Dating multiple girls - wrong or fine?

So trying the online dating thing and this situation has come up. Went on a date with someone, but just not sure yet. I've set up a date another date with another girl and wondering what people thought about this.

Since I've only known the first girl no more than a week, I'm def not in a position to commit. Still seeing who's out there and who I mesh with best. So I'm dating a few women simultaneously. Is that wrong? I don't think it is, as long as I'm upfront about it (I am).


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I see nothing wrong with it at all, that is if you are being upfront about it... Also, if u are not looking to settle down let that be known as well. Guys tend to tell girls what they want to hear these days to get what they want. Leaving the girl hurt and questioning herself about the situation which is very uncalled for. I've seen this several times with my friends and their relationships or should I say "Situationships"... Of course its in our human nature to fulfill our curiosity. Just as long as you keep it real and of course SAFE!

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    • And that works with girls too. I've had girls suck up to me like they want when all they want is a hookup or ego boost.

    • Suck up to me to get what they want*

    • Yup, I do let the women I date know that I am dating around. I am looking to settle down too, I do not intend to have relationships with several girls. I want a relationship with one girl I find I like the most.

What Girls Said 15

  • As long as you're not committed to one specific girl, it's totally fine. Make it known that you're pursuing other options so she doesn't think she's the only one, though.

    My coworker is doing the online dating thing, and she went on a couple dates with a dude. She was only pursuing him exclusively, and they never had the talk about if they were going to pursue other options at the same time, so the whole time she kept voicing her worries (to me, not him) about if he was out there seeing other girls while she was just sitting there waiting on him.

    They did end up breaking the dating thing off, and now she's continuing her search with other options.

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  • I'd figure 'he's just not that in to me' I'd probably not see him again but I guess it depend where we both were in our dating lives/the situation.

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  • I just assume its not exclusive until we have "the talk". sometimes if it seems like someone is thinking it is more than it is you might need to *gently* set them straight. (for example, a guy i was hooking up with was getting kinda attached and one day he randomly brought up that his mom was dating multiple guys and didn't seem to understand that it wasn't okay, so i was just like "umm... i think its fine as long as she hasn't told any of them that they are exclusive...", and that worked pretty well) honesty is the best policy, but morally its completely fine.

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  • It's fine because that's the point of dating

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  • If I was dating a guy and knew he was dating other girls, I would work harder to impress the guy, so it's fine I guess;)

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    • I think I should reveal that from now on. I multi date, not to be a player but to see who's the right one and I kept it secret because I didn't wanna give off that player vibe, but at the same time, the ones I liked put no effort after our dates and the ones I could care less about put more effort in.

  • It's fine, let them know you are going on multiple dates to find one that stands out, I wouldn't sleep with them til you pick just one though. Lots of STDs out there.

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  • I'd feel rubbish if i was the girl and I knew the guy i dated was trying to find better. But i guess it's ok if you are honest, but it's not good for her self esteem I'm sure!

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  • Thats fine as long as you're honest about it.

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  • As long as they know you're exploring options and you're not actually committing to one person yet

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  • I don't really care if my boyfriend texts other girls, as long as they don't sext or plan to have sex

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  • As long as you let them know you're doing it, that's fine...

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  • I see nothing wrong with it at all as long as you're honest

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  • so wrong. why dont people just give one person their attention and if it doesn't work out nothing personal and date another person? rude

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  • If they all know about it.. no

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  • What website are you using? Olcupid?

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What Guys Said 9

  • Dating multiple girls? Fine, you gotta see who you like most.
    Having a RELATIONSHIP with multiple girls? NOOOOO!!!

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  • Until you agree to be exclusive with each other, have no doubt in your mind they are talking to and/or going out with other guys.

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    • Where do you draw the line though? You shouldn't put your eggs in one basket but you shouldn't spread yourself too thin and date too many where you lose them all.

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    • True, but what if you're multi dating and all of them disappear.

    • @bloodmountain1990 That's how it goes sometimes. Part of life.

  • Do it bud, online dating is really weird and the girls are very fickle since they get 10000 messages a day. If you invest everything into one girl and dont make it past the first 1-3 dates you're awkwardly sitting there with 3 other girls who had interest in you but lost it by that point since you didn't keep up conversation with them.

    Also I wouldn't really bring up the subject of hey, you're #3. That may kill it right there, just keep it to yourself. None of the girls I've dated said hey im dating other guys, yet I saw texts pop up while we were cuddling haha. Keep it to yourself, if you get a girlfriend break it off with the others, if not no harm done, they're doing it too.

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  • I do it, especially because most of the girls I've met are off dating sites. If I see them online even after our dates, there's no doubt they're keeping their options open. Girls also get way more messages on there than guys anyways.

    The only time multi dating would be an issue is if you act like you're seriously interested in a person as if they're the the one but you're dating multiple guys/girls at the same time,

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    • Here's another question for everybody? How many guys/girls do you date when multi dating?

      Multi dating is fine but it can be tricky with keeping up with everyone. And sometimes when you're trying to find the one you want to seriously pursue, you might find traits from each person that you like better than others.

  • i try to date at least 2 preferably 3 girls at a time. the whole reason is really to keep your mind off of all of them enough so you don't start to call/text too often which is what happens when you only date 1 person. many relationships end before they begin b/c of this reason. it is also nice to have options, it makes you more attractive as well when girls know they have competition and that you have no problem getting women.

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  • The only guy I know who dates multiple women at once consistently drops all of them. The best analogy I can think of is juggling eggs.

    I could only handle dating one person at a time - give her my full attention. I'm a monogamist, I wouldn't want it any other way.

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  • They're just one date, that's fine. Once you start to get serious with one you should cut the others off though.

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  • If they are aware you're dating others, I don't see a problem.
    Trying different girls at the same time before selecting which one is worthy of being a girlfriend is fine too.

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  • It's fine, you're not committed

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