Do you get lots of attention from the opposite gender when you become single?

My boyfriend and I broke up like 2-3 days ago but I've already had two guys I barely/don't know (one being my ex boyfriend's friend) ask to hang out and get to know me. My male friends have been joking about getting with me/marrying me. A long term male friend has been showing me a lot more attention and talking about when people thought we were together in highschool!

This tends to happen after every break-up I've had. I do like the new attention, it does lift my spirits a bit but I feel it's fairly disrespectful. I feel like I'm not getting any space to deal with what I'm going through.

Has anyone else found this? Do you like it or do you wish people could give you space during the break up?

  • I get a lot of extra attention when I become single
    29% (4)12% (3)18% (7)Vote
  • I get some extra attention
    7% (1)12% (3)10% (4)Vote
  • I get no extra attention
    14% (2)40% (10)31% (12)Vote
  • I'm not sure if I do, I don't notice/pay attention to that
    14% (2)16% (4)15% (6)Vote
  • I've never had a break up
    36% (5)20% (5)26% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In your case...
    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...7ec423cdcd.jpg

    I feel you, the attention is flattering but at the same time it's kinda forced because it's too soon and it's not as genuine since they're only being nice to get with you... or in you pants.
    I bet you're getting messages from guys who probably never cared before like: "You want to talk?"
    "I'm here if you need someone to"
    "Fuck your ex, he's missing out"
    .. and bunch of other whiteknight shit.

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    • "it's not as genuine since they're only being nice to get with you... or in you pants. " Totally! Your whole comment is spot on and exactly what I've been told haha.
      I love the picture!

    • Thanks! I'll admit, at one point, I was one of those guys standing in line back in highschool BUT at the very least, I was first in line lol.

What Guys Said 18

  • There are some factors :-

    Gender:
    Generally, this situation is completely opposite in case of guys. When I was dating, I was approached by two girls (one of them was my past crush) but now I'm single, I see the female affection to be non-existent towards me.
    Why? elitedaily.com/.../ (can be a lost charm or dealing with grudge)
    But in case of girls, there is a long 'waiting' line (generally). It's obvious to expect invitations and notice such zeal.

    Outlook:
    [Your] No doubt, after the break-up the perspective of the people starts changing. While in the relationship, people tend to ignore the most bodacious proposals but while being single, we try to scrutinise even the simplest hand-shake.
    [Their] A committed person will likely to find hang-outs nothing but pet peeves even if it's nothing more than comradeship. So guys will likely to start deep-seated talks with a newly single girl (who doesn't want to enhance relationships) either for benefits or their avidity (aren't they same? Yes, if you fell like your friends are changed, they ARE changed). Remember, it might be possible that they had clear intentions (not likely).

    Status:
    Apparently, I guess you are taking a break. But an unknown person can never identify whether you are taking a break or in an open relationship. It'd (always) be easier to approach a single lady as compared to the committed one. It makes the things very obvious that why you instantly became center of attraction.

    Bottom-line: Don't compare it with boys, Don't over-think, It's normal because 'you're single now'.

    PS: Sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time. Best of luck. :-)

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  • For me, it's generally been the opposite. When I'm in a relationship, I get compliments, girls will tell me they wish they were with someone like me, they'll flirt, ask me to hang out. Some have even admitted having crushes on me and said if I were ever single, they would jump at the chance at going out with me.

    Whenever I become single, that interest totally fizzles. All the girls that once told me they'd date me in a heartbeat suddenly have 0 interest, they start dating other guys and hang out with me less than when I was in a relationship.

    I think girls tend to enjoy wanting what they can't have... and when it's available, it's no longer a chase for the impossible so they lose interest. Whenever I'm back in a relationship, the attention usually picks up again and they say they wish they hadn't missed their chance.

    I find this behavior totally annoying, but I can't control how people feel about me.

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    • Same as someone else who commented. It could be that you are obviously dating material and desirable to someone when in a relationship and they do want what they can't have.
      It sometimes varies for me. I can get more male attention in a relationship than out of one but if the relationship goes on for a long time, guys back away because it appears we've got a sturdy, happy relationship.

  • Honestly I've gotten the most attention from women while in a relationship for some reason. It's been borderline disrespectful to the person I'm with sometimes.

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  • Voted D.

    I'm not even close to the same level of attractiveness as you, so i don't suppose I get a lot of attention. But I don't really want to notice, because if I really didn't get noticed, that would make me insecure. So better not bother. Besides, when have average looking men EVER got attention from women? :P

    Besides, i have been single for over 4 years now, so whether I get attention or not, doesn't really make much of a difference to me anymore.

