I think I'm terrible at relationships. Here's why. I get really offended when someone doesn't like me. So when I'm dating someone, if they don't contact/reply to me as much as I think they should, I get upset and obsessive. I check my phone every five seconds, I check my email and Facebook and all the other stuff all the time, and I get mad when there's nothing in my inbox. I agonize over it, I wake up in the middle of the night to check my phone, etc.
The funny thing is, I'm often not even romantically interested in the people that I'm obsessing over. It just upsets me that they don't like me, lol.
I sound like a crazy person, but I'm not really. I don't really even mention it to the people that I'm dating. I just obsess over it by myself, and in the process, I confuse "being in love so my heart jumps when I get a message" and "waiting for a reply and being relieved when I get a message". So I basically just trick myself into dating people that I don't even like for a long time, when I really should have told them no after a couple of dates.
Does anyone else have this kind of problem? I'm a high achiever and I have high self-esteem (although, who knows, maybe we all secretly have low self-esteem) so I think that's where my problem stems from. I try to think long and hard about whether I like my dates now, but that already feels wrong. I feel like love should be easier than this. Maybe this means that I've never really been in love.
Most Helpful Guy
What you are is OCD and a control freak. You have control over almost all aspects of your life; however, you don't have control over this thing called love. Because you cannot control it, it's normal to have doubt. Because you can't control this, your subconscious is doubting all the other aspects that makes you special or fantastic. Maybe you're not as good as you think. If you're such a great person, why don't guys just grovel over you? Honestly, I just don't think you found the right guy yet. More importantly, you're going to have to understand people's behavior better. Guys maybe interested in you, but they don't want to be door mats or be presumed as needy. They will take their time and play some games to try to keep you interested. Just relax.0