My boyfriend is 20 & I'm 14 almost 15, why do people care about us being together? Please answer?

Everyone always saying negative things and it gets me mad why do people care so much?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you love him be with him I'm 15 well 16 in 4 weeks my bf will be 21 in June I love him fuck what everyone thinks or has to say about it it's your relationship not theirs

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    • I can't believe this.

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    • When i was younger^^^

    • What i mean by that is i wouldn't date anyone who is 3 or more years younger than me

What Guys Said 27

  • 1. Borderline illegal (depends on where you are)
    2. The age difference. It is not common to have that much of an age difference. Also people could worry he'll abuse the power he got over you since he's older.
    3. You're jailbait. You're under the sexual legal age, and people know what's in the head of a 20 yo guy. Therfore people worry, and see it as not right.

    Does that explain why?
    And a lot of people just want to protect you, because they know he has A LOT of potential power over you, and they know he can fuck you up badly if he decides to abuse that power.

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  • For starters what he is doing is illegal and he can be sent to prison. I should know I dated an underaged girl as well difference was me and her were only 1-2 years apart age wise. He is half a decade older then you it boarders on sick and illegal. And he can be tried for rape if he ever touches you inappropriately.

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  • Because, I am 17 and even I wouldn't date someone as young as you (no offense). Even 2 years is a huge difference in teenage years.

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  • This is what I read:

    "My boyfriend is pedofile & I'm a baby almost a toddler, why do people care about us being together? Please answer?"

    Now do you what's wrong here?

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  • The age difference is way too big.
    You're in different phases of your lives, different liberties, responsibilities, means.
    A slanted relationship, illegal in several states and countries.

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  • It's technically not legal yet; it's illegal in a lot of places.

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  • 5-6 years difference will be seen as no problem later on (if you´re 25 and he´s 30 for example). but at you´re age there is assumed a considerable difference in mental and biological development that makes society (and myself) assume you´re not compatible.

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  • People care so much because you are underage and if anyone tells the police your boyfriends is going to jail. Now once you 18 and he's 23 people won't care as much since then you'd be an adult. however, right now you relationship won't be recognized or accepted. Sorry that just the way the world is. But seriously right now he's to old for you.

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    • That's only if they are sleeping together. It also depends on the jurisdiction they live in.

    • Okay but lets be honest here. Almost every jurisdiction won't be okay with this relationship. And to prevent them from sleeping together is the exact reason that the police will intervene. I'm not saying that the age gap to too big just that she is too young for most people to look at their relationship positively.

    • @DreDay95 as far as I know the police can't intervene unless they can prove that sex will happen beyond a reasonable doubt and that would require a court order I'd imagine, at least in the United States. The last part is probably true. Most people would probably frown on the relationship regardless.

  • What the fuk

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  • Because he is a pedophile.

    Seems like your trolling though.

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    • No. The definition of Pedophile is a person with a primary or exclusive [sexual] attraction to children typically below the age of eleven (prepubescent) or at an absolute highest age of thirteen (when puberty begins).

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    • Right lmao. You could always depend on someone taking the roll of Mr. Dictionary.

    • I figure if you're going to use words you might as well use them correctly, no?

  • Because its creepy as fuck, a creepy as fuck for being with you and you should get out of that ASAP.

    Golden rule is half your age plus 7 is he youngest you can go. It works every time. Try it. Seriously

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    • Half of 14 is 7, plus 7 is 14. So a 14 yr old should date someone their age. But half of 20 is 10, plus 7 is 17. So a 20 yr old should date someone 3 years younger than them, and it is still technically illegal. Half of 40 is 20, plus 7 is 27. This is a 13 year age difference... fucking creepy. I am srsly questioning your logic.

    • I don't believe 20-17 is illegal, at least not everywhere.

      Whas rng with40-27? 27 year old is a full fledged adult and can make their own decisions

      14 year olds, if they are going to date at all, shouldn't really be going any younger.

      15 is wih 14-15
      16 is with 15
      17 is wih 15-16
      18 is with 16
      19 is with 16-17

      24 with 19 is fine
      26 with 20 is fine.

      It works

    • @frost_byte

      There aren't many places in the world where 17 and 20 is illegal. The age of consent for most of the world, including most of the US, Canada, UK, and most of Europe is 17 or below.

