MEN MEN MEN!!! I need your opinion?

Me and this guy have been talking for about two months. He's been busy working a turnaround, his father has terminal cancer and he's not doing good, and he has a two year old daughter. I am falling for him. He's already told me that he's interested in me and that he likes me a lot.

He quit talking to me for about two days and I texted him to find out what was going on. He just told me his dad is getting worse off. Then he told me he can't get into a relationship right now because he has too much going on.

We got into a little bit of a heated argument tonight and the way the conversation started off was by him saying "move on." I about lost it. I only want him. And I understand right now that is nearly impossible. But I stressed that I will take what I can get right now. He said that wouldn't be fair to me. And deep down, I want to believe him but I also know we feel the same about each other and I just want him! The conversation ended with him saying "just please give me some time to think about all of this. Because I don't know of I can do this." It just sucks cause I know how he feels. Life is just happening and causing us to not be able to be together right now. Do you think I have any hope of him saying anything positive in my favor?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This guy is trying to keep it together:
    -for himself, as his father enters his final days
    -for his daughter, who is losing her grandfather and also seeing her daddy upset
    -to keep his job (turnaround meaning oil industry?)
    -for his family, again with this very hard time

    You have unfortunately come at the worst possible time. He can't be dealing with all the wonderful feelings of a new woman in his life one moment and dealing with all this stress and shit and pain the next. He knows that as much as he'd love to try, it wouldn't end well and he likes you enough to be honest and doesn't want you to wait around because he doesn't know when he'll come out the other side of this (even after his dad passes, it could well be a long road until he feels ready).

    He's probably just as frustrated as you that it can't happen right now, that if he'd met you six months ago or six months from now then it could have been so good. Getting angry at him about this is the absolute worst thing you could have done. He has his priorities and a girl he's messaging couldn't be top of the list or he'd be a lousy guy in all the aspects I listed above.


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What Guys Said 4

  • As one who has taken care of terminally ill people, I can safely say that if he says "move on," it's probably a wise idea. I know you feel you will take what you can get, but what if what you can get is virtually nothing? Is that fair to you? Is it fair that he has to divide his attention?

    Understand that dealing with a terminally ill person is a 24/7 ordeal. It consumes you. You have very little energy, and that includes emotional energy, to deal with anything else, even positive and wonderful things.

    I know you want him and I know you believe you are willing to take what you can get, but what you can get at this point is not much, if anything at all. I suggest you do move on, for the sake of everyone involved. I know it can seem that fate loves a joke at our expense, but such is life, I'm afraid. If you find another good man who is available, then awesome! If not, then perhaps you can approach this guy when his affairs are more in order, but don't count on that.

    Good luck. I hope you find love in the arms of a good man.

  • Ok there miss you need to calm down and Men have Emotional periods too Espescially that's his father dying in the hospital bed do you know how wmuch emotional pain he is going through? You need to give him some time and space ok Send him som flowers with a note on it to his house

  • I'd say try to understand his situation. If you really like him, for the time being, try to be there for him and maybe when things cool down to two get get back to where you were.

  • Why are you putting more pressure on the guy? His father is dying, he probably needs some space.

    • I am not putting any pressure on the guy! He's the one who told me to move on. Things got heated and then I was accepting of everything he said. I told him I'd take what I can get because at that point I figured I had nothing more to lose. He then told me he needed time to think about it. I told him I respected his decision and that I would always be there for him. Then he told me again that he would still think about it.

    • Maybe a silent call for help lol
      Just don't get any ideas.

What Girls Said 1

  • I would definitely respect his need for space right now, but also let him know that you are there for him and you aren't going to let this terrible time for him 1) get in the way of your potential and 2) run you off. Keep trying. Once he gets through this mess he will see how you never gave up on him and it will probably be beneficial. Plus, at some point in this he will probably want someone who he can lean on, someone who is outside of the mess to get away momentarily.