I’m not sure if it’s because of me being in my 30’s but I have become really bad with women. I hardly get any dates. I had terrible crush on someone. I’m doing better now. But to truly move on I feel I need to date again. I’ve never been good at dating but not like now.
My looks are average. A 6 on a normal day, a 7 if I put much effort in it. I’m blond and in good shape because I do sports. I can talk easily to men and women which is a skill needed in my bartending job. People tell me their life stories within minutes. Often people call me when they are in trouble and I will be glad to help them out even if I don’t know them well. At parties I blend in but I’m never the center of attention. My female and male friends like me.
Women seem to like me but there is always somebody or something beating me to the punch. Mostly to guys who seem like jerks and players. I’m a serious kinda romantic guy. When I (and other people) think a woman is into me it never gets to dating. I get to hear things like “I/she think (s) you are a player so I/she chose your friend”. Or I get flaking or very weird excuses. I try not to get excited when meeting an interesting woman because I feel I’m probably going to get disappointed again. Maybe I make women nervous? Bad luck maybe but I will not blame it on circumstances. So it’s me doing something wrong.
I tried online dating but I get no response at all. My friends also do not understand why this is happening. It used to not be so hard. I am a very hard working positive kind person but this has been going for years now. It made me very confused because I tried so many times. I really want this sorted to make a successful new start.
Any input would be welcome.
Most Helpful Girl
This is going to sound super harsh, but it probably has a lot to do with the fact that you are in your 30s and a bartender - hence why they often seem to assume you're a player. Most men in the industry are players - they're there for the 'tang - so when you're in your 30s and still in the industry, that's the assumption a lot of women are going to jump to.1