  • People care because in most jurisdictions that's illegal. Are you American? Because if so it's almost certainly illegal or definitely pushing it. I think with the Romeo and Juliet type laws it's possible you'd be okay depending on the state. This is of course assuming it's around five years but at best you're really close to legal issues, assuming you two are sleeping together of course.

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  • You two are in completely different life stages... what commonalities can you two even have outside of mutual attraction?

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  • It depends on the State Law. Whatever state your in has laws to being able to date same with your boyfriend. Unless y'all both live in the same state then it should be the same laws, just make sure both your and his parents know about it all. Don't hide things from your parents, they will eventually find out. I had to find out the hard way.

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  • 1. gross
    2. practically Illegal, or definitely illegal depending on where you are
    3 the difference in the amount of life experience is so vast you wouldn't believe
    4. gross

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  • For fucks sake I can't believe what Im reading... and the MHO...
    Little girls who have no idea whats between their legs loving pedophiles...

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  • damn girl! do you like granpa's too? that's way to big of an age gap and you've still got so much to enjoy ahead of you instead of goin out with a granpa! damn i can't believe i saw this question. you're just a minor so you're barely legal and you'll bot or most probably your boyfriend will end up in the slammer!

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  • When i was younger^^^

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  • Ayy, <3 u 2 u clever lil' troll U~!! :*

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  • Because many people, especially Americans, are just fucking brainwashed and far too foolish to make up their own opinions based on rational thinking.
    In many civilized countries, I am speaking of Europe , the age of consent is 14 anyways.

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  • Its against the law.

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  • Because our prison system is already at full capacity and even overcrowded?

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  • What... the actual fuck... OK just no. Maybe he really does like you but that's sick. Sounds more like settling out of desperation. Guys your age are generally immature but trust me... you'll be much happier with a guy your age later on

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  • Because it's illegal. How are you going to feel when he ends up in jail because of you?

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    • Depends on where they live.

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    • "if it's consensual, then it isn't a big deal"

      Wrong. It's called statutory rape and he will likely go to jail for it if caught.

    • Double wrong. It might not be illegal. It depends on where they live and the age of consent along with the Romeo and Juliet provisions that may accompany the laws.

  • Because they know he's with you hoping for sex and that you are with him since he's older and has more money

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    • That's a baseless assumption, a fallacy.

    • And it's true nearly ever time

    • That's an interesting theory honestly. If you have those studies/statistics send them to me or post them here. I've never seen them and I've looked.

  • He's a pedo

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    • I should have summoned Chris Hansen!

  • It's illegal here in my state

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What Girls Said 25

  • That's really disturbing. People care because that's a grown man and you're essentially still a child. I question the motives of any adult who feels the need to "date" an underage kid. Clearly he has issues.

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  • Because he's a predator. If he really cared about you, he'd wait at least a few years before dating you.

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  • Not against age gaps, but I would wonder why he is dating a 14 year old, I'm sure you guys have things in common, but the maturity level is completely different, even if you're mature, the stages in life that you both are at are completely different.. people care because in this modern day, it's not common, to be honest I would wonder what his intentions are because all though you've probably hit puberty, I would wonder what you have that someone older more near his age doesn't.

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  • Well some people just assume you're doing... you know... sexual stuff. Which is not legal in the US (I'm from the Netherlands, here the laws are a little more complicated). Or some people are jealous of you. When I was 15 I already met the man I'm married to now, he's 8 years older than I am. At that point he already liked me (we met through people we both knew from clubbing, yes 15 year olds go clubbing here), but was worried about what people would say if he was dating a girl that young. It didn't help that he was already in a relationship with an older woman. So he tried to keep his relationship with her and forget about me. But when I was 17 they broke up, he and I grew closer, and eventually started a relationship anyway. Today, we are married, and if he knew how happy we would be back then, he would have started a relationship with me as soon as we met. So I'd say... to hell with what people think. This guy could be the one, the age difference isn't thaaat big and you two are happy. I wish you all the best with your boyfriend.

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  • Because technically he'd be looked at ad a pedophile. You're not even 18, much less 16. (18, is the legal age to date people of the public. So like teachers, but it's also more accepted). Your boyfriend could be charged if he's sleeping with you. And a lot of people find it where the 20 year old is taking advantage of the young partner because, well, they don't no any better.

