My boyfriend collects anime figures and it bothers me anyone else have this problem?

a lot of the figures he buys are overly sexualized and what I mean buy this they remove there clothes and well posed inappropriately. he has dozens and dozens of these dolls. I don't mind the normal action figure but these dolls bother me immensely. so if any girls dated someone like this how did you deal and any guys who do this could u explain it to me? I've been trying for months to figure it out but I've failed. please help

Updates:
I chose this one because you are only one who didn't tell me I was being irrational or that my bf was a creep. You actually tried to help by putting yourself in my shoes

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow that sucks. I know a lot of people have said to just let him be but I can totally put myself in your shoes and see how it would bother me too. I think if it was me I would think "Why does he need these dolls if he has me? Am I not enough?" Call me a girl and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but I think it is a problem. I know most guys won't see it this way but it's probably more than just a harmless hobby and there's something more serious going on with him. I would talk to him and tell him that it bothers you and why. If he won't change then you need to think about whether this is a deal breaker or not.

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    • It sounds kind of like a reflection of the attitude in society of oversexualizing women and ignoring everything else about them as humans.

      If it were me, I wouldn't worry about it if he were more of a feminist in the rest of his life, so I knew that's not how he sees women. I can easily see him not thinking it's a big deal, and not being aware of how uncomfortable it could make a woman.

      Be gentle when you talk to him - given the responses here, it's clear it's not HIM so much, you know? Keep it on why it makes you feel uncomfortable. It might be handy going into that conversation to know ahead of time what you'd love to hear him say, and some potential compromises with him. Do you want him to throw away a collection that cost him hundreds if not thousands of dollars? (I don't know how big it is) Would you be happy if he kept it out of the main room of the house, only bought them occasionally, and read up on feminist theory? Etc. Good luck!

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    • ^he won't be dating if he has the mental control of buddha! ! lol

    • I know a couple guys who claim enlightenment (though not on buddha's level), and they are both married.

What Guys Said 53

  • Geez, a guy can't collect stuff? I have 3 little anime figs on my own sitting on my desk and really like them. I didn't know you could take their clothes off but I don't think I'll do that because they look really fragile. But I like anime because the stories have very unusual and interesting premises and characters that you just don't see anywhere else. If I had more money I might consider collecting little figures of my favorite characters. But they're pretty expensive. I think they're harmless. I see some of these other responses saying he should see a shrink. You'd think he hid a p*rn mag in a bible that he hollowed out and was caught by the priest. If you just can't stand them, then say so. He'll either explain it or get rid of them. But in Japan, collecting these are considered rather normal and even women buy them. I really don't think it's that bad.

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  • I collect a few of these, but probably not as many as your boyfriend. I collect the ones I have because I find them aesthetically beautiful in some way or another. Either the facial expression, the attire, the specific character, or something about them just makes them beautiful. I don't have a fetish and I don't see them as "attractive" in the manner some are saying. They're just a figurine that's beautiful and nothing more. The downside to them is that there are more sexualized figures than non-sexualized depending on the character.

    In your case, have you talked to him about it specifically and not in passing? Every hobby and every collection has a trigger and a reason. I collect certain things, but not everything in that genre is what I collect. For instance I collect Funko Pop figures and Beauty and the Beast stuff, but I don't buy them all. I only buy the stuff I buy for specific reasons. Just ask him about it in a non-confrontational way such as asking where he got each one, why he bought that specific one, which is his favorite and why, and get him to explain his reason and method of collecting. You may find out that the collection has no sexual reasoning and is just a hobby like baseball cards or comic books, but you would at least be able to understand it better.

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  • This is a strange thought. But, in your position... I'd move one. And, I don't mean hide it or anything. I mean just move it (like a few inches to the left when he is out doing something). And, see if he notices (and if he does notice how he reacts)... maybe invite a friend over to hang out in the main part of the house before he returns... just in case this is more of an issue then you think it is.

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  • Wow, I had to read this one twice to make sure I got it! in my opinion there is no explaining it, beyond the reality that he has a need to have props for a fantasy. With so many of these dolls, and the fact that he removes the clothing, it suggests that he has an unnatural fascination and obsession that probably interferes with his real life. I can't imagine that it doesn't, and it certainly affects you, because it bothers you. I don't think there's anything wrong with you! However, because of his obsession, it's unlikely that you could ever effect change in his behavior, so I suggest that you evaluate your relationship and recalibrate your expectations, given that his doll fetish will probably only continue and grow. Can you live with that? Does he ever involve you in his fantasies with his plastic harem?

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  • I actually watch a decent amount of anime and the whole thing is super sexualized. Honestly, he may be one of those guys who likes the 2d girls and stuff, which is a weird fetish in my opinion, but to each his own. I think you should get his opinion on it and try not to come off as attacking him, more trying to understand his views on it. I guess so long as it does not detract form his interest in you (you seem pretty cute from your pic), I guess it is not too bad...

