Is it okay for a 20 year old to date a 16 year old?

My son has a new girlfriend, he's 20 and she's 16. It makes me uncomfortable. Would it make you uncomfortable?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's kind of funny seeing the difference between guys and girls on this one. First of all, make sure you're aware of age of consent laws in your jurisdiction. In many places it is 16, but if it's 17 or 18 and there is any sexual aspect to that relationship, your son could get in some serious trouble.

    As I'm sure you realize, four years becomes less of a big deal by the time both people are in their 20s, but the difference between 16 and 20 is a pretty big difference. It's the difference, potentially, between a junior in high school and a junior in college. It's the difference between going to prom and sneaking into bars (unless you're outside of the US, in which case, there would be no sneaking necessary). It's often the difference between sex being a really big deal and sex being a fairly normal part of a relationship. That being said, it's possible that this girl is unusually mature; I knew a few girls in high school who were clearly beyond the maturity levels of the boys around them and needed to be with someone older. That was pretty rare, though. I'd also wonder about the maturity level of your son. If he's okay dating someone who is that much younger, I'd question whether there might be some sort of arrested development in his maturation process.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Yes. She's a sophomore or junior in high school and he's at least 2 years out. He could be halfway done with college. 4 year is nothing later on, but in those ages, I think so. In some states it may even be illegal.

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  • It isn't that big of an age difference but I feel like there might be a maturity problem. I don't think a 16 has matured enough to date someone that much older than them

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  • If her parents aren't okay with it and they find out they have been sexually active then that could mean jail time for your son depending on the age of consent in your state. He is grown now though and you can't control who he sees but you should at least warn him

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  • It may be only 4 years but there would be a big difference in maturity. I wouldn't be happy about it either.

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  • Yes it would. Big maturity difference. Can't imagine her parents are pleased.

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  • If she is not a legal adult where you live its a bad idea. Too many risks..

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  • I think it's alright just as long as sex isn't involved

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  • Only if he is far more mature and clever than her it's kinda creepy combined with her youth.
    But girls mature pretty fast and if your son is not the sharpest tool in the shed, I don't see creepy.

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  • It would make me uncomfortable and I'd want to get to know her better to see if she's mature enough for a slightly more grown up relationship. Also, if it's not the age of consent in my state, I'd worry for my son's legal accountability. If my son was an asshole (hey, it happens) I'd want to make sure he isn't being manipulative to a more naive person. That age gap can really go every which way.

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  • When I was 16. I had a friend dating someone 21 (she was 16 as well) and my boyfriend was 19

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What Guys Said 7

  • Sounds like trouble, since they're young enough that 1) you know they're fooling around at the very least, and 2) anything they do could be statutory rape in court.

    Given the very, very liberal swing of things going on right now if you're an American, I'd at least warn him that jail time is likely in his future if he pursues it.

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  • Depends on where you live. It's frowned upon.

    I don't see the appeal of 16 year olds when there are stunning college girls.

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  • It's not okay. That's against the law.

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  • In my country, it would be illegal.

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  • As long as her parents know, then it should be okay.

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  • In my country it's common actually so I don't know what's the problem

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  • yes it's age if just a number you can't help who you fall in love with,
    do you know how the girls parents feel about?

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    • According to my son, they don't mind.

    • well his a adult you have to let him get on with it and make his own mind up no matter what happens

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