told her i would call her after. However, i get a text asking if i was done and if i wanted to hang out. She thought i was on a date, and kept texting me asking how it is going and where i am, etc. It was almost as if she was jealous.

She even told her mom that I was out with another girl and was telling her about the details. My friend will sometimes link arms with me, or rest her head on my shoulder. Or sometimes she will put her hand on my thigh, sit on my lap. She sometimes will grab and squeeze my hand, when all i wanted was a high five.

And she goes and touches me sometimes that is more than a friendship! like she gets a brain freeze and then goes and grabs me to comfort her.

I don't get it


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do something like this: "I really feel strongly for you and I can't keep torturing myself over you; would you consider taking our friendship to another level?"

    Yes - fantastic. Winner.
    No - genuinely, move on. You'll be happier for it in the long run, and she might come back to you later on.

    Don't beg, or spurt out all at once that you're madly in love and can't imagine life without her etc. etc.

    Whatever you choose to do, good luck! But you're only going to ruin your happiness for yourself if you carry on as you are, sorry to put it that bluntly.

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What Girls Said 2

  • First of all. Do you feel like just being her friend hurts you or do you feel like you can go on like this. Because those feelings probably won't go away for a long time (I've been in your shoes). I personally think you should confront her and tell her. preferably when you two are alone. Cause if you don't you're probably gonna be asking yourself the question "What if i had told her?" forever. Do you really want to live that way. Also, if you don't tell her, someone else will and you'll lose her for good. So grow a pair and TELL HER. i still regret not telling him, cause i lost him to an other girl, it's been a year and it still hurts. a friendship can be repaired over time, if she says no. but seeing what you wrote here, i'm quite sure she likes you.
    Sorry if my writing is confusing. Bottom line, you should tell her.

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  • I'm going to give you the best advice you will get on here: Keep your options open. Spend less time with her & STOP making her your life/priority. That's the only way she will see you as more than a friend! The only way she will NOT see you as a friend is for you to stop treating her like one - in other words, be there, but date other women.

    Even though your goal isn't to really commmit to them, this will cause her to see you as a desirable male. You could either pussy-foot around her, & hold on to hope, with no guarantee that she will see you as boyfriend material, or you could grow a moustache & harden the f-up & follow my advice & actually get what you want. Good luck! :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • What happened 2.5 years back, might not be relevant now. You need to express interest in her again.
    But if she again says you can only be a friend, you need to let her go and find someone else.

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  • Your friendship is over because you don't want to be her friend.

    So you have to be willing to take the Loss. You confront her and tell her that you want the relationship to move forward. And if she's not agreeable, you'll have to end the friendship.

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