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  • Uhhh because it's illegal and strange.

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  • They don't think you're emotionally mature enough to handle a man. Your mind is still a baby.

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  • It's illegal.
    And in 5 years time, you'll understand why it's wrong.

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    • It's not necessarily illegal. It depends on where they live.

  • Because it's illegal. He can go to jail because of you.

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    • Not necessarily illegal. Depends on where they live.

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    • Well I think you'd be a great person to get to know and I'd like to do so :) thank you.

      Well see there you go! You probably know a lot more about books, music, movies, and travel than I do. I'm not as well versed in art. I'm much more of a science guy :p so you're from Portugal? Assuming you're from there and you speak the language then you're also better at languages than I am. I tried learning Spanish and it did not go overly well...

    • Thank you! It's good to know that. I wish I was better at science lol
      I live in Portugal, but I wasn't born here (but that's another story).
      It's true, I'm good at languages. I forgot to say, but learning languages is one of my biggest interests.

      Did you find Spanish difficult?
      You can send me a message answering this. The asker is receveing a lot of notifications because of our conversation. @ComDom

  • Everyone has said what they thought. You should care because it's illegal DUH! Creepy

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    • Not necessarily illegal. Depends on where they live.

  • Bc it's illegal.

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  • i am in complete shock i can't believe i am reading this. i am pretty sure that its against the law in most states. 16 is the minimum for most. sure your boyfriend is not manipulating you? he would have mentioned this

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  • Its illegal.

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  • Because he can easily manipulate you

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  • Probably because you're to young for him.
    But if you love him and he loves you then that's all that matters.

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  • Because you're still a child & he's obviously a predator, but I'm sure you'll tell me that I'm wrong, you're mature for your age & you get each other blahblah blah why ask questions you already know the answer to?

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  • Personally I could not give a f*ck who you decide to be with.
    It doesn't make you special, more mature, different or better than any other girls your age. Generally questions like this come off as immature and incredibly self involved but then your a teenager so that should be expected.

    Short answer: People are concerned he's using you, which is why they have a problem with it. It's because they are caring and kind individuals who don't want to see kids get hurt.

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  • he's using you point blank. you're being retarded because he will dump you

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  • yeah so what? when you're a couple years older nobody gives a damn, if you two are happy then be together.

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  • My mother allowed me to date a 21 yr old boy when I was 15/16 and after I had a daughter I realized how inappropriate such a relationship was. The MAN was actually an immature Momma's boy. We went together enough years that we were engaged by my senior year. We never married, but he married a girlfriend who in later years told me he was very abusive - mentally, financially and physically.
    You probably think the things you do with 'mr20' you will never get the chance to do again. But you will. And they will be more fun then. You are not likely to believe me but I wish I could go back and undo my life between 15 & 22 and stay a girl/young woman longer and not have done Those grownup things so young.

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  • EWWWWWW...

    when you were in 5th grade he was almost done with High School...

    THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND...

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  • it's consdierd illegal to for a 20 year old and a 14 year old to date I played a game on the PS3 witch was playStationnetwork and two guys on there there were 17 and 14 kept trying to ask me out and I tried to tell them that Thats illegal for teens that age to date to date girls who in there 20s like me but nether one of them didn't listin to me but I had to delete those people from my frieands list on there and I stoped talking to them

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    • It's not illegal for them to date. It's illegal for them to have sex.

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    • As far as I know it's not technically illegal for anyone to date. It's only illegal for them to have sex if one of them if below the age of consent. That doesn't mean it wouldn't be frowned on.

    • oh I see

  • That doesn't really make sense. Why would he be interested in a child? You are only 14 turning 15 soon. And he is 20 that's a 5 year age difference. He sounds like a grown man to me and you are still a child. My question is why would he be interested in a child? He needs help or something. He could force you to do things you don't' want to do. Not saying he will but you never know.

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    • She isn't a child by medical definition. She has nearly passed the age of puberty. Puberty is the process of physical changes through which a child's body matures into an adult body capable of sexual reproduction to enable fertilization.

  • In a lot of places that's not legal.

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  • I can't even entertain this😐😕

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