Race relations... do white men really raise or lower their standards when it comes to blk women?

A BIG debate between me (a blk woman) and a friend of a friend (a white male)...

So me and this friend of a friend had a very heated debate last night and I want outside opinions just to be sure I didn't take his comments out of context... we talked about interracial relationships and I was telling stories of my experiences of dating white men. This guy has always dated within his race so I asked him would he ever consider dating a blk female and he said (and I quote) "if you're talking about you, then yeah, other than that, no thanks". I asked what did he mean by that, he explained to me that he don't find blk women attractive because he's been 'told' that blk women are loud and uneducated. He said he has friends who date blk women but some lower their standards because they don't expect the blk girl to hold conversations on topics like politics or world relations, or they will raise their standards high because an average blk woman is not the same as an average white women so the blk girl has to be in a high demanding career making a lot of money just to get a white guys attention. So I assume that he's saying white men only hook up with blk females just to have sex, but if she wants to date him then she has to be a doctor, lawyer, etc. So I asked him why did he say he would date me, he said not too many blk women are smart and pretty... I was very upset with his words, Our mutual friend is a white woman (one of my very dear friends), and we hang out all the time and sometimes white men approach me, sometimes they approach her just like some blk men approach her. His words have irritated me, I woke up mad and I'm mad now, I've always dated white men and didn't know there were 'rules' to dating blk women! I just thought I was being approached because they found me physically attractive.

I want white men to be completely honest.. do your standards change when you are approached by, or step to, a blk woman? Do blk women have certain qualities that attract WM?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Neither. It's just race. Its 2015, lets get past the race issue

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What Guys Said 10

  • All of the above and none. We're not all the same. Some white guys won't date black women, flat out. Some expect less, some expect more, some don't care either way. I can't speak for your friend, but it's a fact that black people have a significantly lower rate of educational attainment in the US (not sure where you're from). It's possible he may have been making an analytical statement about the number of educated black women without much tact. Or it's possible he may be thinking more judgmentally, only he would know.

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  • It's really just the preference of the individual

    I don't hold those sort of standards I just think if a woman is physically attractive then I'll probably approach them no matter what race

    I think that an intelligent, opinionated girl is pretty hot but they would need to be intelligent enough to hold conversation all least or I'd lose interest

    But saying all people of a race are stupid is like saying every Asian is shit at driving

    Not necessarily true but the few create the stereotype for the many

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  • WOW... Where to begin..
    1. That guy is an asshole and a jackass.
    2. Normal non racist white men that find a black women attractive could care less what she does or what she wants to talk about.
    3. To be completed honest. There is almost no negative issue when a white guy brings home a black girl. I know its unfair but its true.
    4. Men dont lower their standards when it comes to attractive girls... We jump for fucking joy that we get to spend time with u... Regardless of color..

    One more time... That guy is a bigot and an asshole

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  • I hold the same standards for Black women as I do for any other race of women. I want a good woman with ethics and morals and whom I share a deep connection, compatibility and chemistry with.

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  • No change in standards at all. There are no rules, other than to treat all people with dignity and respect.

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  • No, I don't know anyone who thinks like that. He's just racist.

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  • One thing I have decided is that everyone speaks for themselves only.

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  • In my opinion I see white guys usually aim for very attractive black women like hallie berry level and many black guys date these 2/10 fat trailer trash white women most of the time.

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  • Your friend made some ignorant arguments BUT I have to hand it to him for NOT being politically correct and having an honest dialogue with you. Most white people are very afraid to do that with black people. Being a labeled "a racist" in way, shape or form hold dires consequences no matter if our argument is logical or illogical. The sad (and scary) result is this a inner anger/seething and in my opinion more non verbal racism. That is why Donald Trump is doing so well in the GOP polls (I DO NOT ENDORSE HIM). White people (particularly men) find it inspiring to finally see a conservative white man in politics blatantly speak his mind... even if does come of as arrogant/ignorant.

    Anyway back to the black/white interacial issue. I'm a white guy (as you probably quickly deduced) and I've briefly dated 3 different black girls in the last 10 years. The truth is I did it out of curiosity, not because I was that physically attracted to them. I'm a moderate conservative but I want to introspective of my own biases so I felt like this was a "cultural" experiment. All three girls were much more direct than most of the white girls I've in my life. 2 of them were very well educated. They all were very physically into me. I found this refreshing because white girls tend be masterful with mixed signals and often drive me nuts. However I was on their GOOD side at the time. I get worried how I would deal with a black girl once we got in a argument which always happens some point in relationship. Would she be brutally direct and mean? Yes you can call me prejudice for expecting that. However these three blk girls were distinctly different in personality right off the bat.

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  • I'm going to be as honest as I can be, and I'm a white male. I hold a certain standard for ALL women. Regardless of race. It seems Asian and white women meet this standard more than most black women. There are black women who meet my standards but they're at a lower percentage. On top of that there are more white women in this country than black. So that makes black women slim pickings for me. On top of that black women are more reluctant to date white men. So it puts some of them at a huge disadvantage. If I date a black girl I don't see it as dating down, I could date certain white women and feel like I'm "dating down". I hope this helps. Any questions feel free to ask.

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What Girls Said 2

  • did that billionaires that Naomi Campbell and Eve snagged lower their standards? lol

    i think not! =)

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  • Some white guys really like black black girls (Bria Myles and boyfriend Sean Newell) but they think in the hate that they will have in her family against him and of other people around him and no support with everything against him so is easier only go for sociallly acceptable girls that they will have no problems with their family and life even if they could like some black girl.

    Girls like Beyonce with straight or blonde hair and light skin in real life looks like mestiza, latina or white women for them in some countries.

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