I don't think I can ever trust guys?

I just have always either heard about guys cheating on me or my friends or guys having girls on the side etc etc. My dad cheated on my mom... all my friends boyfriends cheat on them and stuff too so what do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Check out the way your friends and behave, and then don't behave that way. If you actually satisfy your man's sexual needs he has no reason to cheat. And if you're not a crazy bitch who's impossible to be around, he won't have an excuse not to feel guilty for cheating on you.

    You can do everything right in a relationship, and he still might cheat on you, provided he's that type of guy. Myself, i'd never sign on to a committed relationship if i thought there would be that temptation. But if you're the perfect girlfriend, it'll make it that much harder to go through with it, and in the end, even if it does end badly... well think of it this way, if you went to disneyland and at the end of the day it rains and ruins everything, at least you still had a whole day of fun. Wouldn't you rather a good thing that later stops being a good thing then no good thing at all? Don't let the fear of what might happen stop you from having the fun that WILL happen. Just cherish it all the more until that day comes--IF that day comes, when its gone.

    But most importantly if this is what you're worried about, try to be a sweet person. Too many girls make their motto that whole obnoxious Marilyn Monroe thing, "if you can't accept me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". Thinking guys just have to suck it up and accept their multitude of faults or they're not going to get laid. But thats the number one thing that makes guys cheat, is having a girlfriend they can't stand who withholds sex as a weapon.

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    • The thing is why do girls have to go out of their way to please a man to make him stay in a relationship? That is by far the most messed up thing about this. The whole I will do everything to make you stay with me, so you don't cheat on me. But what about the girls? Why shouldn't guys and girls EQUALLY try to please each other? ( im not a feminst just sayin)

    • are you kidding me? why do guys have to go out of their way to please girls? if you want to be attractive to men then be attractive to men. don't act like a bitch, forget to give a shit about what he wants or needs and expect him to stick around. you really want to complain about actually having to put effort into a relationship? because if you're seriously interested in equality in relationships then you better recognize guys try WAYYYYYYY harder at it then girls have or ever will. courtship is demeaning to men, commitment is a crutch for terrible women, y'all act like a bunch of entitled ass cretins and you wonder why we cheat

What Guys Said 13

  • That's the whole point of relationships - to see if you can trust him/her. That's why most people need years to find the right one. To be afraid of cheating is like being afraid of falling down the stairs. Sometimes it happens. If it does - good riddance. Better to find out sooner than later when there are children involved. I had a talk with my GF and we both agreed if one day one of us wants out we simply say so. No cheating. No lying. Complete honesty no matter how much it hurts. Fear is supposed to keep you on your toes, not stop you completely.

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  • Generalization fallacy--
    "I've met like 15 guys who haven't been that great to me, therefore 3.5 billion men are untrustworthy"

    Making a false conclusion based on insufficient evidence. You could be unlucky and meet 1000 untrustworthy guys in a row but you still wouldn't even have close to sufficient evidence. Realistically at that point the problem is probably with you anyways.

    Men and women are similar in a lot of ways. Both can be trustworthy or untrustworthy. It has nothing to do with gender, rather it has to do with human nature.

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  • I literally created this question with you and a few other people in mind.

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a8254-a-hard-knocks-lesson-on-the-truth-of-giving-your-trust-out-having

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  • People cheat primarily if they see higher reward in cheating than risk. If a person has no reason to cheat, they don't. Of course, it helps if the person thinks cheating is wrong in the first place, some people don't realize the problem.

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  • basically you shuld understand that not every guy's the same ;-)

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  • There are plenty of honorable, loyal, trustworthy men out there. You just have to find them.

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  • Well my ex cheated on me... a lot, my advice is look at it from LOYAL guys perspective, they're out there waiting to find the one and are having trouble trusting girls cause of everything they've gone through, all you need to do is fond one of those trustworthy loyal guys.

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  • Guys innately want to have multiple women, it's just how we are. Not every guy cheats, but the propensity to cheat is in every guys mind. To what degree depends on the guy of course.

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    • Speak for yourself.

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    • ... we'll see if I honestly will start to have sex with completely random women I barely even find appealing as people :P

    • @Mesonfielde Not what I meant, and you know it lol.

  • i don't know how it's so friggin hard not to cheat.

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  • That's funny, I can't ever trust girls.

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  • You hope that the next guys won't cheat on you

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  • I don't blame you seeing as a lot of guys you know have committed acts of infidelity and but remember there are guys out there who won't cheat, you just have to stumble across one of those men.

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  • Well if it's any consolation, I've never cheated on anyone and wouldn't even dream of it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, I am pleased to inform you that not all males cheat, lie, or deceive. What i am sad to inform you of, is that unfortunately there are some in this world that do.

    But, there are a few small signs that can help you recognize those kinds of 'boys', because men worthy of calling themselves men, do not cheat.

    first, past behavior and habits is a good indicator of future behavior. If a guy has cheated in the past, is cheating on another girl to be with you, condones or encourages friends cheating, or has a history of lying, chances are that he is at a higher risk to cheat, or to break your trust is some way. It is best to steer clear of these guys.

    Second, if a guy seems secretive about things, such as giving indirect answers about his whereabouts or who his friends are, or hides or seems overly possessive about his phone or laptop, it could be signs of a potential cheater. Or just a guy into some shady things.

    And third is some advice to you:

    Trust, and trust wholeheartedly whenever you start a new relationship. Remember that all people are different, and that all people deserve a chance and a clean slate upon starting out in a brand new relationship. Explain your fears, and your worries, and your experiences with the male role models in your life, and make sure you are able to communicate those. Make sure to emphasize how important trust is to you, and than once you have given your trust, expect nothing from them. By learning how to trust, and expect nothing, you cannot get hurt if they decide to cheat, because you are prepared for it. If you never expected them not too, than your expectations won't be let down.

    And if someone cheats? Move on, and wipe that slate clean again. Remember that the next man, is not the previous man. And remember that good guys truly do exist out there.

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  • When you enter into a relationship, you have to love like you'll never be hurt. If you don't you will become paralyzed by the fear of him cheating. You can never have a happy, fulfilled relationship with that constant fear.

    As long as you can trust your own judgement, that's all that matters. You have to be able to trust that you are able to handle any situation that arises within a relationship. Before entering a relationship, you need to feel emotionally strong and secure, that way the fears you have will subside. The only way to know if you can trust someone is, to actually trust in them.

    By trusting someone you get one of two results, either a friend for life, or a lesson in life.

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