Is it racist to have a marital preference?

I think most people here accept that it's not racist to have a dating preference.

But what if a guy said that they would date/have sex with all races, but could only see himself marrying a white woman? Would you consider that racist?

If so, why?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Of course not! Having a preference to marry a certain race does not make you racist!

    It is like having two girls and telling one that she is pretty, it does not make the other one UGLY. MY GOD PEOPLE.

    You can not force attraction, just because you are not attracted to them or don't want to marry them, doesn't mean that those other women aren't amazing, wonderful, smart people who are fully capable of love. People are so sensitive.

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    • The point is all women of other races don't look alike. For example there are black women who look like Paula Patton, some who look like Rihanna, some like Lupita N'yongo and all types in between. Race isn't biological therefore you don't have to look a certain way to be a part of a racial group. With that being said, race is also difficult to define socially as all people act differently mostly according to the ideals of the nation in which they reside. To claim a preference over one race over another isn't racist is nonsensical as concept in and of itself is arbitrary

    • a lot of typos in there but you get my point

    • Just because someone has different preferences and thinks differently from us, doesn't mean we can judge them for it.

What Girls Said 9

  • It's wrong cause that guy more than likely isn't telling the non white women he sleeps with that.

    It's better just to not date outside your race at all and only stick to white, instead of using other women and lying by omission

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    • How is that lying, though? I don't owe people marriage simply because I've slept with them. That's an extremely creepy and entitled attitude to have.

    • That was one of the stupidest things i have ever read in my life.

  • Yeah, well at least kind of. It would be one thing if you were open to interracial dating, and then you eventually settled down and of course you had to technically pick a race/ethnicity but it cones along with the person.

    But it's another thing to intrinsically date and actually build a relationship obviously someone is going to get hurt because they're falling in love with you and you're well aware that you'll never commit/marry that person because they aren't the right race. Well if that's the case why even waist their time?

    Now I do know that some people have a dating preference whether it's not being attracted to a specific race or liking one more than all the others. The reason why that is acceptable is because it's your preference also because people make it clear that they are really in or not into you, not to mention just because they make like one race above the rest it doesn't always end up that way and they fall for someone of a different race.

    My point is you/they have your mind made up, don't use people and waist their time.

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  • Yeah a little racists because, why because I'm good enough to be fucked but not good enough for a long term relationship, you better off sticking to your own race I had it happen to me before and it not fun at all bring your self esteem down a whole lot.

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    • What's your racial group?

    • Black, I date mainly white guys and it happened to me on a few occasion.

    • Well if you don't want it to happen, you should establish the conditions of the relationship beforehand. Else anything goes.

  • No. I've heard guys from overseas coming to the west to study and they would try to fuck lots of beautiful women, pretending to love them like they're they're only one in their life but when they would leave the country, the girl is dumped, because they have had a gf back home or their country laws does not allow foreigners to be married to them.

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  • Kindov... so are all other girls there for his entertainment? Experience? Just to say I'm not racist because I dated an Indian girl in college?

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    • I'm not that attracted to Indian girls but that's besides the point

      I still like black/Hispanic girls, I just couldn't see myself marrying one :\

    • Odd... I can't say I think it is racist or isn't. It is just odd. If Thor was interested and we had chemistry I would marry him. I'm just not interested in white guys as a whole.

  • no its no racistism

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  • NO it's not !

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  • Yes because there is nothing wrong with having a deeper relation with a woman of color. Why could you only see yourself marrying a white woman when not all white women are exactly the same in relationships and not all WoC are either? Every woman is different and race doesn't define how great of a wife she'll be

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    • I don't know why, I just do.

    • That reeks of white supremacy. Maybe you should do some soul searching and not date for awhile so that you can figure out where your harmful beliefs are coming from and how you can stop them? Because it's not okay to be racist no matter how you try to dress it up and call it a 'preference'.

  • Apparently only if you are white.
    Everyone else cause use the scapegoat of "Culture" but white people apparently do not have culture and are considered racist.

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    • Pretty much sums up how I feel.

      It's not only a white thing, but also a sexist thing. Like when a girl has dating preferences, it's okay because "sexual attraction isn't a choice", but when a guy has marriage preferences that stray from his sexual preferences, it's somehow "racist".

      Basically, as long as you're white and male, you're held to two double standards.

    • Yeah I notice that a male having a "type" is often shamed. Especially the "no fat girls" preference.
      But we can have our laundry list of requirements which include, job, pay, weight, height, race, etc.
      It is a bad double standard.

What Guys Said 10

  • No dude not at all.

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  • no... its not racist but! and its a big BUTT
    I think most people who say the wouldn't marry a black woman, probably wouldn't have a committed relationship with her
    If they have that mindset its screwed up but i don't think it makes them racist

    It would be racist if the reason for it was "White women make better wives"
    a racist is a person who believes that a particular race is superior to another.

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  • as long as you respect the other races, no you're not

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  • Hard to say. What would be your reasons for restricting marriage to only a white woman? And what are your reasons for dating all races?
    I personally don't think its realistic because you don't really pick who you have the best connection with. So if you are dating all types of women its just as likely that one of them might be better connection for you.

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    • 1. Because I can only see myself marrying a white woman

      2. Because I still like other girls, even if I can't see myself marrying them.

  • Yes, it is, by definition.

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    • Yes, it is, by definition, that is if you won't date someone else regardless.

    • Also, you just "happen" to like people like yourself for racist reasons.

  • Just be open to things

    You may find you really like someone not white (which is a pretty vague category anyway)
    It's just a possibility

    Cutting yourself off to a whole range of possibilities from the get-go is the epitome of prejudice.

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  • I could marry a white, Latina, or Asian woman.

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  • I would only consider it racist in the following situation : You meet a nice (non-white) girl, fall in love, but refuse to marry her because she isn't white. You would be saying that they are good enough to screw around with , but not good enough to settle down with. Maybe I just think a little differently. I find improbable that with all the different people in this world, I would somehow manage to end up with someone of my same race.

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  • Everything depends upon motive. If it is for the simple reason of preference then no it is not racist.

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  • Yes. In that example, the guy would be racist. He's saying that other women are good enough to use for fun and/or sex, but not good enough to wife, based on nothing but skin color.

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    • So dating preferences are racist as well then.

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    • No it's not. I'm only romantically/maritally attracted to white women. I can't control that.

    • Just keep telling yourself that.

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