How to deal with a low confidence partner?

my boyfriend lately has been having a lot of negative thoughts, and his been feeling really low in confidence! and i feel like his not letting me in.. what advice would to give me to help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been stuggling with self confidence all my life, though for the most part im too determined to give in. But we're all different. The best thing I can think of is to just be there. Ask him how he's doing what's bothering him, treat him lik he matters. don't agree or offer advice if he asks if you agree tell him you don't know. or if its how someone is treating him encourage him to find his own happiness to speak up for himself. or maybe just to change circumstances. its important that he lets go entirely so he shouldn't seek reasons to change circumstances. These types of problems require a desire to find the things that make you happy. Sometime its different friends sometimes jobs. And if its something you can't control than you have to sit with the emotions that are being brought up and express them. Most of it should be sadness. For along time i've avoided the desire to cry because it wasn't manly and yet allowing myself the freedom to express these emotions has saved me from a lot of self hate. I can't say I know what he's going through but I can tell you that until 6 months ago I was extremely suicidal. After having lost 2 friends to the same thing. he should deifinately try to get i n touch with his emotions. those will definitely tell him whats wrong then he simply has to follow his heart. But this is all entirely up to him all you can do is support and love him while these things come to the surface. I hope this helps

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What Guys Said 9

  • hahahaha welllll i can tell you one of the things that makes guys feel really confident is when you suck their dick and tell them how hot they are while you're doing it... compliments don't hurt especially when your actions... *ehem* "back up" your words and back it up real good if you know what i mean ;)

    lmao but yeah that'll leave him with a straighter back deeper voice and more confidence... other than that, probably just encouraging his strengths and being honest about the good you see in him. the trick with insecure people is you can't force them to let you in, but you can wait outside the door with cookies and maybe they'll come out instead

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  • He may need to test for low testosterone if he is experiencing an unaccounted bout of depression or low self esteem. If he has a lot of stress going on in his life it may just be a reflection of that, he may bottle it up but it escapes in small doses as random negativity.

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  • Just try to give him whatever emotional support he needs and make surehe knows you're there for him. Try asking him whats wrong

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  • wow kinda like me somtimes :/ well i can tell u form experience. he needs you to make him feel sincierly loved.. let him know your by his side through thick and thin.. that alone would make anyman want to better his self.. it should..

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  • What kind and of thoughts. This related to any particular event

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  • Beats me. I don't have self confidence.

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  • send him to rehab.

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  • Amen. .. get a better partner, lol

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  • Give him some coke. Open happiness lol

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What Girls Said 5

  • Non verbal signs of affection. Maybe he'd like to be cuddled and hugged a lot. Find a reason to touch him just because.

    I used to date a guy who was really insecure on the inside but he'd try to act hard on the outside. He loved it when I'd hug him and cuddle. He even sat on my lap lol. Just comfort him like youd do a baby. I think that's called nurturing? His inner child just needs some love

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    • oh i do that a lot, but then his like 'stop treating me like a child'

    • aye, negativity, especially insecurity, isolates you like that.

  • I can tell u that it Sounds like he is battling his own insecurities. I can also tell u if he continues to not let u in, it could be really draining for u

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  • My boyfriend has low confidence as well. If you start telling him he is sexy etc, he will don't belive you and feel worse. Take him on shopping and make him try some clothes when he shows you just gasp and tell him how good it looks on him and use the moment to tell what parts of him you find the most attractive.
    Hug him and kiss him often and tell him how special he is to you and how much he means to you. Buy him or do something special for him and tell him that a such special boy as he is deserves special treatments. When he does something to you tell him how cute he is and how lucky you are to have a guy like him. If he makes you breakfast or any of those little things tell him how delicious it taste and that he could be a pro chef, etc.
    Don't overdo it, but guys has a big ego and you have to show him that you appreciate him and think he is unique. Don't just tell him. Try to spend much time with him and try to give him compliments when its seems to be the right moment.

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  • Just be supportive and show that you care. Give it some time. If he doesn't come around after a while, you might want to consider that the reason he has shelled up is because he's trying to push you away. In my experience, guys will do this rather than break up. They would rather push you to break up, so that it's not on their conscience. Hopefully not the case for you, so just hand in there and be an awesome gf. Observe whether he's appreciative of you.

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  • He is facing some life issues... it will pass buy on its own... in the mean while be there to support him.

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