MEN: what kind of woman do you want to marry?

this site gets a lot of "feminist" bashing. I'm curious what type of woman many of you actually want.

comment on whatever you want. (:

  • stay at home mom/raises kids, cooks and cleans.
    13% (7)20% (17)17% (24)Vote
  • works part time, cooks and cleans.
    7% (4)18% (15)14% (19)Vote
  • career woman, equally share in raising kids, cooking and cleaning.
    35% (19)41% (35)39% (54)Vote
  • career woman, no kids, shares in houshold duties.
    9% (5)11% (9)10% (14)Vote
  • other.
    36% (19)10% (9)20% (28)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
WOMEN WHO ARE VOTING: are you voting what you want or what you're assuming men want?
so... I want to be a career woman (small business owner) and artist who works mostly from home and shares in household duties/child raising with my hubby. (:

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whatever she wants to be. Seriously, I don't mind if she decides to stay at home or if she wants to have a career, it's all up to her, the only requirement is that she wants kids.
    Obviously if she has a career we will equally share the cooking, cleaning and raising the kids. I want to be a FATHER, and that's a father's job too, not just the mother's.
    Actually, I wouldn't mind being a stay at home father; if that's what I have to do I will.

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    • did you pick 'other'?

      a woman commented that I should have made stay at home dad an option but I didn't simply because I figured it would be the obvious choice for that and anything else.

    • No, I picked "C". I was tempted to pick "Other" but I went with "C", that's why I left an opinion, so that you could know more details.

    • ah. ok thanks for leaving an opinion too! (:

What Guys Said 41

  • My wife is A.

    But as long as she is pulling her weight in -some- way in the relationship, it's fine.

    This isn't how I'd choose a wife.

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    • I know. I doubt any man chooses a wife based on these things alone. I was just curious because so many guys on this site seem to be angry toward "feminist" women. which to me is just a woman who wants to be equal to a man. I'm wondering if a lot of them prefer women who want to stay home all day.

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    • My wife A, too. :) God gave us all roles. Roles for husbands, wives, fathers, mother, and children. It's certainly not sinful for a woman to work, or for a father to stay at home, but I've always prefered more traditional values.

    • *my IDEAL wife (future tense)

  • Well I was raised old fashioned so generally is like an A type women. Though I'd certainly help put with all the child and marriage duties, I'm am also aware being a stay at home mother is a tough job ( my own mother is one ) but I know it also has advantages to.

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  • A simple lady who's open minded, has a sense of humor, and is loyal as fuck.

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    • I don't know.. just how loyal is fuck?

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    • so, it doesn't matter to you then?

      lol, at this conversation.

    • What do you mean by it doesn't matter to me?

  • Other. My wife must be a vigilante crime fighter dressed in spandex and armed with 2 Desert Eagles. She will spend her nights hunting enemies of the law while on the run from police who don't believe in her methods of battling the evil that plagues her city.

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  • Career Woman, to the rescue!

    Seriously though, I want my spouse to be my equal. If I'm better at everything than a woman, why the hell would I marry her? Might as well just hire a maid.

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    • laugh out loud! yea. although, I see it as equals who excel at different things working together. know what I mean?

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    • I'm like that! I get a kick out of organizing get togethers and such in general. I never understand women who wait around for the guy to suggest everything..

    • Exactly! =D

      I guess most/many guys like to be in charge all the time? don't know.

  • Ideally I'd like the career woman, equally share in raising kids, cooking and cleaning.

    Things don't always go according to plan so we'll see how it ends up :)

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    • haha, very true! the almost never go to plan, but sometimes you get a nice little surprise. something you didn't even think about at all. (:

  • I like a woman that's career oriented and shares in everything else. However, she has to be willing to let me do the majority of the chores periodically so I can say... I did them to be able to have some quality time with you!

    Allow her to put her feet up while I do laundry and dust the house ;)

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    • haha, I'd like a guy wants to do most, not all, of the chores. (:

    • Yes its okay to share 50/50 but its important to do more sometimes... especially if she has had a rough week! It doesn't take much... what's a few hours of work to make her smile and appreciate you. Besides you still get the benefit of the place being spotless and all laundry folded and put away

      Pour her a glass of wine and have dinner ready when she walks in the door... the little things!

  • Words fail me in describing such a woman so I'll let the pictures do the talking.

    1:
    http://i.imgur.com/8U8AERX.jpg

    2:
    http://i.imgur.com/5e7XKKx.jpg

    3:
    http://i.imgur.com/D6znW1b.jpg

    Words fail me.

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    • the last photo is really pretty.

    • It is... I feel like a picture does a better job of conveying emotions and feeling... makes me a bit of a weirdo who can be a mute of a mute tho lol

      What sort of... vibe are you getting from the pics?

  • a woman who is down to earth, keeps up to date on current events, reasonable, physically fit. I don't think i want a stay at home mom really. I don't mind being the provider, but it she should be working to, and she can hold on to her cash and use it for whatever she wants... and we would both share a savings/investment pool that we both contribute to

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    • ok, I have to ask: what make a woman reasonable?

