Changing mind about having children (guys please)?

My boyfriend and I have been dating over a year, and plan to move in with each other when summer hits. First things first don't nag me this is a serious question for me that really is stressing me out. OK here it goes: We are seniors in high school who neither can see life without the other but not in that goo-y moo-y kind of way. Here's the dilemma he is very adamant about not having kids, not liking them but he also says things like "If we ever have a kid they will hate me or adore me" or "I want to name my son Jedidiah" or even "I'm going to teach our daughter how to kick a guys ass." Right now he is only 18 so I think that might be why he says the no kids thing.

My question is do you think his mind will change as he ages?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think kids should not be a serious topic of discussion in your relationship at this point in time, and any conversation you do have about kids should not be taken seriously, no matter how much you want to. Do I think he will change his mind? I don't know. I didn't want kids when I was 17, and I still don't want kids now. I don't see myself changing my mind, but there are many who do. You shouldn't pressure him, and you don't need to be with him necessarily. You are still in highschool for gods sake. Kids shouldn't even be on the table at ALL. Also a good question to ask yourself is, do you need kids? How inflexible are you about having kids? It is possible (but not certain) that he is just as inflexible about not having them. The point is, you shouldn't worry about this now, and when you should start thinking about kids, you shouldn't ruin someone's life trying to do it, finding someone who wants kids is very realistic and you should prepare to let go if he doesn't change his mind in the future.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, it probably will. You are still so young. I used to think I could *never* be a good father, and I didn't make enough money, and I would lose my temper and beat the children, etc. But then I dated some single mommies, and I saw how others were raising their children, and I thought "Heck, even at my worst, I could be better than lots of these people!"

    He is only 18. When you are 28, he will likely think differently, and when you are 38, he will *totally* feel differently.

    However, DON'T ever make a "mistake" and try to entrap him. He will feel "stabbed in the back" and be very resentful. Just give it time.

  • Maybe. You're both quite young and have a lot to discover about yourselves. Don't be in a rush either way. Live a little before you worry about that too much.

    Obviously, it's an important issue to see eye to eye on, so just keep that in mind as you get some experience under your belt. But at your age, I wouldn't worry too much about that yet.


What Girls Said 1

  • He may, or may not.
    You guys need to discuss it before you get too serious though, or that'll be trouble