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  • I actually know what you're talking about and where you're coming from. I find them to be more than a little creepy, personally.

    Like, I can see how it's a sexual fantasy, but it's also just extremely creepy to me... like he thinks about women as possessions.

    Kind of like this big fat guy from Paranoia Agent, who gets done having sex with a prostitute, and then starts thanking all of his dolls for the orgasm in a really, really creepy manner

    vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/.../latest

    Does this pic seem familiar? :P

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  • I can understand this, it is basically p*rn he can put in plan site. I see nothing wrong with his taste but it would bother me if my gf had pictures or dolls of hot men all over the place.

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  • It's a fetish sure, it I don't see the harm. It's not fair for you to ask him to give it up, but if it does bother you and you plan on being there a while then ask him to trade it out. In exchange for him giving up the figures, you be the toy. He's not after the toy, it's just a sexual fetish that entered into his head at some point, and it is rather healthy considering there are people out there who have sex with cars, in fur suits, and switch roles ( depending on who you talk to the last two are vanillia.)

    Just offer to roleplay with him on a couple of his favorites. he'll probably label you as a keeper and be very easy to convince to do stuff... Maybe take you to a chick flick you been hinting at, surprise you with flowers maybe?

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    • dumbass, he obviously has a problem, all fetishes are problems

    • A fetish is an attraction to an object. Say you think a girl looks good in high heels, that's a fetish. You like long hair, fetish. Short skirts... See where I'm going with this?

  • He defintly sounds obsessed with vicarious sexuality... can you get him to see a counselor, someone objective?

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    • Why should he have to change? He is not cheating on her and is just another hobby..

  • LOL, what a weirdo. Dont look through his computer. Its probably full of hentai bondage P*rnography .

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  • The only person who seems to have a problem with it is you. Also anime in itself is pretty sexualized, as for his collecting it doesn't seem to have a negative impact on his life and no body seems to care that he does it. So just leave it be poking at it will only cause more problems.

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  • I don't see you getting him to stop without counseling especially since he doesn't want to stop. Your options now are deciding for yourself if you can be with someone that has this kind of hobby or not. It is weird. But I'm wondering if he just kept them in a box somewhere out of site, would it still bother you?
    If the answer is, no they wouldn't. Then you should talk to him about how you feel about his toys and bring up him maybe packing them away when you are around.

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  • Lmao I wish I could buy some of those but since I live with my parents I'm too ashamed to get them. Listen they are just toys / figurines, he does not love them, he probably does not masturbate to them and even if he did, most guys masturbate to something aren't you happier knowing that he's not looking at other real women? Just let them keep his toys, as long as he's not taking them out for dinner instead of taking you he's fine.

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  • It being inappropriate is only your opinion and I think it's important you recognize that. I'd imagine he has his own complaints with you as well. If it bothers you I'd tell him how you feel while recognizing that he is his own person and if something like that is a deal breaker for you then you'll just have to move on.

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  • Well... You either accept it or you dont. It's part of his personality and life. If it does affects you ask him to make a choice but no one should have rights to somehow blame someone for having specific hobbies.

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  • It just sounds like a hobby. I'd say let him be, as long as it isn't negatively affecting the relationship or something.

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  • Whether or not the figures are a substitute for you, it's disrespectful for him to do something if it clearly bothers you.

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  • That's pretty awkward but it's not like he's cheating on you or trying to replace you with them.

    Now if he ever gets a sex doll or a fleshlight, RUN.

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  • Aha, I read this earlier didn't realize it was you.

    That stuff is like p*rn for guys into any me, otakus and the like. Weird thing is, apparently flesh and bone wins over p*rn . Though these are cartoon figures, I have a couple of cousins and a female friend heavily into this and there's no substitutes for their super skinny, huge purple eyed, green haired "porn stars".

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  • Your bf is very lucky for you to not leave him I mean personally I don't find anything wrong with it its not like he is cheating. Those dolls are just like fantasies.

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  • a little odd if you ask me

    I get its fun seeing naked women but to have like figures of them in doll form is surely a little creepy to me

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  • It's has nothing to do about sex. My brother used to collect these dolls and he also draw anime female sketches. After that, he moved on collecting transformer toys and get obsessed with it. As he explains, is more of an art thing; the figures, the details in all of it. The female body of course is a perfect fit from that point of view so you'll be seeing a lot of female models next to their evangelion and gundam figures.

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  • It's a harmless hobby. why not try to ge his attention more and understand his personal preferences instead of criticizing him over it? everyone has a kinky side and he just admires attractive female characters. Just show him that you can be more attractive than those dolls.

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  • Be glad he doesn't have a life sized anise doll to (ahem) with.

