Guy asks girl out, girl says no. can the guy make a case for himself? or must he quietly accept his fate?

so I recently asked this girl out, she said no. but that's not really the point.
I asked her out at work (hers, not mine) and though she wasn't busy, I didn't want to make things weird or awkward my pressing the topic there, so I just smiled, accepted my fate and went home.
but that doesn't mean that I don't also have a response or an opinion on the matter.

my question to you is whether or not a guy has any right to 'state his case' for lack of a better term with a girl who has turned him down. or if he must quietly accept his fate and just go away.

side note... im kinda friends (i think) with this girl already, so the idea is to have a real conversation, maybe some clarity. not beg for a date or burn any bridges.
also, we're not talking rejection like 'ew' or 'i already have a bf', where its very obvious why she said no and any conversation would be pointless


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Most Helpful Girl

  • How does she react when you flirt with her - if sheresponds then you still have a chance and I would suggest asking her out. Maybe she was shy because it was at work or she couldve just wanted to see hiw interested you are by seeing if you come back and try again. I knew a guy at school who was after this girl for over a year (he just kept trying) they are now happily married with 3 kids.

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    • i think she flirts back, but we're both pretty shy so its hard to tell sometimes. she knows i like her. I've asked her out before, she even said yes, but cancelled on me last minute. but I could understand her reasoning then, it made sense. this time not so much. it was like she was talking herself out of it. im so in the dark on the whole thing that i have no idea whats going on.

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    • Yeah, I do know what you mean - you need a bit of encouragement. No desperation isn't a good look but for some reason men seem less desperate when they do the chasing - it's just the way society is. There is nothing wrong with trying again but yes, you can only try so many times. If she is shy may try giving her a hand written note at work - so you know she has got it - to meet with you somewhere or sms you an alternate time. If she doesn't after that then maybe it's a lost cause. Just a suggestion - it might work

    • thanks. you really went above and beyond on this. decided to forget about it.

What Girls Said 1

  • Depends on the context, if it was joking silly conversation she may have said it sarcastically and to play little games for fun but could change her mind. If she said no flat out then she means no... thats where the creepy guy label comes from and why girls seem unapproachable too many guys have tried to make their case after being rejected which turns into harassment.

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    • believe me, i dont want to be where im not wanted. but we're pretty friendly already, i actually think she likes me. she didn't just say 'no' flat out. it was more of a 'ehhh i still don't think its a good idea right now... or i would' kind of thing. its like she wants to, but won't let herself.
      i don't want to be that guy, but i don't see her that often, so i kinda have to, if she'll answer me.
      is there anything i can do? or is it out of my hands?

    • Just flirt and be her friend for now and see it progress... if she likes you then timing may be a factor, if you both like each other there's no harm in waiting a bit. maybe she doesn't wanna ruin your friendship or maybe she doesn't feel ready to date yet.

    • you're right. whatever happens happens. thanks.

What Guys Said 1

  • Book meeting and show powerpoint presentation of positive attributes!

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