Why do people avoid serious relationships? (Ages 18-25) Are you always in search for 'The One'?

So im finding that a lot of people ages 18-25 aren't looking for any serious reltionships.
(When I say serious, I mean, you both want to enjoy each other for the time being to impress/seduce one another, create a close bond, and be loyal to one another.) For me a seriious relationship is ideal, because I dont want to waste time with someone I dont care about or if they dont care as much about me. I also don't want to have meaningless sex.
(which is why im in a relationship)

Instead of serious relationships, I find that it's all about having side chicks, plan b's and instant gratification with no strings attached... Which in my opinion is a careless act and lacks passion.

Typically, i'm told that it's because they are waiting till they find 'the one'...
When I think of 'the one' I think of what personalities would suite me; open minded-philosophical/intellectual, optimistic, cares about health/appearance, cares and helps others, sense of humor, outdoors man, passionate and driven to succeed.
Which isn't hard to find... So I want to know,
1) Are you in a similar situation where you dont want to be in a relationship, if so, why?
2) Is 'The One' hard for you to find? Why?
3) Are people just afraid of commitment or is sex really all thats important?


0|0
9|11

Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) There was a point where I didn't want to be in a relationship, mainly because I was focused on school and knew I didn't have the time for anything serious. Now I am looking for something serious if the right guy comes along.

    2) Very hard to find. I think it should be for most people if they're really looking for the best match. Guys that I feel have come close weren't ready or looking for a relationship.

    3) I think it's a combination of fear of commitment as well as wanting to enjoy the attention of lots of people while maintaining your independence. You lose out on a deep connection this way, but it's a better option during a time in your life where you're learning about yourself and don't really have the time to give to a deeper relationship. Also for when you're learning what you like in others.

    1|2
    0|1

What Guys Said 11

  • Answers to 1,2,3-
    1. Nope,
    2. Nope.
    3. Where, can I possibly find, a Lady, like you? ( Kidding ! )
    This read was a turn on though, How? I don't know.

    I'm not searching, but I sure as heck ain't spending my time waiting !
    There are, so many moments to be had &I wasn't given a life to just pay bills!
    hahahaha~
    xoxoxo

    1|0
    0|0
    • Haha how charming! I love that you enjoy living in the moment, and forgetting the day-to-day mundane stress. How optimistic! (;

    • Show All
    • Hahaha there are always appropriate moments in life when these task can and should be applied, but indeed you are correct- its not everything and there are absolutely more important things in life worth your time (:
      You da man! aha

    • Dayyuuuuum right, and don't you forget it ! #DAMANN.

  • I alrdy found mine @puncakegirl <333

    2|0
    0|0
  • i use to. but you risk sanity and lots of time and resources... some people change for the worst and sometimes permanently... all for something amazing.

    you will acheive more for yoruself and the world if you stay single.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm interested in serious relationships. You could say I'm looking for the "one". Our generation is generally against commitment and dependency.

    1|0
    0|0
  • There is not "one" you work on relationships to make them better and yup most people don't want to do that so it mostly doesn't work out.

    Real dumb people nowadays who don't know the meaning of dedication and commitment

    1|1
    0|0
    • dedication and commitment, i've tried so hard to live up to the meanings but the men around my age make it impossible. Definitely a difficult task when it's one sided. The new goal seems to be 'bang as many hot chicks as you can and use them for what they offer while they remain ignorant of our bad intentions'

    • They bang you and leave you because you pick the wrong a holes who do it and aren't able to settle down

    • There was this one specfic time that i met a marine only 25 years old. I wasn't especially attracted to him, he was attractive but he was super built and I thought that was kind of a douche look. Anyways, he approached me sweetly but with a distinct air of dominance and i gave in. I let him do whatever he wanted and enjoyed the ride until i found out he was fucking milfs... lol i treated him so good by cooking him meals, rubbing his back, plaayed with his hair, let him choose the movies and shows and spooned him.. The minute i found out, i told him not to talk to me. Then each time i posted a new profile pic hed message me... to hook up ofc but wouldn't say it, anyways, he used to always beg for a 3 sum, so i invited him to one with a girl that i told him had very big tits. He came over to her house and he finds out that its a 230lb girl, he tells me she's hideous.. but doesn't object when i tell them to start first. he starts to fuck her and i bailed. I felt in control again

  • I am always looking for the one.

    1|0
    0|0
  • i avoid them... since i wanna remain single :-P

    0|1
    0|0
    • Why does the single life suite you?

    • Hahaha... Why will it not suit us @asker, being single and independent is awesome and we feel like one man army.

  • Everything you just said is exactly how i think and feel :/ shame you dont live near me 😂

    1|0
    0|0
  • It's hard because you want to be sure he/she is the right one. You know?

    0|0
    0|0
    • What would cuse you not to be pleased with just anyone?

    • Show All
    • Someone who'd I'd match my personality with

    • Do you believe it's difficult to find someone whose personality suites you? If so, what kind of personality would suite you?

  • I have some weird beliefs that I do not understand myself which have not served me well.

    Im not even married or have a girlfriend but I live my life like I already was and it's boring as shit.

