How do I get this to go further without giving him sex, yet without seeming uninterested?

We started as fb friends, we were flirty then exchanged #s. He's originally from close to my home town, but works off and isn't home much. He's 35 and I'm 23. He's divorced with 4 kids, one not from the marriage. He had said before i met him that i seemed like a very sweet, smart, datable young woman, but he was too old lol. We agreed to meet, said he was so nervous and hed never dated a woman as young as i. We finally met, went and had drinks and played pool. Had a blast, i lost every game (shoulda slowed down the beers) anyways... we left and he walked me out and we kissed. It was fantastic, slow, sensual, not forceful and not inappropriate, til his had slid down and grabbed my butt. Which I had my hands/arms in his jacked bc it was freezing. He later tells me that he thinks I'm great an he digs me, in so many words, and other than saying he wants my kisses, he's never inappropriate, or sexual. I like this guy.. and I'd like to see if it could go somewhere. he's a total sweetheart, we had great convos, not just small talk (which I hate), he's sarcastic like myself, and totally hot! How do I keep it slow but keep it moving forward? He leaves the end of nxt wk for work for awhile again. I haven't really dated in a yr, i tried but it went to fast and ended or so slow it died. Advice please. The only issue I have, it eventually I think I'll want kids, he got snipped So if it did go somewhere, that would be a prob, plus he's older and has 4 already. Not concerned now bc i am not ready for that, I want to be financially sound first, on my own.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You're going to lose him because you don't want the same thing he wants. A woman is going to come along, give him sex, and then you're the third wheel. End it now unless you're willing to compromise and accept that sex is a normal part of a relationship.

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    • I know it's normal, and I enjoy sex. Just not before the second date. Is there a happy median? And he never said he didn't want more children, he just said he can't, which the surgery itself pretty much says he doesn't. But i can't make an issue bc I'm not sure that I really want children, it's just different when it seems I have no choice in it.

    • That is a tough decision. Look at the relationship thus far and be sure you want to go forward with it, kids or not. Sounds like he was just trying to give you a sign he was interested and wanted to see how you react. Make the decision when the right time to get intimate is, it should be consensual and you shouldn't feel forced into it. If he starts making it an issue and you aren't ready, leave.

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