    • someone who is willing to come to the negotiating table when she disagrees with something, instead of going the "my way or the highway" route. Someone who can compromise and think logically. Someone who is willing to admit when they are wrong and someone who knows their own limits

    • oh, ok. simple enough. haha (:

  • the answer to this question differs on the lives both people lead and what is needed at the time, i think no matter what the situation is most guys would want a person who they can share their life with, someone who is their equal who will travel through this life at their side

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    • true. however it was asked as in what's your ideal/preffered situation. ;)

    • for me i would want someone as my equal, i don't know what it is like over there in the US for feminists and stuff but over this side of the water there is a big difference between a feminist and a woman a man would want to spend time with, here a feminist is just another term for a man hater, they are male bashers, complaining about equal rights and stuff, and when you give it to them they complain when they are asked to be equals and carry half the load. i would not want to be near a feminist as we know them here, i would want to be near a strong independent woman

  • I just want to find a woman who is a crazy about me as I am about her.
    I want to be able to look into her eyes and know that she gets me and i want her to be as active and live a healthy lifestyle like me and be into a lot of the same things

    we should share in the responsiblities of taking care of our home and raising our family. does not make a difference to me if we both work or just one of us

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  • Well if I had the money to support us by myself (which I think I will someday in the not too distant future) I would really like to be married to a stay at home mom who cooks and cleans etc, as long as she's cool with that. I'm not too much of a cooker, and I can clean but I don't do a great job. So why make her work AND pick up the slack for my lackluster cooking and cleaning skills?

    I like traditional gender roles they work if the man can truly provide. But I realize that it's often not the case that the man can do it by himself. The main problem with traditional gender roles is that it's not always possible to live on one income. If the woman works hard in her role she will get it done, but the man can work his ass off and still come up short.

    That's just the ideal situation for me, but Im prepared to accept a different scenario if need be

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    • hmm, all very true. I wonder how many working women would rather be stay at home but simply can't afford to.

    • i think what i desrcibed about women having to pick up two roles is very common. it was certainly true for my mom. She worked and then came home and cooked and cleaned Every day. My father on the other hand worked and usually came home and took a rest. Yeah he had to do the outside stuff occasionally like mow the lawn or fix a fence or something, but that kind of stuff is not an everyday thing like cooking and cleaning.

      I dont know if women would prefer this or not, but my idea seems like a better system to me. Or maybe better yet she should have something like a work from home job that isn't too stressful like running a for profit website, blogging etc. that could pull in some extra change

  • A ) I prefer to be the provider for my Lady. We don't have kids , so that takes a lot of pressure off of her in the home. She ( thank god ) doesn't waste time on watching soaps ( by her choice mind ya ) . She always either has supper done or in progress , I always have clean duds and a clean crib. So all in all I already have all the woman I need

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    • what does she do all day?
      just curious.

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    • nice, I tried knitting but it hurt my finger too much. I love sewing and making things in general. (:

    • So does my wife. She keeps down loading videos of new stitching designs so there is no telling what she will be working on next. She also knits from time to time but progress with knitting is slower.

  • Hmm.. I really don't care, is the thing. As long as we have enough money between us, we're good.

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    • I feel the same. and on the same page about where we want to live and how to raise kids.

  • I voted C because in todays world women should not be kept at home but I also think men need to make all the bills for the family and provide.

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  • Well, I definitely want a woman that desires equality for all people. That's like, a given, I'd hope.

    I'd also prefer a woman that's willing to see men and women as having some inherent differences, and that it's not a bad thing.

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    • I feel this way. some women do get upset when you point out some things, our strengths and weaknesses I think, just happen to be different and that's ok.

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    • I agree completely about feminist should not have to choose between working and being a homemaker. I get really disgusted when a woman claims to be a feminist and puts down another woman who chooses to stay home because I aleays thought the whole point of the movement to begin with was for women to make that choose on their own, without a man or anyone else telling them what they "have" or "should" do.

    • EXACTLY.

      For me, feminism is (or at least, should be) an expression of freedom for choice.

  • It's really up to the woman. Either way, we would both share the household duties, regardless of who works or how much. As long as the housework gets done, that's all that matters.

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  • Stay at home mom who shares with raising kids, cooking, and cleaning. Wasn't an option for that. That depends on what kind of job I can get after I move closer to my fiancee, but it would be the ideal for us.

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  • first 3 are great in my opinion

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  • Young hit minimal sexual experience

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  • One that isn't shallow or obsessed with guys looks.

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  • Someone that's equal in practically everything. So she would have a stable full time job and share in chores. personally I couldn't stand it if she was too into her work I want a very close relationship.

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    • yes, I couldn't date/marry someone too into their job. though, I understand while building your career it usually takes extra devoted time and effort and wouldn't be upset about that, as long as it's not a life long thing.

