Why doesn't he say he doesn't want to talk to me anymore?

A guys perspective would be useful. My ex is with another girl now, asked me to be friends, talked to me normally or like we were when we were together, gets me on webcam and tells me how amazing I look, then just when things are going well, blocks and ignores me. So unfortunately I do the wrong thing and keep texting him to get him to talk to me (which is stupid and wrong I know but for some reason I couldn't help it) so he comes online, still tells me he wants to be friends and talk, then just totally ignores and blocks me again so I get upset and caught up and do it again trying to talk to him. I've stopped texting him or trying to get into contact with him now because I realised how stupid and psycho I was being (obviously not what a friend would do) but I even asked him if you don't wanna be friends or talk just say and I'd stop (which he knew I would) and wouldn't bother him. But he just kept on ignoring me. If an ex was doing it to me I'd tell them 'look I hav someone new, I don't wanna be friends or talk to you anymore leave me alone' so why didn't he? He would never be straight and say it, I know it sounds bad but it was what I needed, some sort of closure and I know its not his job but it takes one text or msg or phone call to say and all the annoying texts would have been over a lot sooner and he knew this, because I even explained that to him, and then he would never have heard from me again. I know I can't be friends with him because my reaction told me I still had feelings for him & I explained I wasn't sure we could be & he knew how I felt but he insisted on being friends but did this. I just don't get why he'd do it and just wouldn't say


Most Helpful Girl

  • he kept you as an online buddy as a back up/booty call/plan b but now that he's wit someone else, he blocked u. his ex could have said something to him about it and then he blocked u. or else you were just emailing and texting way too much and he just snapped and then blocked u-i don know. But this is not your problem. He is the one with the problem. why do you even want to be friends with an ex? Like what's the point? you're better off moving on because would you not get jealous seeing him with a new girl and wouldn't it be bit weird? Even if you don't want to move on, he's made that decision for u. you have to move on. he doesn't want to tlk to u. just delete all his contact details and text msgs etc.

    guys will NEVER give you closure-they just stop calling and that's what he's done. they don't want the confrontation so they chicken out of it. and then you never hear from them again. don't feel bad it happens to everyone at some point, this just didn't work out. but there's lots of other guys out there so get back out there again!=)


What Guys Said 2

  • Sounds like his new girl found out about year webcam chats, I'd keep it cool if you don't want him in any trouble.

  • Sounds like, he is just stringing you along to be used again...which is basically what he is doing. You keep putting the ball in his court. Just treat him like you are being treated by him...it works.

    • Totally agree with you :) he is playing a game and it feels good to him

What Girls Said 5

  • Maybe he lyks being able to have that control over you. Why do you want him to say hurtful words to you in order for you to "get it". Okay, he knows that you will leave him alone completely if he just says it. Okay...? You seem very smart and it seems lyk you are trying to do the right thing but right now, the right thing to do is to just stop. He is dating someone else even though he knows how you feel about him so stop making yourself look bad. Once, when I wanted to make myself stop calling someone, I deleted the number just to make sure that I would stop. You might want to try it, even if you know the number by heart then it will still make you think before sending it after you have to enter the number in the phone. You gotta lay low or he will just talk to you whenever he feels lyk he wanna otherwise you will continued to be ignored. I hate being ignored so I try not to put myself in that position. Hope this helps. Peace & Love!

  • Guys love avoiding emotions...he doesn't want a confrontation because deep down he knows he's in the wrong for talking to you when he knows you have feelings for him...but he doesn't want to tell you to stop for two reasons...one because he thinks by ignoring you that you will eventually give up and stop anyway, but leaving the door open if he ever wants to talk again by saying "i just wanted a break so I didn't text back, I didn't want to stop talking" and two because he thinks that if he keeps you in the background if things don't work out with this new girl he can fall back on you...I know...am going through a lot with my ex too...x

  • hes keeping you around for if things don't work out with her or if he's bored and needs someone to talk to..

  • I am going through this same thing right now! I can completely relate to you, and it really sucks. I wish the same thing, for closure, even when I asked for it more than once. I realized that it was never coming, so now I'm trying really hard to just get through it and move on. Life is too short for this crap! I even went as far as defriending him from Facebook. Yeah, probably immature, but so is ignoring someone, right? :) Anyway, I needed to do that so I wouldn't be tempted to constantly stare at his profile, wall, etc. It takes time to heal, but we'll both heal eventually. I don't think ALL guys do this sort of thing, but a lot do. Don't make the mistake of letting him back in again, if he down the road says sorry, great, but leave it there. I wish you peace and love.

    • No you did the right think deleting him on Facebook. Too late. I stopped talking to him for 2 weeks and on halloween day he added me on msn and we tried to talk but things have just got worse so I've had to be the one to stop all contact now as hard as it was. By coming bk he just hurt me worse now I wish he'd have left me alone. Ah well. Its over now!