Why is it taking him so long to ask me out?

I'm 14 and he's 16. He' really nice and makes me feel amazing, we text everyday for hours and we hug and talk in the halls. We text on the weekends, but not as much because he works with his dad on the weekend and our school is really rigorous and assigns bucket loads of homework.
I know a lot about from his favorite color and movies to his family dynamics and to what he's going to do after high school. He asks a lot about me too. It's been two months and I'm starting to wonder when he's going to ask me out.
He said he likes me and it's apparent he does when we see each other in person. I told him I liked him too.
He even talks about what we should do when we date and he talks about us in the future. I asked him "so if you're talking about the future, when are we actually going to go out?" and he said he wants to know me completely.
Should I expect him to ever ask me out?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lots of guys are afraid. And many are also really unsure as to what they are getting themselves into. Basically, he wants to get to know you more- and this could be good because you two will be so comfortable with each other by the time you date. This could also be bad because dating you could not even be in his book. I once knew a guy... And I kept reading your question because it sounds exactly like my old situation. He liked me and I liked him and we always spoke and texted. One day, we both kind of stopped talking due to business, confusion, and mixed signals. Does he have a lot of other "close female friends"? Because if he does you need to keep an eye, some guys like to have multiple backups if one doesn't work. Anyways, we slowly faded away when there was so much. If you truly have feelings for him, do. Not. Let. This. Happen. To. You. Because it could happen so easily without you even noticing due to busy homework schedules and everything. To directly answer your question:
    No, you should not expect him to ask you out. Don't get your hopes up unless you give him solid reasons for him to ask you out. Give him compliments. Talk more. Become even more close. Flirt- flirt- flirt!! Just be your natural self- don't change yourself because of what he wants. Don't expect him to ask him out. But what you should do is give him reasons to ask you out. Even make the first move (I know- scary right?) but many guys actually are afraid at first, but once you give them that little push- man they go speeding fast. He could be scared or really anything could be holding him back- and that's what you have to do- you have to get to know him so well that you'll know why he hasn't asked you out. Be yourself. Flirt. Care for him. Don't change yourself and don't get your hopes too high. Just be yourself, as a woman, and work it.

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    • Thank you :) and I don't see him hanging out with girls ever. I see him hanging out with some guys, but he's usually by himself.

What Guys Said 3

  • Some guys, like my stupid self, take a looong time because we're hesitant. At least you know he likes you... I've never even said that to any girl. He'll ask you out eventually. But if you know this much already, why can't you just ask him out?

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    • I'm not really sure how I should ask him out and he usually works on the weekends with his dad and when he works on school days he gets home at 5. He's workplace isn't far from my house, should I ask to hang out on a school day?

    • Sure. I mean, I think some people go out at like 8 o clock sometimes because most people work til evening. The one date I went on started at like 8, and the other one I tried to plan would've started at 6. So, sure, if he doesn't use the "too tired" excuse, then you should ask him out for a weekday.

  • Well maybe he's just scared. Many guys are afraid of asking a girl out even when they know that she likes him. Most of my bros always look for the perfect moment to ask a girl out. I say give him another 2 weeks and if he doesn't do anything start playing the jealousy card, that always makes a person realize that could easily lose what they love if they don't wake up and ask the girl out

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    • How do you play the jealousy card?

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    • No, not much. All I know is his last girlfriend was in Freshmen year and his a junior. He said he doesn't deal with the girls at our school since then. My friends who knew him before me said he used to be a big flirt and then after me he stopped flirting with girls.

    • Well ask his bros to push him towards asking you out and give him 2 weeks, if there is nothing going on then you have to play the jealousy card

  • I wouldn't have dated a 14yo when I was 16.

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    • He knows I'm 14 and he said its not really a big deal. I'm graduating the year after him.

What Girls Said 2

  • Don't play the jealousy card. If he already hesitate being this comfortable, he for sure would back off if he knew there was someone else. Just tell him that you want to take your relationship to the next level: actually dating.

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    • Just straight out say that?

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    • Always better in person. But choose whatever you want.

    • Okay, thank you!! :)

  • Why not reverse it and ask him out?

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    • Because he wants to get to know me more and for me to know him more, but still I don't see why we can't go on a simple date.

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