Been dating for 7 months... What can I do to get my boyfriend to apprecaite me more?

I always do nice things for him and am always thinking about him. I make and/or buy meals. If I'm at a store and see something that I think he'd like, I buy it for him. He does buy me dinner, but he never spontaneously buys me gifts. He did once when we first started dating. Not that I think it's the definitive way to know someone cares for you, but it's nice once in a while. However, my biggest issue is that he shows my dog more affection than me. I'm not jealous, but I notice. He will sit right next to me with my dog and kiss multiple times (talking 20 or more) and not even touch me. It's like I don't exist most of the time. If I say something about it, he'll show affection, but it doesn't last long. Is any of this normal? If not, what should I do about it? I wonder if it's a clear sign that he just isn't into me. But, he has told me that he does. He used to text me throughout the day to find out how I am. That only lasted about the first couple of months. Now, I don't ever hear from him unless I text first. I keep telling myself that I need to pull away and start being elusive, but I don't know. I need help :( Any advice or feedback will be more than welcomed!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The best thing you can do in this situation is telling him what you feel, but you've already said you did it and that it doesn't work permanently. I think that perhaps he's taking you for granted. Well, keep telling him, be more emphatic next time and maybe he'll change, or the change will be more permanent. It can't just stay the way it is.

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    • Yeah, I told him that I feel that he's taking me for granted. I think I was pretty mature about it... I said that it happens in relationships, but those tend to be the one's that fail. I mentioned that he can't be lazy in the relationship. I realize that it's normal to get comfortable and find yourself getting lazy, but also said that those are unhappy relationships, if they last. I've tried to make it clear that I'm unhappy with the situation. He grabbed me and squeezed me to show that he understands. However, it's been a couple of days since that discussion and guess who still gets more affection? I love my dog, don't get me wrong, but sometimes I'm weirded out by the amount of affection he shows her over me. I just sit there as if I don't even exist in the room and wonder if he'd even care if I wasn't around. All of my friends and family approve of him. The only person that doesn't approve is my sister. She feels that he's just not in the same place (without knowing any of this).

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    • I didn't think it was, but wasn't sure. I will just have to keep an open mind and watch his behavior. If it doesn't get better, I'm gonna have to move on. I know that there are guys out there who do put forth effort. I've been with some... unfortunately they didn't work out for other reasons. I know I'm deserving of that sort of relationship. He used to grab me around the shoulders or waist when we were out... not anymore. I used to feel so special with him and I'd like to get that back. Anyway, thank you so much for your help! Let this be a reminder to you in your relationships ;). Jk... I'm sure you're great!

    • You're welcome. I really wish you good luck with him and I hope the best happens, even if you have to move on. And thanks!

What Guys Said 2

  • Guys tend to settle in to a routine and forget about the little things. It doesn't necessarily mean that his feelings changed, just that he is blind to what he is doing vs what he did during the early months. My cousin's husband clued me into buying little things like Teddy Bears or other even smaller items. figure out how to hetbthat message to him, like renting a movie where that happens and let him know how great that is, ask a friend to encourage him to do it, tell him gently that you would really like that or get the message through some other way. But, maybe he is fading away feom you, you would need to be the judge of that.

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    • I've thought about having one of our mutual gfs say something to remind him of the little things. It's awesome that you do all those things for yours... I'm sure she appreciates them. I always sit at home wondering if the reason he's slightly late from work is because he went to the store to get me a card or something. Well, I guess I forgot about when he brought me a little 2oz cup of guacamole home from his lunch. Should I be grateful?

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    • I guess it's better than nothing. I don't feel like I should lower my standards. Every once in a while I deserve a single rose or something. There are a ton of rose bushes outside my place for cryin out loud... just pick one on your way in!! You're right though, I guess he thought of me. Either that or hoped I wouldn't eat it so that he could later.

    • Dont lower your standards but if you feel he really cares for you, you might have to accept that some guys, many guys, just dont do those things often or at all... We just dont think that way. Best of luck!

  • get him a snocone

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    • If you're speaking sexually, you'll have to explain, ha!

    • omg sex is dirty :(

What Girls Said 2

  • You're past the honeymoon phase, and he's gotten comfortable. Just do your own thing, maybe he'll miss you.

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    • Wow, I've never passed the HM phase so quickly. That stinks!! I suppose I'm gonna have to get out more and have more of a life of my own. I tend to dedicate myself in relationships.

    • Don't lose yourself in any relationship. It's good to have a life outside the relationship.

  • Break up with him. He will only get worse as time goes on.

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