What am I doing wrong to always be seen as a guy friend and not a love interest?

Girls, what exactly makes a guy be put as a friend as opposed to a lover?
Every girl I like, they like me but just as the dreaded friend it seems. I don't know what I'm doing wrong!
What's the difference?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What am I doing wrong to always be seen as a guy friend and not a love interest?
    Likely you're not doing anything 'wrong' as it's just a matter of attraction. For some reason it seems guys regard gals as interchangeable things where if you do X, Y, Z he gets what he wants. However for many gals no matter how much you do something it doesn't change attraction.

    No different than no matter how nice, funny, smart, etc an obese unattractive gal is a guy who is not into overweight/unattractive gals will not see her as a love interest.

    What's the difference?
    The difference between friend and love interest is generally physical and sexual attraction.

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    • At least what a girl or a girl find attractive is not unniversal, I doubt he is unattractive to all girls in the world :)

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    • There is more than one type of chemistry...

    • Yes there's friendship, partnership (collaborators/colleagues), familial, romantic, sexual, and romantic/sexual chemistry. It seems for the gals who rejected you they had a friendship chemistry with you.

What Girls Said 1

  • Chemistry. Guys always start out as friends with me, but I also have a bad habit of only befriending guys I'm somewhat attracted to. From there, whether we have chemistry or not decides if he stays a friend or I invest more into him.

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    • What 'chemistry' do you need?

    • It's not something that you can just make happen, dude. You just kind of feel it. You connect.

    • So what need OP is to do more try to find a girl with he has a chemistry?

What Guys Said 1

  • Ahh the friend zone... let me ask you man, when there is a girl you like, what do you do? Do you approach her? Do you try to be friends with her first? Men who end up in the friend zone usually do so because they do not make a move on the girl quickly enough. If there is a girl you like, talk to her and feel out the situation. If she is interested, then make a move. If you wait too long, the girl will usually move on. Separate females into friends vs lover category and try not to mix the two. For example, my female friends I keep them as friends ONLY. If there is a girl I have interest in, I talk to her and make a move if she is interested. If not, I move on. It sounds to me that you like to be friends with the girl first then try to see if a relationship is possible. Unfortunately, this approach very rarely works I'm afraid...

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