Guys, would you hold it against your girlfriend if she sent guys nudes before you, but not to you?

I know it is stupid, because it happened before me and maybe she had a bad experience so I am not angry on purpose, but I can't help but feel like she doesn't trust me and I am paying for other guys mistakes... I am not mean about it and don't bring it up at all, but am I wrong to just feel this way?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I get why it might feel that way to you, but you've got to understand that it's nothing personal. She probably regrets sending nudes to other guys and doesn't want to make that mistake again. Please do not hold it against her or pressure her to.

    I made the mistake once of making a video with my BF at the time. We were head over heels in love, even talking about getting married some day.. I trusted him completely (otherwise I wouldn't have made the video, obviously). Then, as things went sour with us and he started to go off the deep end mentally, he began to blackmail me with it and threatened to destroy my life y releasing it on the internet. I lived in fear for years after we broke up that it would one day surface and my career, my reputation, would all be over. I vowed to myself that I would never do that again, no matter how much I trusted the man. It makes me sad, because I would really like to share that kind of experience with a man I love one day - it's exhilarating and sexy - but it's just not worth the risk :(

    • Wow that is horrible! And no I am not angry with her over it or pushing her into it, honestly I was never super into it myself. I think what I am really frustrated with is that I have to pay the price for her past guys. I know its not her fault, she learned from a mistake, everyone should do that. I think this is one of those stupid things wher eyo get upset even though you know you shouldn't be...

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    • Oh I see, I was thinking ore in terms of some how sexism directly impacting me here, like her being sexist. You mean more other men being sexist and not treating her with dignity so now I deal with her defenses.

    • Exactly.

      A lot of the things that men complain about women doing these days stem directly from the sexist crap we have to put up with. Most of the things we do that upset men are simply us putting up our defenses. It's why we speed up or cross the street when we are walking alone at night and a man is walking behind us. It's why we don't want you to pick us up or drop us off at home the first few dates. It's why we are often uncomfortable when things start to get sexual, particularly if we're not ready to have full on intercourse with you yet. It's why we make excuses when a guy we're not interested in asks us out, instead of just saying no. We're defending ourselves from the possibility that you're not going to respect our boundaries, even though *most* men of our generation will. The few bad apples really do ruin it for the rest of you.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe she learned from Her unwise mistakes. It's not all about u don't take it personal

    • Im sure she has and that is great, I would hope anyone would learn from a dumb mistake, I think I am just upset over having to pay the price for the other guys mistake, which is dumb in its own right and I know it, yet I feel like this

What Guys Said 2

  • She should have just said she didn't want to and left it at that
    yea she's probably scarred but hey the real thing is 1000x better

    • I agree whole heatedly. not sure why she mentioned sending it to past guys its not even like I am really into getting nudes

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    • I made mistake of admitting that although I believe in love I don't believe in one true love. You better believe she went off asking if I had loved another girl before, (which I had) but after asking me again when I was drunk I told her so and she freaked out and I'm like, 'you kept asking! sorry I chose not to lie to you'

    • girls are drama. too bad we need them lol

  • She may have had a bad experience. Give it time.