Going on a first date tonight... How honest should I be?

Okay a little back story I guess, I have only dated black guys in my past. Tonight I'm going out with a white guy, and I don't know if I should tell him tonight that I have dated two black guys? I live in Texas and I know some people have a problem with interracial dating. I just don't want to waste his time if he does have a problem with it. I want to be honest, but is this a good idea on the first date? I know in some places this isn't a big deal, but it is a big deal where I live. I'm thinking of just telling him tonight when he comes to get me, so If he isn't comfortable, he can just leave. Is this a good idea or should I wait and tell him, if we go on a second date? Opinions Please...

Updates:
The reason I was concerned was I know his cousin through friends and he racist, but thankfully the guy I went out with is nothing like his cousin. He's cool and we had a great time. Always hard to start dating again after a long term relationship.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If it comes up you can tell him, but I would not just blurt it out.

    Certain white guys will have a problem with it but this guy may be different.

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    • I'm glad you understand where I'm coming from. There some who do have major issues with this.

    • It is one of those things isn't it, certain men and women will not date someone of their race that has dated outside of their race, it is not just an attitude prevalent in White men, it is an attitude that exists within all races and affects both genders.

What Guys Said 16

  • I don't think it needs to be mentioned, just because it's none of his concern who you've dated in the past, regardless. If it comes up, whatever, but honestly I wouldn't even be keeping count of the racial breakdown of past lovers. But I get that it's Texas. I can't even fathom living in the South. Just so ass backwards and primitive.

    Just a word of advice or whatever you'd classify it as:
    Has problem with you dating black men = short crank, 100 times out of 100. They'll usually mask it as some other fucked up "reason", but make no mistake, it's about dick size😂

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  • Hello there. Well, I do not know or understand why this interracial background holds any importance, sorry if I am being rude, but truly, I don't think it holds any significance to the present time. If you must, I would suggest mentioning later, as I personally don't find it a big deal, and more so because starting a first date and already talking about pass relationships is somewhat of a mood killer, and will give the impression you still look back at them. Kind of like the clingy girlfriend, or putting up some standard for him to surpass. These are simply concepts, so it may not be the case. My advice would just be to concentrate on the date at hand, and try to have a good time to get to know him better, and him getting to know you.
    Once again, I do not understand why your past dating experiences matter to the current you. You shouldn't have to define yourself by them, but by your own content. You can bring it up some other time if you think it matters, but I suggest at least don't talk about it during your first date, your first impression on him might not be that great.

    Nonetheless, have a great time and a pleasant day/evening.

    P. S.: If the date doesn't go as well. I do hope you don't lose faith on dating something from a particular skin tone. There are fine examples of men and also not-so-fine ones everyone. Skin pigmentation holds little to nothing to do with what makes a person great.

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    • Thanks for your opinion, and I think you're right, but not everyone is not as progressive. I know not to judge a whole race based on my interaction with one person with one from that race.

    • darwinism. different groups are always competing, survival of the fittest. it's part of why tribalism is so sttong even today, among all races.

  • Don't mention the interratial sex thing. Probably best for everyone to keep their sex life on the down-low. That's like, first month material bullshit, not first date.

    Do find out if he's racist somehow. Good to find out about that kind of stuff early.

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    • Yeah I'd rather find out early and not waste my time on someone like that.

  • If it comes up in conversation, be completely honest. It's about thinking ahead.

    If the two of you really hit it off and end up in a serious relationship or even married someday, these things are bound to come out sooner or later. What would it do to trust in your relationship if something like that came out as a surprise?

    It's ALWAYS best to be honest.

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  • I think you'll not need to bring your sexual resume to the first date. If you are heterosexual, then you have dated guys. Why get knotted up in race?

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  • if the subject comes up about prior boyfriends answer the questions asked. On a first date I can't imagine it will.

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  • You don't have to say anything about it just yet. If he asks you should tell him. But it might be a good idea to assess through conversation weather or not you think it might be a problem to him. If you get the impression your date is a racist or even if this fact would change his perception of you then he is not the guy for you and you should look elsewhere. Honesty from the very start is the best policy if you ask me.

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    • I agree honesty is the best policy at all times.

  • Go girl! Get you some white chocolate too!

    The last thing a guy wants to hear about is your dating history. Your life is your own life. Make some memorable experiences and get the hell out of that town.

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  • Well if he asks you tell the truth. You don't want to lie. If he has a problem with black people would you really date a racist anyway? I know I wouldn't.

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  • I suppose you could mention it in passing.

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  • If you are always honest you can never be caught out in a lie. People are not honest these days and sometimes honesty hurts but it can never come back to bite you on your arse.

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  • To be honest, I don't think it's really any of his business who you have dated in the past.

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    • Or vice versa. Begin new. The past is the past. Your relationship is your relationship. I strongly agree with you.

  • Tell him only if he asks. There's no need to just tell him.

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  • Don't share that until you both are ready.

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  • I wouldn't want to know about her exes at all. I'd always be comparing myself to them

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  • Just drop your panties and spread them.

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    • Sweetie I don't give it away.

    • Lol Never said let him get it in, just give him a glimpse of what to look forward to.

What Girls Said 7

  • I don't get why some girls think they need to give their hoefax to any and every guy, especially on a 1st date.. you are a white girl in texas, dating a black guy is stigmatized so why put that label on yourself if he doesn't have to know? its not even relevant because you're on a date with him so why bring up other guys? what you see as honesty and full disclosure (which is really unnecessary imo) could be seen by him as baggage. a first date should be a fresh start with that guy, not bringing up who you've dated in the past.

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  • Not first date info, in my opinion.
    And even if you end up talking about past relationships (I think most people looking for a serious relationship are in no hurry to share that kind of details) how would race even become a subject? Like "do you've a type of guy you like?"? Hmmm

    It sounds like you just wanna ask him point blank and get it over with, but maybe you will gain more by acting like it's no big deal for now?
    Maybe ask him on date 2 or 3 what he feels about interracial relationships or other relationships. But somehow this seems to go into the religion and politics wagon, ie, not first date convo.

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  • Well holy fuckballs that is an unfortunate section of our country.

    If you really feel like it's some sort of skeleton in the closet (I feel disgusting even saying that) he doesn't need to know on a first date that's just... awkward. If it comes up, sure, say it. If not... I wouldn't. It's not really his business

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  • I don't think it's something that you should just bring up out of no where, since that's a weird thing to just blurt out.. but I suppose that it would be a could test to see if he's a racist dbag, in which case I assume you wouldn't want to date him... so whenever it comes up, if it does, obviously don't lie

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  • Why should it matter who you've dated. if you don't bring it up it's not hiding it. i wouldn't be talking about any ex white or black on a first date. i'm bi racial myself, in maryland it is very common to see interracial couples. it what it is. A person is the same no matter what skin tone. The thing that matters is who they are. if your new boyfriend doesn't have the same morals as you then why waste your time... I have dated a few white guys one being "arian brotherhood" and our relationship was just as good as anyone elses once he realized i wasn't a bad person because im brown. Where i live in western maryland there is a lot of racists still even kkk rallys but now a days they don't treat you bad (they're just phony and smile in your face) lol.. so like i said it is what it is you don't have to hide your past but i wouldn't broadcast tour ex bfs no matter what race.

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  • I wouldn't even mention because that's your business not his lol. I don't even bring up past relationships on dates.

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  • Do you actually want to be with someone, who has a problem with interracial dating?

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