Why do people lack so much maturity when it comes to dating?

I was recently dating this girl for a good 3/4 months.
So far, everything was good, she made me laugh, she was drop dead gorgeous, and all in all I was getting particularly fond of her. However, a month before we started seeing each other she had just broken up with her boyfriend of 2 years.

Naturally I didn't try to pressure her to start being exclusive again, but I thought that we had connected well. Well, after a calm date to the dog park with our pets, I dropped her off and went to work.

She then COMPLETLEY disappeared for over a month.

Worried about what happened to her, I sent her a couple texts but no response. About 2 months after I forgot about it, only to find out that she got back with her ex boyfriend and didn't think it was necessary to let me know? Im not sure if this is a normal thing in the USA, but where I grew up this is a total no no.

So I did what most people (I assume) would do in this situation- Called her an asshole and deleted her number. Why do people lack the sense of genuine maturity and honesty? This is something that has convinced me to not date anymore.

Let me know what you think in the comments!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is how it goes, man.

    One moment it's going great, the next moment they decide they don't want to see you any more and you are LUCKY if you get a text saying as much.

    Don't blame all the other girls from what this one girl did, and don't be put off dating - wasn't it awesome and totally worth being with her up until this happened? It's those good times that make it all worth it!

    (here's an advice animal meme: Complains about people lacking maturity. Calls girl an asshole as a parting snipe)

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    • Yeah I've been in this guys shoes and unfortunately for a week after I get rebounded by a girl, I used to think she represented most other girls and what I told people about her, they were like what kinda person is this girl?

      But yeah having them pull a 180 sucks ass especially when you don't know why. Like you said, one moment it's going great and then the next moment they ignore you for good and don't give you an explanation making you feel like you fucked up and it's up to you to figure out, leading to a bunch of over analyzing.

What Girls Said 3

  • First of all - Stop making a complete generalization about girls/people because of what 1 girl did.
    Secondly - It's best to assume that after a 2 year relationship, this girl wasn't gonna take you seriously. You should know that. It was an asshole move on her side though.

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    • although I may have not made it clear with my OP, I am not making a generalization based off of one girl. I am making the generalization from dating many girls and having many situations unfold in a similar manner.

    • You're going after very immature girls then.

  • Aw, dude, that's super rude of her! I hate people who "ghost".. but unfortunately, it seems like it's becoming a much more common tactic these days, especially among younger people.. Sorry - no advice, just wanted to tell you to chin up and hope the next girl is nicer...

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  • I think she was an asshole that was a shitty thing to do and especially not telling you about it and I don't know about the rest a of the USA but in my book that is also a big NO NO, she was immature and lacked the decency to care about your feelings.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's mostly lack of courtesy and likely the fact that she may just wanted company. I totally understand about not wanting to date after that, its that whole feeling that people aren't as morally conscious or as committed to a honest straight forward relationship. But as they say no risk no rewards.

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  • She's definitely an asshole, but it's because most people are selfish. They don't care about others. However, not everyone is the same. Just because you had a setback with this instance does not mean all women will be like that bitch.

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  • I'm assuming she was the same age as you. It's your age, most likely.

    19-year-olds across the board (as a generalization) are not thinking as maturely as you, even if they should be.

    Just simple lack of common courtesy.

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    • unfortunately she was 22. So I was a little surprised and disappointed, as I thought dating older women would help with all these immature girls running around!

    • People grow up at different rates, I guess.

  • Lesson learned, don't date people that have just gotten out of a relationship.

    I've been in your shoes and trust me it sucks. When a girl just gets out of a relationship and you date, she could suck up to you a bunch to get a hookup, act super interested but the moment you like them back, they're gone out of nowhere. They either end up with the ex they complained about or find someone they think is better. Selfish move either way.

    If you wanna talk more about it, message me.

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  • American women are a bunch of entitled, self absorbed bitches. Sorry to hear that man.

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