What do it mean when a guy says "I'm not ready for someone like you"?

I have been talking to this guy and everything going fine but then he text me how he is scared to be in a relationship with me.

Updates:
He told me I might be too much, for him he says I'm unpredictable.

0|0
6|33

Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok basic scenario we men deal with at least once or twice in our dating period before we tie the knot. Well it always comes down to being one of two things. In this case it is either that he does not want to be with you for some reason that he really is not sharing with you or... he is not ready for a serious relationship that could turn into something more. Now to detail the reasons for why he might not want to share with you this draws up many conclusions which follow:

    *He is not mature for the relationship and he acknowledges it
    *He finds a quality or behavior you posses which concerns him
    *He saw another girl and suddenly "fell for her"
    *He sees himself with another woman in the near future
    *His future plans and your future plans might not work hand in hand
    *He wants to end the relationship and find a new victim
    *He is just playing around and sleeping with women
    *He isn't sure of what he wants in a relationship

    There could be many other factors to determine his why you are too much for him but the only way to truly know is to communicate the issue, not fight, not argue, not discuss nor debate, communicate.

    Hope this helps

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 32

  • well I have been in that situation. One of my best friends asked me if I wanted to date her once and I turned her down for the same reason. She is kind of a wanderlust. I felt like there was no guarantee that she not just decide one day she was bored and find a job in Alaska or Iceland and take off. Mostly I felt like if I said yes it would tie her down and put her in a situation that she would not be entirely happy.

    There is nothing more scary than having someone making choices that will change their life for you. It puts a lot of commitment pressure on a relationship that may not be ready for it.

    1|1
    0|0
  • its not really you as a person, he's just not ready to take himself further.

    or it could be that he sees you as future material but doesn't want that at the moment. maybe right now he just wants to have fun.

    0|2
    1|0
  • Just an excuse that he doesn't want you... i believe ;-)

    2|3
    1|0
  • How long have you been together? It might be a sign that he believes you want to move your relationship into long-term planning, and he's in a catch-22: if he asks, you might press and he'll want to end it, probably feeling like a coward in the process, but if he doesn't he'll lose you and you'll want to end it, causing him to miss you forever as the one that got away.

    By setting the stage with "I'm not ready...", he's trying to keep control of the relationship by ending it on his terms, while trying to convince you that you're more than he deserves (and that's not to say that you can't be, but that you're probably right for each other).

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's a nice way of saying that he couldn't trust you so there is no point in starting a relationship

    0|0
    1|0
  • Bullshit, time to move on.

    1|2
    1|0
  • Could mean he isn't looking for something serious at this point in his life.

    It also could be a bs excuse to get rid of you without being mean

    0|0
    0|0
  • Either your the real deal and he isn't ready for the relationship to go that far right now because he still wants to have fun and not be tied down so he sees you as a potential wife. Or he knows he isn't shit and doesn't want to hurt you because he knows you don't deserve that

    0|0
    0|0
  • He wants to still play the field and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. He doesn't want to date you.

    1|0
    1|0
  • Really depends on the context: best guess would be he's trying to friend-zone you, only say that because that's how most girls friend zone guys. If he starts dating other girls that are of a lower grade than you, kick him to the curb and move on with your life.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Its almost identical to women who say-"i just got out of a really bad relationship and Im not looking to date". In other words they're giving an excuse because they're not attracted to you. I wish people would be honest.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Don't read into the details on what guys say. "I don't want to be with someone like you right now." Is the message you should take away from this.

    So for now, move on. Later? Deal with that when/if you get to it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You're too wild!

    0|1
    1|0
  • He probably feels insecure about himself and intimidated by you.

    He is having commitment issues and can't seem to get past them. I wouldn't necessarily give up on him, but begin searching around again because he is likely not going to work out.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well it could be that he doesn't feel worthy to take things further.

    Or that he's unsure if he wants to remain loyal to someone as of yet.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He don't like how you're unpredictable so just move on!

    0|0
    0|0
  • He ain't ready to live smh get yourself someone more exciting... he's out there ;)

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's a complete and total lie

    0|0
    0|0
  • My first crush told me 'One day I know I will want you but I know you won't want me anymore.' WTF?

    0|0
    0|0
  • That's a lame excuse for i don't wanna be tied down, its not about you, its about him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You are either wild, or he sees you as someone he could be with in the future. As a serious partner

    0|0
    0|0
  • What are your personalities? If he's introverted and you're extroverted that may explain the text... incompatibility. Actually, any incompatibility, not necessarily extro/introvert

    0|0
    0|0
  • Men view women as dating material & marriage material.
    Perhaps he viewed you as dating material while he is looking for a lady for marriage.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Politely saying to you he doesn't see you in his current plans.

    0|1
    1|0
  • plenty more fish out there

    0|0
    1|0
  • He doesn't genuinely like you.. That is what it means.. Believe me

    0|0
    0|0
  • It means if you still go for it it will just crash.

    Stop wasting your time and find another guy.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Freakin' attitude ya #MoveOn!

    0|0
    0|0
  • He may think it's not gonna be a healthy relationship.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hmm It happened to me too, but opposite gender :/ ... She said we are not meant to be together, because we are so different. Maybe you should stop talking for some time with him. Use Push Pull Technique.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    2

What Girls Said 6

  • He's probably just using that line as a way to get out of dating you without hurting your feelings. Not trying to be rude or anything, but that is just my honest opinion.

    2|2
    1|0
  • omg that is a very familiar story.
    I told the same to a guy a couple of months ago.
    He is definitely the most unpredictable and unbalanced human being I have ever met. I wasn't 'ready' to be with him, because although I liked him a lot, I knew that being in a relationship with him would be troublesome & I actually needed to be mentally ready for that, to be like 'the rock' of the relationship you know?
    I was actually pretty unbalanced at that time as well (my ex had let me very ****ed up), that's why I couldn't have an unpredictable person next to me.

    I told him I wasn't "ready for someone like him", but we are pretty much together right now (not in a formal way, but it'll probably get there). I am more balanced now and a bit more prepared so I decided to enjoy the rollercoaster.

    Hope it helps!

    0|0
    0|0
  • Basically he's telling you he's not looking for anything serious and just wants to hook up with different girls. It might be that you've given off a vibe that you are looking for something serious, which might have scared him a bit since he doesn't want to get tied down.

    2|1
    1|0
  • I can't help you just knowing this. But you have to ask him, I guess. It's the best way to know what he meant (:

    1|0
    1|0
  • Put a child on a bucking bronco and they get thrown and hurt. He knows he is not mature enough, experienced and mentally flexible.

    Unless you have some deep need to get married now, I recommend you take this time in your life like you would school, college and graduate school. Go get some experience with older, mature men who are fit and funny.

    Brains are very sexy. So is a man who in his forties is still in shape, knows how to dance and has eaten more than pizza and burgers.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He likes shagging you but that's as far as it goes

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...