    0|0
    0|0
    • What are these beliefs?
      And explain how you live life in such a way, i dont understand.

    • Show All
    • No, I mean I want to be updated. Do you ever feel like you're just stuck, but you want to be the best version of you? I want to be the best version of me. UPDATE ME

    • You talk about how 'guys seem to just want to bang as many chicks as they can' but from my perspective, I kind of wish that I did that.

  • Yes i was waiting for "the one", the difference is I was not willing to date or have sexual relations with anyone unless i believe they could be "the one"... this means i didn't date or kiss a girl until i was 22- despite turning down many girls and it being very hard to do, the girl that i am with now is everything i ever wanted and more and i hope to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her... if i don't then i will wait again until i believe i have found the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with and then i will date her...

    1|0
    0|0
    • How virtuous for you to embrace such a long journey with such a rare ability of patience, I admire you! Good luck to you and your lovely lady~

What Girls Said 8

  • 1. I don't "want" to be in a relationship. It's a "whatever happens, happens" thing for me. My priorities are different. Being in a relationship isn't on my list at all. It's not anything I crave, I already get more than enough love from my friends and family. The only thing I care about right now besides my friends and family is education and becoming financially stable.
    2. I'm not going to spend time "looking" for it. It'll find me. I'm not worried about it at all.
    3. Once again I'm not really "afraid" of commitment. My priorities are just different from others. I'll be dating someone and just have fun. Real fun, we care about each other, but if someone says they want to settle down with me for life I know that isn't going to happen. I'm still young and I have a lot of things and places I want to do/go. I'm going to see and meet even more amazing people. Have many great experiences and they don't include that person since they have something different in mind.
    Sex isn't all that important since I'm 21 and still a virgin.
    To me it just seems like people are in such a rush to fall in love. It's sad but I see some of my friends and they say they love their boyfriends, but it seems more like to me that they are in love with the IDEA of falling in love, rather than their boyfriend/girlfriend themselves. It seems like some of them just want to "lock" it in for security or feel like their time is running out when they're still so young. It also feels like they're "settling".. some have even told me. I will never "settle". I don't have to.
    Anyways, I've never really ran away from love. I just never had the same feeling as some people so I ended it.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I am absolutely in love with your response, how endearing! Do you believe there could there be a balance? What do you define love as and believe it to feel like?

  • 1) I am in a serious relationship with a guy

    2) You can't really tell if someone is 'the one' until they prove to be 'the one' but if I were to guess I would say I found it :)

    3) With all the assholes and bitches out there of course someone would be afraid to commit. Also I think people usually just want sex without the hassle of a relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Every relationship I've been in has ended pretty badly. I've been happy ever since I've stopped trying to look for attention from guy and I've been so much more confident in myself and everything I do. I don't need a guy by my side to make me happy. Plus, they always say that love comes when you're not looking (my best and longest relationship came to me when I didn't care for one, and my worst ones came when I was "boy hungry").
    I just want to focus on school right now. Not my future love life.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I would love to have a serious relationship. There's nothing better than having someone you can rely on day in and day out

    1|0
    0|0
  • I avoid relationships because I haven't found a person I liked and is worth the effort (i mean dating is EXPENSIVE and all that energy to make them not feel too neglected but not too smothered.. smh) but also because i don't think i'm quite ready one myself. i think there's a lot of self improvement i need to work on before i can get into one. but if i find a guy worth it for me to skip ahead, i hope he doesn't break my heart lol

    1|0
    0|0
    • What if you get lonely?

    • Show All
    • LOL i can't stand vibrators nor can i stand condoms... I dont like plastic objects, its weird to me. And the vibration is just too overwhelming for me lolol I can stay up for endless hours high on energy trying to masturbate myself to sleep and I just can't. I HAVE to be with someone. lol so lucky you! anime p*rn lives up to such crazy fantasies lol you must have fun XD

    • Hehe its a gulity pleasure of mine XD That's a shame about the vibrator though, even on the lowest setting? I'm the same way if I try to finger myself I'll need a guy for that

  • It's usually guys who wanna stick their dicks in every hole they can find. Vaginas, cup holes, potholes, beehives, you name it.

    I'm always ready for something serious if it cums along. Sadly pretty much every guy I meet isn't.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I avoid relationships, finding another asexual to be with is near impossible

    2|0
    0|0
    • Even in friendships sometimes. Damn, the life of an asexual. How do most of your conversations go?

    • Show All
    • You're just ahead of the game. How is that working for you?

    • There's cool people on there

  • Before I met my now ex, I wanted to stay single because I didn't liked the idea of being in a serious relationship. I had a rough break-up long time ago, and he was the center of my happiness. I saw others' relationship, and people were so obsessed and controlative and jealous. I wanted independence and to be alone. But when I met this guy, my perception of relationship changed. We were very loyal, and committed. We weren't jealous and we didn't had to ask each other for permission. Unfortunately, we broke up, and I think that even when we loved each other, the break-up wasn't that hard. I'm still fighting to win him back, but if it's not meant to be, I will only be with guys that take me serious.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...