Never dated at 27. Self-perpetuating cycle?

I'm sure it's been asked on here a hundred times. Not looking for an ego boost here. In my 27 years, I've never dated, never so much as kissed a woman. Frankly, that plays hell with a man's self-worth. Before graduation I was too shy to approach anyone, and after graduation, I've found my social circle doesn't change too much. I've tried clubs, classes, sports... hasn't resulted in any new lasting friendships.

Even with my various hobbies and interests, I'm not seeing much point in life without someone to share it with. But at this point, it seems like everyone in my age group is already paired off and having babies. I don't even know where to look to find someone (before it's brought up, I'm not interested in one-night stands).

I'm afraid that even if by some miracle I managed to land a date, I'd come across reeking of desperation and drive them off. I have no grounds for confidence in this area precisely because I have no experience, never learned what I had to do in the first place. "Need experience to get experience" loop. How to break out of this cycle?

Updates:
S'alright. I've gotten used to people not caring.

0|0
1|5

Most Helpful Guy

  • The best way to meet women is to make friends. Befriend enough people and you'll meet new women. You can also meet a lot of women at places with their own communities, like church. You should also consider online dating sites. They're a great way to get to know a woman before you actually go out on a date, so the date is less likely to feel like a job interview with food.

    When you do start dating, don't look at it as a mission to find a woman. Take it easy and just focus on enjoying your date's company. When you're with the right one, things will happen on their own. :)

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • I actually read your post, but I had to go to class. :/ Anyway, I don't really think experience is necessary to start a relationship, maybe only to make it last, cause even teenagers can do it. You just have to play along and make things progress. As for finding someone, have you tried online dating? It wouldn't hurt to sign up and see if anything comes out of it while still looking in real life. At this point, you just have to go out as much as possible and have a lot of confidence to talk to any girl you are interested in to see if she is available. Also, don't forget that girls in their early twenties like guys in their late twenties the most and they are most likely not taken or settled down yet, so you still have a lot of opportunities. Don't worry about seeming desperate cause it doesn't seem like you are that type of person. As long as you pretend that you don't need that person in your life, but only want her, then everything should be fine. I hope things work out for you.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 4

  • I'm in the same boat, can't really help, but I understand exactly how you're feeling.

    I feel like since I was never good with people socially, it has affected my chances. Even though I look back at my life so far and think, dthis or that girl may have liked me, they were confident girls, they didn't really ask me out unless there was some group going out... what am I going to do with all these people around anyways.

    Plus girls always play games like hiding and being secretive hat they like you... I don't even think I try anymore to decipher it.

    I was at a bar by myself during the weekend picking up and taking out food. And the bar tender had her clevage hanging out so much, I barely even looked, its like I do t I've a crap anymore. It sucks, but its also my eyes that don't help as I used to have cataracts , and now have artificial lenses I side my eyes, so they so t focus properly, so that doesn't help with understanding attraction.

    I guess you just have to keep trucking and see if anything turns up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm in the same boat except younger. Hello future me :)

    2|0
    0|0
  • I'm having the same issue. I try meeting people doing what I like, but regardless of same interest we don't click. I have been unable to make any friends and never dated. If I try and keep failing what does that say about my future?

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nah, bitches ain't nothing but problems.

    0|1
    0|0
Loading...