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  • As a dude, it seems like more attention is given when you're taken, which is quite the paradox. It's almost like some women can smell it on your or something.

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  • Obviously they know that you are single now, and so that is why they are trying to hit on you. I would not hit on my friends girl if they are together lol. If we are good friends, though, then I would never hit on her at all regardless if they broke up. Those guys probably had a thing for ya already while you and your boyfriend were together.

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    • Yeah, his friend has been asking about me loads and my ex got the feeling he liked me.

    • Yeah, your ex's friend probably has a thing for you.

  • Well I sorta get attention but from girls I'm not interested in.
    The ones Im interested in are flirtasious as always but neither of us have the balls to put our balls on the line in fear of rejection.

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  • "Male friends"... oh come now, I know you can't be THIS stupid or naive. The dudes who texted you are major creeps, and your male friends more than likely want to be with you but can't because they're pathetic or not your type.

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  • been single all my live :D nobody ever gave a shit.

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  • It's hard to notice when you work 3rd shift and sleep all day.

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  • Meh. I don't really get any attention at all.

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  • doesn't make a difference, i normaly disregard every girl that pays attention to me

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  • I get more attention when I have a girl. Especially when I'm with her.

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  • Actually, just the opposite. I get far more attention when I'm in a relationship than when i'm single. Also, when I club I get a hell of a lot more attention when I have a girl with me that when I don't. It very predictable.

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  • assuming that is you in your pic, lets be real, its not hat your getting more attention right when you break up, its that you got less while you were with someone else. You're hot, you'll get the attention...

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  • I don't get attention period.

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  • Guys have it the other way around. When guys are in relationships, everyone wants to flirt with them. The second they are single, crickets start chirping. When I had a girlfriend tons of girls, including strangers, told me that they thought I was cute and seemed disappointed I was in a relationship. The second I became single, nothing. Tried asking a few girls out, all of them said no. I'd say that's more annoying, I wish it was the other way around. Went from 'on demand' to almost nothing for the last 3 years.

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    • Yeah, girls seem to want what they can't have. When I've been in relationships, the guy usually does get way more attention from females, to my dismay.

    • Yeah I wish that women would just focus on the single guys, believe me it's no fun for men or women who are single or taken when this happens. It's just generally sucky. Maybe you can give women that memo? That'd be swell.

  • All of those male friends finally reveal their true feelings and show their hand and yet men and women can be friends? Yeah...

    I don't think it's true of all women, you've just surrounded yourself with orbiters (men that fancy you, linger around hoping to get with you in the future) hence why you're getting a lot of attention.

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    • They were only messing around because a couple of them are single. It didn't have anything behind it and my friend has said about it when I was in a relationship. We're still very much platonic, they don't even find me that attractive.

    • Ok...

What Girls Said 9

  • I'm not sure because I've never been in a real relationship but I already get a decent amount of attention from guys.

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  • To me this tends to be a difference between men and women. When I'm in a relationship and a guy knows it, they're totally hands off for the most part. The second I become single, they flock.

    Men tend to get hit on MORE when they're in a relationship. I read a study about this once, and it is because (supposedly) when men see a girl they are interested in they think "I want a girl like that" when women see a man they're interested in they think "I want HIM"

    When women see a man in a relationship, they see someone who isn't afraid of commitment, which is attractive. After all, as they say, "The biggest pussy magnet a man can have is a wedding ring"

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  • Sweetie -- look at you. Stylish, young, and curvy. If you DID NOT get more attention, then I would be worried. Just the way of the dating world... take the flattery and the compliment that you are desirable.

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  • Somewhat but I think when you become single you notice the attention from others more than when you are in a relationship. The times that I have been single and felt like I received more attention really had nothing to do with me not being in a relationship anymore because guys were just trying their luck and had no idea if I was with someone or not.

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  • This reminded me that chapter of the open window in HIMYM

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  • Uh no, nothing has changed lol. If anything im ignored more... melodramatic i know

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  • Sorry. I'm single and never had any guy express interest. 😓

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  • Yes, absolutely agree! This actually happened when I went on holiday in Europe and met up with some old male friends. Suddenly. I discover that a number of them have had feelings for me... WTF.

    I was so peeved! Some were even trying to kiss me! They were absolutely self-serving.

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  • I'm still dating someone, and I can easily say that I've had more guys attracted to me WHILE I was dating vs single. Maybe it's because I finally care about someone's opinion and put an effort towards my appearance.

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