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  • It shouldn't bother you unless he's asking you to dress up like these things

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  • It's just something he is interested in. If these dolls don't affect your relationship or the way he treats you, I don't see why he should get rid of them. If you are truly bothered by them, then ask him if he would be willing to get rid of them. If not, then you need to make a choice between staying with him for who he is and what he likes, or leaving him.

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  • First off, I hope you asked him why & for what purpose he has them before taking any other opinions, especially off the internet. Also, to what ValentinaPR said, there`s no way dolls would be a replacement of you, that`s silly. That is unless he has very, VERY severe psychological issues, in which case you should get him to a professional immediately.

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    • I wouldn't say they're a replacement either, but they could be a supplement, which is still hurtful to her. I agree she has to talk to him and figure out what's going on tho.

  • I assume it's japanese? Your boyfriend is into hentai. Most guys 99% are into that since it allows them see their sexual fantasies. My uncle has A LOT but his wife doesn't really seem to care since they were friends since they were children. It's not good for their kids though lol.

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  • for most problems on this site, the first step is: TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.

    come back after you've done that and we can discuss things.

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    • For Pete's sake I would have asked for some help if I didn't already discuss it with him it's kind of last resort to turn to the internet so don't assume

  • He's a young guy. Yes, Guys do silly stuff like that. The real question is how he treats you.

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What Girls Said 13

  • My bf has anime figurines not as many or as sexual as what you described but they are pretty bad he hasn't bought any in recent years. I am also into anime but I have an issue with one of them he has I haven't said anything because:
    a) it's in the back corner you would have to look to see it
    b) He doesn't really pay much attention to them
    and
    c) I don't live with him and it's not like he is having sex with them so I really have no place to complain

    I know in his previous relationships his gfs had issues with them and he more or less I think resented them for resenting his hobbies (he is a bit of a closet geek).

    What I would suggest just mention you don't like them in passing and leave it at that. You don't want him to feel like you resent his hobbies. If you don't live with him you can only comment in passing about how much money he is spending on his hobby and just say you are concerned. If you do live with him you have more say in finances and how he decorates.

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  • Haha oh man, I'm a girl and I collect a few figures like this too :) I really like Super Sonico~ They're so cute and beautiful, I don't see any harm in it. ^^ They're also not real, I think of them as art. However, if my significant other had "dozens and dozens" of naked anime figures displayed in his room I think I would be a little uncomfortable with it as well. Especially if the only reason he's collecting them is for the fact that you can take their clothes off, not because he's a fan of the character. They're also quite expensive, so if all his money is going towards this otaku lifestyle, that could be more of a serious issue that he may need some help with.

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  • Just because he collects them doesn't mean its what he Is attracted to them. The figures may be from his favorite anime and therefore he will collect them. I collect a few from my favorite animes and they are as you described, oversexual but that isn't the reason I am collecting them.
    If it bothers you this much, the best thing to do is tell him. He may not realize they bother you so immensly. If he still insists on having them, try buying ones for him that aren't so overly sexy. In conclusion though, I doubt he will continue to waste his money on them if he knows how much they bug you, some can cost an arm and a leg. You should also think of them as a collectors item like a man who collects baseball cards or hockey pucks

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  • hahahahaha what really oh my god. he buys the sex animes. the ero toys. Holy shit. haahahahaha

    id k I mean. what does he do with them? Does he have them like, in his bedroom? In his livingroom! Are they on display? Or does he keep them in like a box under his bed. And the box kinda smells a little but like just a little, and you don't know of what, but you can smell it.

    I have no idea what to tell you lmao. My instinct is like 'run' honestly. He's probably a fucked up weeabo who uses 4chan /c/

    ask him who his waifu is

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  • Anime is sexual, i have a friend who watched a lot of Anime and Manga and she is always drewling over their boobs lol he plays the games too so... it's just a thing, some guys are into that.

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  • My ex collected WWE figures, video games and consoles that are not even in existence anymore he also liked anime games and p*rn . Did I find it odd? yes this is something he was doing before I came into his life and he has every right to do what makes him happy. Whatever reason your bf like to collect these dolls for, it should not other you and you should not let it bother you.

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  • ... As an anime fan, I find that perfectly normal. He's a nerd. Big whoop.

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  • Personally it wouldn't bother me If my boyfriend did that, they're just dolls

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  • Its pretty weird.. but why do these dolls bother you immensely?

    I say its ok cause they are just figures (dolls) but try to figure why it bothers you... if there is something bothering you then there I something missing in the relationship...

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  • Yeah, to be honest, as sexual as I am, (pant pant)
    that might bother me

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  • Yeah kind of weird, unless you're like, 10. Lol

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  • I had an ex that did this he also used to watch animation p*rn until I talked to him about it and told him why it bothers me and he stopped after that

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  • I have no experience with that

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