  • Career woman, equally share in raising kids, cooking and cleaning. It's the ideal option

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  • i chose B,
    but i would like if she went to pursue her career after we raised a child
    at around 14 years old the kid she be able to handle himself/herself, i think it would be awesome if my future wife wants to pursue a career!
    but someone would need to work part time at first

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    • I think it would be hard to pursue a career that late though.

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    • the teen years are the hardest. going to school while raising a teenager sounds like a bit much.

    • they can be a part time student from the childs age of 10-18
      when the kid is in school the mother can be taking classes

  • I want woman who we can share 50 percent of all the duties of marriage

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    • From my experience most women share more than 50% but this is changing in some families. If both parents have high power jobs it is still Mom running the sitter or cleaner, getting groceries, helping on projects and shuttling to practices. Dad might cook and do the dishes but a lot of the family managing stuff still comes down on Mom. Even managing the finances. It's hard for both and I'm a Daddy's girl. I just don't think a lot of men see the load their wives are carrying through no fault of their own most times. But if they did it would prevent a lot of divorces. My thinking is one power job per family please- kids needs love and attention.

    • @sjoes006 you think a lot of divorces are due to imbalance of household duties?

    • Most divorces are about money but when money is all good it seems to be some sort of either communication breakdown, cheating, no longer sexually attracted to you...

      I understand divorces over money habits but have always been curious about divorce with school age kids amongst wealthy couples when no cheating is involved.

      From the academic articles I've read basically culture has convinced these high powered women they can handle the house, the kids and their 60 hour a week job and if they can't then they are inadequate. It's a lot and since the wives try to pull it off so "effortlessly" the men don't have a clue. Leads to stress, bad or no sex, resentment.

      Men feel sexually rejected but not knowing why and women feel unappreciated.

      I'm certainly no 1950's housewife but the lesson to me is there is only so much we can fit in and it sure goes by quick so make sure it is the important stuff that feels your day. Love and love fully!

  • I don't want children, she can work and have a career, 50/50 household and marriage duties.

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  • an... invisible one :-PPPPP

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  • I want my wife to want to stay at home and tend to the household and children we will be having. I plan on making a decent amount of money, so she will be able to do such a thing. With that said, don't get it twisted, I am not saying all women should stay at home, that is just what I want in my relationship.

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  • As long as she wants kids and doesn't shirk the responsibility of helping raise them, I don't care if she wants to be a stay at home mom or a career woman.

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  • Id say a or b. if she wants to stay home with our kids then thats great if she wants to work too im good with that, but sha can't be strictly career oriented. Thats really the man's job anyway and mothers are more important in a childs everyday life

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  • More from Guys
    11

What Girls Said 12

  • I voted other, mainly just to see the results.
    I am pretty flexible. I would love to stay at home, raise the kids and do the cleaning and cooking, so long as I had time for hobbies or maybe make a little extra money on the side through my writing or jewelry making and other crafts.
    If need be, I would also be willing to go to work and provide some sort of steady income, be it full or part time as long as he was willing to share in the household duties.
    The only answer that would never be an option for me is D, because I do eventually want children, even if that does mean adoption if I am for some reason unable to biologically have them.

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    • nice! I actually made a female version too. it's funny, more women answered here than on that one. ;)

  • I voted on what I think all men should go for aka. what I'm like, haha. Only joking. I chose the one that's more like how I will be - D.

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  • I assume the women that are voting are
    -interested in the same sex aswell
    -voting for themselves
    -just picked anything to see the results.

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  • I picked other just to see the results. Personally I'm closest to B.

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  • I'd hope my man would be happy with me being an A or B wife. Not sure if I ever want to have kids though. But my depression and anxiety make working outside the house very difficult for me, so I'd like to work as little as possible, so long as we can still get by and that doesn't create any feelings of resentfulness in my husband. I would clean, learn to cook, do laundry and shopping and stuff. Keep track of our schedules and do the budgeting because I am good at that.

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    • I really want to work from home too, but only partially, like have my own home office to work on artistic projects..

  • Some guys have really unrealistic expectations.

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  • I wish more people were voting for housewife bc that's what I want to do. I love cooking, cleaning and taking care of kids.

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  • do any guys want a firefighter women cause thats what i am

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  • If I ever were to get married I feel I'd probably be most like option 'D' on account of the no kids thing.

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  • No 'stay at home dad cooks and cleans"?

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    • its about what kind of WOMAN MEN want to marry Please read =)

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    • I used to want a monkey (I want to be a primatologist). now, I just think that's really irresponsible.

    • As I said if I have the environment for it

      Aldo I would not buy one from a breeder it would be a situation where it needed a home or be killed.

      I don't think you have enough I formation to day it's irresponsible. Maybe Id be living in a rain forest in Africa when I get a monkey,

  • I'm voting what I want to be haha

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  • I'm gay and I want a strong woman who will help with possible children and have her own job and aspirations. I'm pretty butch but I don't want to be the only one working.

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    • cool! what if you fell in love with a woman who doesn't want to work though?

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    • what do characteristics in a woman do you consider to be strong?

    • Independent. I'm not what is keeping them alive. Clingy is gross.

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